Friday, June 8, 2012

Ho, Hum

Well, I am constipated this week because I don't have a photo dump unless you wanna see a picture of my kid with drool down his cheek.

Instead, I thought I would say that my week was just a barrel of ticks and fleas. I had an argument with the men at my office on whether people in the south really say tornado or tornader. Ugh! I flexed out. I understand you hoss grinders think that southerners have two teeth and drink from a jug, and when I say white it has six syllables, but I am not so uneducated that I say effing tornader. Seriously, its almost like the I can say what I want to about my moma but don't you talk about my moma mentality. 

Other than searching for the perfect nachos recipe on Pinterest, nothing exciting but my Hot Tamale guest and this little beauty happened. I got a sweet comment that I was nominated for an award. I love those dang things. It makes me feel like someone does really like me. 

Thank you to Jessica over at Girl on Film for the shout out. I know your supposed to nominate others but I can't do it. I think all bloggers are fantaboo in their own right and this includes you Jessica. Insert blowing kisses motion, muah, muah!


I hope everyone has a great weekend. I am feeling feisty so I will probably do a few dozen cartwheels and put on the tightest sweat pants I have with some over the knee hooker boots and walk into the most upscale boutique and do the stripper shake. 

Happy Friday!
Dusty

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Hot Tamale ..As Luck Would Have It

Hot Tamale get it while its hot! Today, we have Whitney from As Luck Would Have It. This girl is a hoot. We started following each other about a month or so ago. One Saturday, reading through all of my blogs, I come to her post that says, "I'm terminal. I've given myself two months" Well, being the mother hen, I was like oh, no! And then I read it again and busted a gut. Ding, ding the light bulb went off and I was just in love ever since. I love a good blogger who is a little on the whacked side and she is defiantly one to follow along. This girl is too purty and rides motor bikes, people! She rocks! So take it away...

I'm so excited to be hanging out at Dusty's place today. Nice change of scenery for me. Plus, her blog is one of the most amazing treasures I have ever found. I am so stoked she asked me to guest post. And by asked, I mean, I forced myself on her. Take it how you want.

She told me I could blog about anything I wanted and I had a list of possible topics. I decided to forget the  list and write about the most interesting thing I know about: Me.

My name is Whitney

I am your typical blogger with the crafts and the recipes and my babies. Oh, how I love to blog about my babies. I have six. 3 girls and 2 boys. PAH! I totally had you going. Those are all lies. Except my name..my name is really Whitney. I don't craft (not because I don't want to, I just lack talent when it comes to that delightful junk) I cook when I have time, but it's usually frozen pizzas or Marie Calender pot pies, I do believe I am in the negatives when it comes to being baby hungry and 3+2 doesn't equal 6.

So you want the truth do you? Well, the truth is I am married to the hottest man in the universe with 1000000000+ in sex appeal. He pretty much blasted my panties off the first time he looked at me. 
whoa...where'd my panties go?

We dated for about a year and a half and he decided he didn't want me getting away so he slapped a ring on it. And look at us now- Provo's Most Awesome Couple.We both work for the same company.  He mans a radioactive gauge day in and day out while I work up in the mountains in a lab washing dirt. Sounds a bit redundant, doesn't it?


Truthfully, I do a lot more than just "washing" it. My job is actually very important, but we tell people I'm a dirt washer because it's easier than explaining what I really do. Also, it's a funny nickname, like calling a ginger a fire-crotch, or a muggle-born a mudblood. Except "mudblood" isn't funny, it's highly offensive. Apologies to all you muggle-borns.

We're a pretty entertaining bunch, enough to get us through the day.  Flanders likes anything with a motor and loves to spend money. I like poetry and "that's what she said" jokes. Why just last night I made off with an inappropriate joke and Flanders said to me, "You're the whole package, you know that?" and I was a little caught off guard by his sudden sweet comment and I was all, "really, why?" and he was like, "you have looks AND personality." and I was all, "awww, baby." and then he was like, "...all you lack is morals." But you know what? He loves me anyway, and that ladies and gentlemen, is love. Come on over to hang out with Sexy Flanders and me.  Well, it's mostly me. Flanders takes advantage of my blog time to read about cars and motorcycles. Men....

See I told ya! I am pretty sure she is terminal...Crazy! So go over and say howdy and leave her some love on this here blog cause I know she reads it. 


Hot Thursday,
Dusty

P.S. If you wanna join the Hot Tamales, give me a shout or I may just ask you anyway!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

One Shoulder

There is something mysterious about showing a little skin. No, I don't mean go out with your thong bikini to the beach and shake it like a Polaroid picture. I mean a little here or there. Baring your legs in a great pair of shorts or an off the shoulder shirt. Of course for me the one shoulder shirts remind me of the 80's and 90's era and I can't help to sing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" at the top of my lungs. But its back with a vengeance. An updated hot version of Flashdance in 2012. And if I wasn't built like a linebacker, I would probably wear these alot more. They work for me in some ways, I got perky tits which translates to pebbles bouncing freely not making that much of an impression. And of course the girls with the jugs can put on a strapless and spin around like Wonder Woman.




Source: fanpop.com via Toria on Pinterest



So you see these aren't for working out. They are pretty hot! I likey likey. What's your take on the off the shoulder style?


Happy Wednesday!
Dusty

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Santa is a.....

This past week I was talking about someone and made reference to a mooch hooker. Yeah, I know another Dusty saying. Then I pretty much had to come up with a reasoning behind it or who for example could be a mooch hooker and my answer is Santa! 

I have come to the conclusion that Santa is a prostitute. I mean seriously who other than God does a kid age 2 until about 10 does a kid look up to just as much but a fat man in a suit that brings so called free gifts. Every year he hooks himself out. Really? Yes, think about it. Starting the day after Thanksgiving, the man basically turns into a male ho ho and who takes advantage of it? All the mothers out there that want the imaginary gift of sugar plums and candy canes dancing in our kids heads. Last year alone, we paid out about $500 smacks to this guy. Talk about bend over and not get kissed. I wonder if I walk into Toys R Us and tell him to give me a good spanking if I'd get arrested? 

He has the best set up a mooch hooker could have. He sells his face and body to every retail store across the country. Sets on a chair for kids and drunk women to have their picture taken and for a whopping $5 dollars, you get a Polaroid picture for life. I don't know many prostitutes that want their picture taken and posted on a Christmas card with the words, "have a great holiday season". 

Santa's also bad for the environment. We have all these tree huggers claiming global warming and he's the worst violator there is. He prints his face on every roll of wrapping paper and I being a good paying desperate customer, buy the shit up and wrap the kids gifts in this hookers paper all so my kid will feel the joy of hard work by the pimp and his elves. Two hundred and fifty square feet of a paper to wrap a non-recyclable box with a wooden toy train in is one whole tree that could have lived and provided oxygen for my kid. Great now he's taking the air away for me to breath. I mean we go to the dump to take our trash off and the dumpster biatch screams we must put the plastic in this dumpster and the cardboard over across the lot, but Santa kills a forest for monetary gain and its perfectly fine. 

The only person that really has the best deal out of all this is Mrs. Claus. I mean her husband  brings home the bacon and fries it up in the pan and you can't tell me she is just happy that all the kids out there in the world made the list. I believe she goes over to the land of misfit toys and has either her way with the lion emperorer or the pink polka dotted elephant makes her a present that starts up with about 110 volts. 

The only person in this world that can get away with selling his soul to the whole population and do it with a smile on his face and a fat belly. 

So think about this when December 24th rolls around, he turns his only trick of the year and you're opening that beautiful gift with his face on it. You just paid a mooch hooker.

Happy Tuesday,
Dusty


Monday, June 4, 2012

Say What?

How was your weekend? Delish? Mine involved home improvement but that's another story. I'll get to it a few posts down the road. The anticipation of holding your butt cheeks together for that long will bring you back to it in a few weeks. 

So, over the course of blogging I have had several personal emails about where I come up with the crap I talk about. The answer who knows. I think of it and then I twist it until it is a dry wash rag and then put it in the compose section of this blog. Then I get a lot of responses about my "sayings". So what better time than now to give you a little up to speed version of some of my declariations in the world of Dusty. I will give you the phrase or word and use it in a sentence. Pretend I am a college professor educating you in country hick English. Here goes.

Hot Snot..I have the most amazing friends. They are hot snot! If Rachel Zoe can have Ba-Nan-As. I can have Hot Snot. The end.

Hit in the head with a wet squirrel..I would rather be hit in the head with a wet squirrel than go see the new Star Wars 3D movie. (this is truly what I said to my friend Wendy when she asked me to go with her and I truthfully have never seen a wet squirrel.)

Sexier than boots on a duck..Girl, look at you all looking good in your sundress and Payless pumps. You are sexier than boots on a duck.

Burn my eyes with a cuban cigar..My corneas will never be the same. I would rather burn my eyes out with a cuban cigar than see a guy on the beach in a speedo.

Ants eat a bail of hay..Going to the grocery store is like watching ants eat a bail of hay. It's torture.

Watching turtles mate.. I stood in line forever. It was like watching turtles mate at the zoo.

Ass end out of a menstruating skunk. This one my brother says, but I have used it a time or two. I am so hungry I could eat the ass end out of a menstruating skunk. 

So there you have it. I hope this clears things up a bit. I am sure I will give you more of these in the future. But these play an important part of my English language and conversations I have with others. In the south, we are very descriptive and it just makes sense (to us). If I tell someone I am going to hit them upside the head with a wet squirrel them's fightin' words. 

Have a great Monday everyone.
Dusty

Friday, June 1, 2012

Sometimes

Sometimes in life we see things in a new light
it becomes very clear

We either take a nose dive or jump right in

But through it we do it with a great big smile

The moral of this story is...this old chick got new specs with bi-focals which only help solidify that I am 40. Thank you Dr. Eye Bastard. My son who does the best belly flops in the world. No worries he wasn't injured...for long, and yes, that is my Libby Lou after a long day of chasing flies getting a belly rub from dad. It is the best face ever. 

Have a great weekend,
Dusty

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Hot Tamale ..Oh, Just Living the Dream

So I am doing the Pee Wee Herman dance but you can't see it. Why? Hot Tamale day bay bee! And today we have Sierra from Oh Just Living the Dream. First she's beautiful. And funny. You know LOVE funny chicks. But she inspires with her travels and her words. I am truly convinced that one day she is going to be the one you read that makes a difference in this world if she hasn't already. I love her peace by piece (and yes that's the way I typed it, figure it out!) So lets get this partay rockin'...


Hi Friends! I'm Sierra and I blog over at Oh, Just Living the Dream So. This one time I saw that Dusty had "Hot Tamale" post on her blog. I almost screamed with sheer joy. So genius, right? Clearly I was envious and wanted to participate in this special endeavor. And Dusty let me. Isn't she so nice?

But, guys. I have this issue. I tried to find some pictures of me where I looked like a "Hot Tamale" and I couldn't find very many. So, without further ado, I want to share you some real pictures of me, Sierra. 

It's about to get real here, peeps. 


I thought that maybe I could show you how cute I was as a little girl. But that's kind of weird, right? Like, you don't exactly call little kids "hot." But, I was pretty cute, right? No? Check out those cheeks. 


Going to show you my competitive side. But then I realized my double jointed elbows were apparent. Those aren't pretty. 


Most girls wear sexy costumes for Halloween. This is what I wear. Hippie hick? I'm from Oregon, it's fine. 
P.S. I hate halloween. Can you tell? 


Sometimes I go to premieres of movies, like Harry Potter, and look like this.
And I prove to myself why I am still single. 


I walk llamas though, so that's cool, right?


But my brother loves me. Family bonding. It's real, people. Very real. 


Well, okay, so I found one. Look! I'm normal! 

I feel like we should stop there for now. It's fine guys, my mom says she loves me. Have I convinced you to head on over to my blog and check out how awesome and beautiful I am yet? :) But seriously. It's never a dull day over at Oh, Just Living the Dream! I love to laugh. I love to joke. I love to write serious things. I love to write. I love to dream. Come "live the dream" with me! 
Happy Thursday, people. Thank you, Dusty, for letting me attack your blog!! (Isn't she awesome?!)

-your double jointed, llama walking, hugging siblings, ridiculous, hot tamale friend 
Sierra 

So whatcha think? Isn't she grand! So go over, say "Sup" and show her some blogland love because we are kind people. 

And don't forget you wanna be a Hot Tamale? Send me an email or I may just hound you myself!

Rock it,
Dusty

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Classic Cowgirl

Sadly my style is one of two. Classic or hippie. And I kind of sorta like it although I wish I could venture out more, but I don't think triangles and horizontal stripes are my thing. I see it on others and love it, but then I imagine myself in it and then I go, uh, no. Truthfully, jeans and tshirts are my go to like every all american girl, but sometimes a girl has to venture out of the house. 

There are a couple of fashion bloggers that inspire me. I am sure they know who they are I stalk I mean read their blogs everyday for inspiration. And then there is one that now has me addicted to the new Bachelorette and what she is wearing. I am a country girl at heart. So I thought I would give a whirl as to what I would wear out for a good night of honky tonkin'.


I see these shorts everywhere and I love them (if I was a bean pole). But I am not sure if they have a panel in them cause this girl is in a no thong zone. 



Then I would put on something light with a tank underneath. Cause a girl sweats her baguettes of line dancin'


Source: ae.com via Girls Love on Pinterest


I'd slap on this hat just because every other muchacha will have on a cowboy hat so a girl needs to break the rules




And then I would pull these FANTASTIC BOOTS on my feet. Good gawd I hope these mothers go on sale because if they do they are mine, mine, mine! As soon as I saw these I imagined all the possibilities...key word imagined. But they are HOT SNOT!!!!!!!!!!!!


Source: ae.com via Girls Love on Pinterest


So yeehaw girls!  A little cowgirl classic, now I need to work on being a bean pole. Love it or hate it?


Happy Wednesday, Ya'll!
Dusty

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Something New


Would you like to be a sponsor on my blog? Well, I would love to have you. All friends are welcome and I would like for us to grow together. I mean seriously who doesn't love that face. Ok, that was a little crazy, but I cracked myself up. 

For the month of June, well actually any time you sponsor, you will receive a feature spotlight, once a day you will get a shout out on my twitter feed and all buttons will be in rotation, so everyone gets to be highlighted or first in line. I loved first in line when I was in school. I guess that's why on my people map I am Leader/Free Spirit.

Join me won't you?

Friday, May 25, 2012

Happy Insta Friday

So a show of hands that we are so glad its a long weekend? Much needed right? And if you raised your hand, I can't see it, but thanks for playing my version of Simon Says. I thought I would share a few pictures I am loving this week.

I got a new hat. I am a hat girl and would wear one every day of my life if I could. Although I have heard in men if you wear a hat all the time that you hair will fall out. So I elect to not do this every single day. Also, my hair is a little darker. I have been rocking this blond thing since I was in my early 20's which was along time ago, so I have to put some low lights into it. It will fade in a few washes, thank goodness, but this was fresh out of the salon. Well, the color is I came home and curled the mess. I also realize this isn't the best angle. I seriously need a nose slimming process.

I don't know what I do to deserve such great friends, but a wonderful friend of mine send me this shirt she made. I won't lie, I kind sorta cried. I love my little blog. And so proud and grateful others do too.


Do my dogs look high in this picture? Duh sent me this picture this week and I swear I was thinking they were having a Bob Marley party while I was at work. I need to check and see what's in the dog food.

And finally, my kid made me this for mother's day at school. Adorable right? I also love that his thumb is so long. I must check this out in real life and see if he needs doctor assistance. This could put a damper on his pro sports career later on and momma really wants a Range Rover. It's probably one of my most treasured things he ever gave me besides hugs and kisses. It's setting on my desk in my home office so I can see it every single day.

So there's my dump for this week. I hope everyone has a great long weekend and salute the one's who service our country every day. 

Happy Day,
Dusty

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Hot Tamale ..The Dirt Life

Welcome to this Memorial week of Hot Tamale. How fitting to have this sweet inspiration over here today. Sometimes you meet or read people I should say that make you see things in a different way. Their photographs inspire you and make you see the soul of other parts of life. I will fully admit, I am not one with dirt but Twiggy over at The Dirt Life does that for me. I kindly refer to her as Sticks. And I refer to her blog on most days as "Sticks n Stuff." We are kind of alike really. She's sarcastic but in a fun way. She's hella beautiful and I think I just might go camping in her honor. So without further adieu, say a southern howdy to my friend Twiggy.


A warm “Hello!” to all of Dusty’s readers. I’m excited to be here today, for sure, and find it an honor to plop out 3 things that define who I am in this sacred little space of fried pickles. If you want to hear what I think about this here girl Dusty, whom I like to call Locks, then pop on over to my blog today. You will probably agree with me when I say that Dusty must have an arsenal of photographs just waiting to be discovered, because the ones she sent me….woa.


Here we go, the top 3:


1. I love dirt.


Honestly, I just love the outdoors period. Sure, there are parts that are less than ideal, like wasps and poison ivy, but overall I could live in the woods. In fact, I have. My husband and I are long-distances hikers and we have spent nearly an entire year of our lives hiking two trails that have added up to nearly 5,000 miles. To get a perspective, the miles between the state of Maine and the state of Hawaii is 5,280. This makes me want to puke a little bit.


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n_america


2. I almost didn’t marry my husband.


Don’t freak out. It’s not that he proposed and then I got skiddish and hopped a train to Turkey or something. What I mean is, that when I met him, I was 16 and was in the process of moving to Ukraine--to live there--forever. All I needed to do was graduate high school and finish the paper work. By the time I was set to leave, I had fallen for him. But we were merely friends. It was a big call, but I decided to stay, feeling that if I missed the opportunity to (I was desperately hoping) date him, that I would regret it for the rest of my life. Just guess how long it took him to ask me out. Just guess…it would make you so mad. TWO YEARS!


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We did everything together and spent nearly every day together. I don't know what took him so long.


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3. I met my best friend in blogland.


Yep, 4 months ago to be exact. She’s been featured as a Hot Tamale on this here blog before, so most of you probably all ready know her. Guys, that is one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard of and it’s happened to me. You should hear how silly I sound when I try to explain this to family. They’re like, “blogland? Huh?” I haven’t even met her yet, as in, in-the-flesh-met-her. And I’m not just saying, “Oh yea, she’s my best friend”, I’m saying, “Legit. Best friend I have EVER, EVER HAD.” And she lives in flipping Utah. And every day I get so sad that Utah doesn’t border South Carolina. Like, it’s not even close. Skype just has to do for now.

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Ya’ll remember this face, right?

Thanks, again, Dusty for inviting me on this adventure called guest-posting!

So this makes you want to go do a cannonball in a mud puddle doesn't it? It also proves you can meet some amazing friends in this blog world. I strongly insist you go over to Sticks blog and just look at her pictures. Amazing. You will get sucked in. Show her some kind love and beware of the girl above. If you remotely mess with Sticks, she will turn into a ninja and kick ass. I on the other hand am pretty brave. 

Have a great Thursday friends. And remember I would love to have you as a Hot Tamale. Just shoot me an email or I may ask you anyway.

Smiles,
Dusty

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Summer Essentials for a Frump Girl

I haven't felt real fashion forward lately. This Tater Queen entered the biggest loser contest at work. Not to really lose alot of weight but to be motivated to exercise. I have lost 1 pound and ate enough fudge bars to keep Willie Wonka in business. But I do think a girl needs summer essentials in her wardrobe. Bikini season is upon us. Don't even get me started on that because I might cry like a girl. But my wish list contains a few things that if given the opportunity and the right time. Which means I get off my butt and go somewhere nice, these are a few things I would put on or put in my suitcase on a vacay.


these wedges most defintaly




I am a hat girl. I probably have 30 so this is a must

a fun bag, i am a hippie at heart




honestly this whole outfit would suit me just fine


So simple is the key. Doesn't take much to make me happy. Although those shorts are kinda shorty short. But every girl has a staple and few essentials that she loves. What's yours?


It's hump day!
Dusty

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

And I Ponder

Well, its just Tuesday. Plain ole Tuesday. The great thing about this week. Long weekend. yeah baby! Until then I am up to my old tricks of pondering. Here's what's grabbing my goat these last few weeks.

First, there is a what I guess, is a homeless chick that stands at the intersection down from the office. She's been there for more than a year. Sometimes her boyfriend has his guitar and they have a sign that says "Hard Times, Anything Much Appreciated". I am trying to figure out why in the world the police or someone hasn't stopped to help her. I also wonder stupid crap like, where did she get the piece of cardboard to write on. And the marker? I know. The girl is roasting like a marshmallow at a Boy Scout campfire and I wonder where she got the marker and cardboard to write on. But my point is, if she's homeless, shouldn't she like print it on a dirty shirt or something, like a cheap concert T. A woman gave her $10 smacks the other day, but good wife beater and no bra and she might be trading in that street corner for something better.

Next, there is a popular fashion blogger with like 10,000 plus followers out there. I won't say the name but I am sure you can guess. I love her blog too. I visit it every day. I actually like most of what she puts on, and really like her earlier creations, but I love reading the comments. I have left one comment the whole time I have followed her. Never a response. But I see the same suck ups comment every day. And some days the outfits look like crap and I seriously wanted to do her roots for the longest time. It drove me nuts, but I swear these people could say, "oh, (blank), you have the most beautiful asshole. Where did you get that ass hole, I must have it, I bet it would look great with a pink cardi". I love bloggers because I am one. But really?

Why doesn't anyone ever walk up to you and say. "Oh, I love your blush where did you get it?" It's always your lip gloss or the eye shadow, but never the blush. Hmmm, pondering.

Finally, there is a house that has been basically turned into a funeral home on the main drag  where we live. On the way back we got caught in traffic and Ian looks at me and says, "Moma, that is a great house, I bet its a happy place." Uhhhh, long pause and silence. The first time I had no clue what to say to my kid. He apparently thinks people live there and there is a water slide and pool in the back. I love that he is so oblivious to the world. Turns out there is a boy that played on his baseball team and his family owns the funeral home. I tell this story to the Owner and he busts a gut laughing. After thinking about it. I now see the humor in it. 

What are you pondering today? Come on leave me a few goodies.

Tuesday love,
Dusty


Monday, May 21, 2012

The Mushy Pecker

You know when two minds get together, it's amazing what you can come up with. I imagine this is what some of the great inventors of the world came to the conclusion of although not via email. Last week, Jes wrote a post about men and women and the historic ways of communication between the two. I made a comment on that post that men in general after fighting with a woman basically think that make up s.e.x makes things all better. It got me to thinking. Thus began a new venture. I am the brains and she will handle the money. Oh, and all customer service calls.

Now ladies we all know that this is true. You get in a fight. You're still steaming. The man for some reason is turned on by this, yet thinks that becoming the minute man at the gas station of love will make you in a good mood. Thus this new product will help settle the score. 

It's called the Fake a Period Kit. For a mere $5.99 you can buy a kit that comes with three fake tampon strings and adhesive. All you have to do is say, "honey with your teeth gritted, I am so sorry but I am on my period or I just started my period." Here's how it works. You slip into the bathroom, pull out the fake string, place the tape on the tip of the string and stick to the vajajay or somewhere in the vicinity. When he doesn't believe you, hike that leg just enough to see the string. I mean all it will take is to see 1/2 inch of the damn thing and they will roll over and start snoring. 

If they keep on harassing you, for an extra $2.99, we will include our special potion called Stinker Juice. A small bottle of that not so fresh feeling. Dip the fake string in, stick and fo sho with one wiff this will induce the Mushy Pecker syndrome. What goes up must come down. It's our own special recipe and we cannot divulge the ingredients. 

Don't worry the adhesive will come right off after three episodes of Swamp People and they are sound asleep. You can then high five yourself for the win. I mean is this not the best invention ever? No more excuses. No more fake headaches. No more I am just too tired. The fight ends there. Pure defeat and you can stay pissed for as long as you want. Just remember the products are non-returnable or refundable and if this doesn't work for you, I recommend fighting like in the Roman days. 

Free trials are available for the Fake A Period kit. Get them while they are hot. These could sell out in minutes. Just send your money to 12345 I Fooled You Bastard Dr, Womanland, USA 00000 or to order call 1-000-IGOTYOU. 

Warning! Do not try to apply while intoxicated. It may not be believable if you are chocolate wasted with sprinkles and its stuck to your anal area.

For all the women in the world this is invention is for you! Other products such as  removable hemmoroids coming soon.

Happy Monday,
Dusty

Friday, May 18, 2012

I took a dump

A photo dump that is..I figured on this Friday I would give you a few pics of whatz been happenin' in my world besides all the other ridiculous crap. So here goes nothing.


we went to the lake
and

took Libby Lou Lou swimming
she thinks she's badass

the beast Mille came too
probably this old girls last swim

went to a Nashville Sounds game
and if we aren't redneck enough 
to have the scoreboard as a big guitar

here are my boys 
Duh, the walking coloring book
and toothless Ian

cotton candy is a must
and good for his remaining teeth

I had this for breakfast
Mt. Dew low in calories right?

Hunter Boots on Pinterest pinned one of my pics
I died twice

after resuscitation I ate this bad boy
and even licked my fingers

I feel so much lighter. Cleansed from the delete button down. I hope you have a great weekend.
Gooshy love,
Dusty

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Hot Tamale ..Becoming What I Always Was

Hot Tamale Thursday. It's gettin' hot in here so take off all your clothes. Just kidding, keep your clothes on but this girl featured today is Hot Snot! You remember in school when there was a cool girl and you just knew you wanted to be friends with her but you knew you probably weren't cool enough to do so? This is how I was when I first started virtually hanging out over at miki's blog. I love her! She's so real. You can relate to her and connect with her because she so down to earth, funny and genuinely nice. I am so glad I am cool enough to be her bloggy friend. So now I can zip it and you can read it.

How goes it? My name is miki, I prefer a lowercase “m”, because I am just not really into capitol letters. I blog over at Becoming What I Always Was, and I feel really honored to be here guest posting on Dusty’s blog, mostly because she’s the funniest girl I’ve ever virtually befriended. I told her yesterday that her blog is my favorite, because it yanks my emotion strings all over the place. I read a post and I am either on the floor laughing, buried in my hands crying, or shouting at my computer screen as I imagine Dusty doing when she writes about things like Bristol Palin. This is all aside from the fact that anything will make me cry. I cry at commercial, at TV series, at emails, blogs, you name it - I can muster up some tears.

I know that you’re dying to hear who I am and what makes my blog and I unique, so let’s get on with it! Like I said I am miki, and I’m married to a handsome bloke named Jared. He is 7 years older than my young self. We’ve lived together for a bit over 2 years, and have been married for 9ish months. People like to call us newlywed, but that just isn’t true. We’ve been practically married since a year after we met. So we’re kinda like the old couple in our gang already. Jared and I have one child. Our child is actually of the canine species. Her name is Shia L. Spinelly. She was name after Shia Labeouf, because my husband wanted her to be named after a movie star. His choices were Tom Hanks or Joe Pesci. Since Joe and Tom are not girl names, we went with Labeouf. Shia (the dog) is adorable, she is a big mess, can be extremely gassy, always stubborn, she trips over her own feet, loves taking baths, and is the biggest cuddle monster you have ever met. She just turned 1 1/2 on April 6th. You’r all invited to her 2nd birthday party on October 6th.

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Most of the things that I post on twitter have to do with my fur baby or my candy addiction. I could eat Candy all day and all night. The worst feeling is when I brush my teeth, crawl into bed and then start eating candy out of habit. I mean It’s right next to my bed in the “candy drawer”. It’s the worst to have to get out of bed just to brush your teeth. I would let my teeth fall out to avoid this problem, but my parents paid some good money to have those teeth put in the correct place when I was younger.

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I live in the glorious state of Utah. Which means that I am beating the statistic, because at the age of almost 22, you’re suppose to be married with 3 kids, and by the time you’re 25 have between 4-6 kids. That statistic comes from me.. but it’s probably dead on. I have noticed a lot of baby fever hitting pretty hard in blog land lately. I wrote an entire post on how to cure baby fever. Not that I don’t like babies, I just don’t think I am ready to give up sleeping in till 2pm on the weekends. Is that so hard to believe?

My celebrity doppelgänger is Zooey Deschanel. I get lots of compliments, saying we look similar. Whatcha think?
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If you choose to visit my righteous blog, then you may hear some foul language, hear me lust over my husband and praise the cuteness of my dog! Won’t you come on over and be my neighbor?


So click away. Go be her neighbor and her friend. She's beautiful and pretty amazing. Lucky duck I am!
Happy Hot Thursday Tamales,
Dusty

PS.. you wanna be a Hot Tamale give me a shout, or I may just ask you anyway.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

A Skirt Tale

Oh, what a beautiful day. Of course I have no idea what kind of day Wednesday will be. Let's get real I wrote this the night before. But hopefully, its all sun shiny. So Saturday we went to the evil place called Target. I went in to get one thing and $100 some odd dollars later. I was wondering what I really went in for in the first place. Oh, yeah, a picture frame and candle. So I must have been ate up with the dumb ass because I bought this outfit. 



Did you notice anything? It doesn't have legs. It's free flowing. It must have been the rain because I obviously was delirious. I like things that cover my legs because well they are the equivalent of a well basted turkey. And all I can think about is my butt is going to jiggle too much in this thin piece of bed sheet. Damn these fashion bloggers. They make me think like the Little Engine That Could. So I thought well, this outfit would be cute in the dark with these shoes.



And then you know how I become obsessed with things. Well, I have been obsessing over all the Real Housewives of New Jersey have these clover earrings. One google search and wa-la, I found them. And I totally bought them too. What the hell is wrong with me? Thank you New Jersey.

So I must seek professional help. In a matter of days, I have managed to buy a skirt that quite possibly might hang in my closet until someone gets married and earrings I thought may make me hot snot. Oh, well, we all have our weakest moments. Thank you Miki for making me feel better on Sunday about it. She said I was worth it cause it was Moma's Day.

Have you bought something out of your element lately? 


Have a great Wednesday!
Dusty