Where's the Beefcake?

If you noticed, I didn't blog yesterday. Why? Because I decided to make a deal. Let me explain. The Kid's birthday was back in February. With everything going on with baseball,  here and there, I haven't been able to schedule his birthday party. He's been asking everyday since to have a bowling party. So Sunday, while I was standing in line waiting for his team baseball pictures to commence, one of the mother's mentioned that it was her child's birthday and all he wanted was to watch Wrestle Mania on Pay Per View. Then the sound of the bell went off..Ding! Ding! On the way home I devised a plan. I said, "Okay, here's the deal. You can either have a bowling party this summer or I can buy the wrestling event on TV for your birthday but you have to forgo a party." After about a negative 30 seconds, he said, "Deal!" I thought I had hit the jackpot. Why? You ask again? Because a bowling party would have cost me up to $150 smacks. Humans beating the crap out of each other $60 smacks. I win! 

The Kid loves wrestling. I watch it. Or participate because that's what mothers do. I also can relate. As a kid my own father loved wrestling. He used to take us to wrestling matches in Downtown Nashville. We watched it every Saturday at noon and years later actually became friends with one of the wrestlers by the stage name Moon Dawgs. I also asked this friend at one time why in the world he wanted to be a Dawg of the Moons. It's a complicated, turkey leg eating story. 

Any hoot, this is a staple in our house. Ian loves it. Every Monday night and Friday night I know that I stay in the bedroom. I call it pure torture. Sort of. I mean these guys have more baby oil on their bodies than I did at 13 laying out by the county swimming pool trying to impress boys in a bikini. They are walking slip n slides. Then their heads look like they have been shrunk by a voodoo worshiper. Their arms can't even touch their sides, so they walk like plastic toy figurines. Don't get me wrong. The Rock is smoking hot as a mouth full of Hot Tamales, but their something weird about walking around in one piece looking bathing suites or speedos with over zealous muscles that look like pizza doughs strategically placed on their bodies.  And you really want to know the truth? The first thing I look at is their mid section. Where's the beef? The stuff? The rumble in the jungle? There's nothing that even resembles a bulge. They all have the mushy pecker syndrome. 

Then there's the issue of pouring sweat on to each other's bodies, the lifting up in the air with their hands between their legs. Is that normal? A man putting his hand between a guys legs on the little Tiffany box and picking them up only to slam them down? I don't understand the logic of picking up a 300 pound guy only to throw him down. Don't they know that shit hurts and could cause hemorrhoids? If you pick up a guy over your body weight and the blood vessels are bulging out of your head, that's a sign that you back away from the beef cake. I mean that crap would kill a normal person. And further more they are touching the marbles. You gotta be in touch with the manhood of the ball nation to do such a thing. 

I don't know that I really understand the logic of volunteering to be pile drived into a mat. Although one guy with his eyes rolled back in his head and tongue hanging out reminds me of when this Moma has a little snap session and whips life back into shape. But I do know this. I,  on my quest to come out as cheap as possible on the birthday party, made the deal of the century. No screaming kids. No invitations. No big bucks spent on slushies and pizza. I got to stay home, eat Burger King and see my kid happy as a lark. I guess it really is worth spending the money on half naked, crazy men.

Happy Tuesday,

Dusty

I Took A Dump

Sometimes you have to see the beauty 

on days when you need a little sunshine

If you open your eyes wide enough

everything around you becomes clearer

That it's the little gestures

like a cuddle

 sweet words

from a beautiful soul

or a funny face

that makes life all worth it.

Make the little things count!

Happy Friday,

Dusty

*follow me on instagram dustydalley

Hot Tamale.. Puddle of Grace

I haven't done a Hot Tamale series in a bit and with all this craziness going around about Google reader and joining Bloglovin and press here, click there, I wanted to showcase a beautiful soul. Her name is Rebecca and she blogs over at Puddle of Grace.

She's from England which in my book makes her way cool. She loves going to plays and musicals. I think there are some she has seen a few times. She also loves America. Isn't it funny how all we want to do is visit her country and all she wants to do is visit ours?

I also loved getting to know her because she is a wonderful writer. It's deep and meaningful. Life lessons and daydreams. She makes me want to set down and drink tea for hours and just talk. You know like girls do. Although, I think we would laugh alot. She's a real girl with real emotion living each day with struggles like we all have but with the biggest heart. I dig her. And if I dig her then I know you will too. 

Go over and meet my sweet friend Rebecca. Read her posts. You'll relate and say hello. She's a great blogger and a great friend. One of these days I hope our paths cross and we can wear Hunters and frolick. I love frolicking. Maybe we will look up the Queen, knock on her door and then run off or maybe Prince William and Kate will let us babysit the new arrival. Hell, we will jump on the beds at the palace, feed the kid some Skittles instead of crumpets and get a guard to smile.

Blog

Have a Hot Day y'all. 

Dusty

Pot Problems

I have been pondering. Uh, oh is right. This weekend while I was stuck in the house so the dark clouds could pour down rain on our Easter weekend, I did a little research. By research, I mean I was in my pj's on the internet looking at "stuff."

I researched chalk paint which I have fallen in love with. There is no prep time, no need for primer and you can take a darker color add a little white to it and come up with a lighter version. I will be using this paint while redoing my kitchen which to inform you I have decided on my color scheme. 

But I also have been looking into vitamins and herbal thingamajigs. Something to do a little cleansing while not setting on the pot all day and also to curb my appetite. Not that I eat alot. I don't consider eight Hershey kisses alot. 

I read about Green Tea and how it has a ton of antioxidants in it. It's good for you. Speeds up the metabolism and helps flush the system. I drank some Green Tea years ago and I ended up on the pot. I see a theme here. So, I thought I would try it again. I drank it hot this time and it was yuck. I am the girl who puts milk and 5 teaspoons of sugar in her coffee in the morning, so drinking this by itself was almost like asking someone on Survivor to eat a bug. 

I want something that is also caffeine free. I don't need to be jumping out of my skin. I found that Green Tea comes in capsule form, but these capsules also contained some caffeine. How much is the kicker. I have no clue what the equivalent is. So, I guess I should stick to drinking the bland tea unless anyone else has tried the capsule and can give me the 411. 

I bought some new vitamins as well. I get pretty exhausted by about two in the afternoon. I thought maybe I am low on some vitamin, so I bought a bottle. It said helps promote energy,  stabilize metabolism and a dietary supplement. The problem with vitamins is then I can't go to the pot when I take them. All these minerals get together and have a little gathering party in my colon and then decide to just mingle in the colon kitchen until a greaseball comes and interrupts the good time. Plus, they taste just like gummies. I hate gummies but I also don't like to take horse pills.

Dr. Oz has recommended this shitzl called Pure Garcinia Cambogia Extract. It's supposed to be a fat buster and increases your serotonin levels to enhance your mood so your less likely to binge eat. I think that means I will only eat three Hershey kisses. I read the reviews mostly all good. But then if I read one bad one I am convinced its a waste.

So I ask you. What herbal supplements do you take? I need something with energy. I need something to make me not have a sweet tooth. I need something that doesn't make me go to the pot all day yet lets me go to the pot.

Give me the scoop. 

Happy Wednesday,

Dusty

Trickery

Easter has come and gone! You know what that means? No more Peeps! That's right. They are leaving. Gone. Finito. Sianara. Exito. Bye Bye. Later Tater. I was in Target yesterday and they were already packing them up. Which got me to thinking. I can seriously understand why our country has a high obesity rate. Starting from Halloween on there's nothing but sugar filled isles. Candy! Candy! Everywhere. We get no reprieve until now. After this holiday, the sugar filled high in carb evil that in our sights for almost seven months and really means probably about eight total because the retailers get a hair up their asses to put out decorations and celebrating holidays a month before the stupid holiday arrives is over. So, we sweek (combination of sweet and week) toothed individuals succumb to the glorious Gods of Candyland goodness. No wonder my kid needs $700 dollars worth of dental work. Apparently, I let him sign up for "let's rot our teeth out" kind of life. 

Although I do not let him eat those Peeps in my sight. They scare me. The only satisfaction I get is some snot nosed kid has gobbled them up. Death by kid. I wonder if there is a special sentence in Peep death. Five years of freedom if you ask me. Eating a Peep should constitute a hall pass if your kid gets in trouble at school. "Oh, I am sorry my kid busted your kids nose, but I can't punish him. He destroyed 3 packs of Peeps at Easter." He's part of the Peep Mafia.

The Kid asked me if the Easter Bunny was real. I of course asked him why. He said, "Well, some kids are saying he's not and that its your parents." Well, my answer is this. If you believe in your heart that he's real then he is. Then he said, "Oh, mom I know he's real. You don't have any money and he brought me an Easter basket with candy and gifts." Well, if that does just put a nut in your ego. But then again this can work to my advantage. If he thinks I am poor then he won't be asking me later on in life for a car. Now this is some shit I can get on board with. 

Yes, I know eventually, he's going to find out that all these characters are make believe which if you ask me sucks the big flag pole because I still myself think Santa could be real. But it also poses the question, of well, when he finds out is he going to call me a big fat liar? Maybe I will tell him it was Duh. Duh made me lie to him from the age of believery and that his father is to blame. Oh, I am kind of loving this game now. Crap that won't work. I can't let his father take the wrap for that. Plus, I really should save that card for the later in life thing I mentioned before like the car idea. I mean if your going to blame someone for something, a teenager not being able to drive his own vehicle would be the perfect way to one up the other parent. You know that when it comes to that age we are probably going to tangle like wild cats. He's going to want freedom from the nest and I am trying to convince him that 25 seems like a great age to leave it. So, yeah, I better save my terrible, "it's your father's fault" card for later in life. 

In  the end, The Kid woke me up this morning and said, "Mom, the Easter Bunny came. He brought me a bunch of candy and I wanted to share this with you." I got up, looked on the night stand and there was the Reece's Peanut Butter Egg that was in his basket. And I realized at that very moment that my Easter gift was the fact that he had the heart to share his candy. Only because he probably knew I would steal and eat it when he wasn't looking. And if he only knew I paid for it so its really mine to eat anyway. I love this bunny believing game. I got chocolate out of the deal from myself.

I say believe forever if you want. Nobody says you can't. Now where's this money tree I keep hearing about?

Happy Monday,

Dusty

don't forget to follow me on Bloglovin

Name Game

Please do not beat me up. I am so behind on blog reading and commenting and stalking and all the things necessary to continue to be loved in blogland. I promise to catch up this week, the weekend and before next week. 

In the meantime, hypothetically I have stated this week that I might want to change my blog name. So, say if I did what should I change it too? 

Here are my choices in no particular order...

1. The Alley Way 

the last name is Alley and the Alley way or the highway.

2. The Queen Dee or 

The Queen D

my first name starts with D, my middle name is de (yes, spelled with a little "d" fun fact)

and friends called me Dee Dee.

3. Hip & Square

sometimes I am cool and sometimes just the average weird human being

So, which one do you like? Or do you have another suggestion? I am all eyes because I can't hear you, duh! 

As Tone Loc would say, "Let's Do It" (insert Wild Thing music here).

Dusty

Kitchen Aide

So you know how I talked yesterday about changing my kitchen, well, I thought I would just continue you on, show you what I am dreaming and see what you think. First, a little back story. I am a country girl at heart. Now don't get it wrong, no deer heads because looking at their eyes freak me out. You know just like those beastly Peeps that are in the stores right now. I avoid them at all cost in the grocery store. The creep me the eff out. Weirdo fact #1.

But I like pretty things. Things that are worn. Items that look like they tell a story. I want to look at something and say this reminds me of a time when...... And even though I can turn into a honey badger in two point two seconds, I am still a girly girl at heart. 

So, with that said, I am not a contemporary girl at all. I don't like cool stark rooms with alot of black or white and metal and I am not one for off the wall patterns. But I will say that I like to mix and match a little old and a little new. As long as the room tells a story. Okay, there's my interior design advice. Want anymore, send me a email. 

I am attracted to Cape Cod style homes. I love New England. The feel of an old cedar shake home overlooking the ocean is honestly where I dream to live one day with endless Hunter boots and shopping at the local seafood market. So, I am in love with cottage type homes and the decor. A hodge podge of goodies and treasures you find and make them fit into your own home. Something weathered and re purposed. Oh, to take a wooden pallet and make a coffee table out of it or a picture frame with left over wood. Heaven.

When I start a project, I look for inspiration. Something takes me to a place of imagination. A color, a texture and how it makes me feel. 

My inspiration was this tea cup. I love the mixture of the old world pattern and the worn turquoise blue with the pure white. 

Source: m.anthropologie.com via Girls Love on Pinterest

So, I want to paint my kitchen which is now a two toned tan color with white washed cabinets, a more subtle burlap color very light but the more I see these cottage white walls the more I become inspired to do this. Which I will instantly regret because of dirty 8 year old hands and muddy dogs. but the real stand out piece is my island which I want to cover with bead board and paint this pretty turquoise, robin's egg, weathered color. I also want to repaint my cabinets white. Here are a few examples of the color and style of kitchen I am dreaming of.

This kitchen has all my elements, bead board, brick, that little yellow oven to add character and that color, oh, that color on the cabinets.

Source: snarkattack.tumblr.com via Girls Love on Pinterest

This kitchen has alot of the elements I also love. The white is a little too stark for me but there's that island. Oh, and that color again.

Source: theoldpaintedcottage.com via Girls Love on Pinterest

This room even as an office makes me swoon. I also have a cabinet in my kitchen that I want to repaint. Oh, and there's that color again. A little more blue grey but these walls, I would have to repaint my wooden kitchen table...oh, the possibilities.

Source: thenester.com via

So there you have it. My color inspiration for my island. One day to have a farmhouse kitchen sink but for now just to add a little color. What do you think? I know this look isn't for everyone but that color is inviting and calm right? And isn't your home a reflection of who you are? This makes you want to just come, eat biscuits and drink sweet tea.

Happy Wednesday friends. Find something inspirational and inviting today.

Dusty

Ka-Change

I don't like change. Do you like change? I mean in life it is sometimes inevitable. I have been contemplating so many things lately. For instance.. I have thought about changing my hair color. Going back to my roots. My hair is pretty dark naturally. But I know that when I change it I will freak out and spend more money to lighten it up because I know it will send me over the edge into tears. But I also know that it will be less maintenance. 

I want to change my kitchen. I want to paint the walls, cabinets and my island. I want to make my island a different color than the walls just to add character. But I am afraid it will not be how I want it and then I have spent the money and then I have to spend more money to redo it. I know it will be fine, its just the initial change of it. And this coming from someone who went to Interior Design school. You would think I would be changing my whole house every five minutes.

I want to change my blog name? Have any of you ever thought of doing this? I feel like I am at a place that I want to be more identifiable. Or taken more serious or something that is simpler. I have been giving this great thought, but then I think about all the changes I have to make. Buttons, business cards, social media sites, etc. And then I worry more about will people like it, will the follow me with the change? I am so indecisive about it. I really want my blog to grow. I really want it to be something everyone talks about. 

There are other things I am all up a rut with. My body, life, attitude.. just the normal life things that make me indecisive which is hard for me because I am not usually a back and forth type girl. I either like it or I don't. I either jump in feet first or I say you go first you twit. I don't know if its the blues or its just I need to just take a few leaps and become brave. 

Have you ever been like this? Just needing change so bad but afraid to do it? Would you follow me if I had a blog name change or should I keep it? It's just hair right? Ugh, see....

Thoughts welcome,

Dusty

Twits

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

And this is why I love Twitter.

Follow me HERE

Thank you Jen for this faboo convo!

Happy Weekend Friends,

Dusty

Cravings

With Spring around the corner, here are some of the essentials that I am craving. 

Jack Purcell Canvas Kicks

Big Face Watches (casual and dressy)

Pretty light weight dresses

Boyfriend Cardi's 

Basic White Tee

A pony and  Fedora

That tattoo on my wrist

What's your essentials for spring?

Dusty

Life's Like Leg Lifts

Have you ever just felt like a dump, frump, slum, glum, and anything else you can think of that makes you feel  blah. That's how I have felt the last two months really.  You all know I went to the doctor because I broke out in hives. Well, I now get to go see an allergist. High five myself. The other reason I went to the doctor was because I haven't felt worth a shitballs. Really, I have no drive to do much of anything except hole up in my house. I mean its not really that I don't do anything, I have a child who keeps me busy, but I feel invisible otherwise. 

I was telling the doctor that I have been working out and haven't lost a pound. Zilch. I am not over weight, but I am so out of shape and I have noticed that things are moving to the midsection. Me not likey. I can wear a muffin top proudly but when I start looking like a busted can of biscuits then I start feeling like an puff a lump. I feel bad. My insecurities take over and I don't feel good about myself. 

I talked to the doctor and I felt like she didn't offer me any advice. I mean my co-pay is $25 smacks and the insurance probably paid her $250 and all she could say is, "well, you know how long it took me to lose weight? Six months and that was walking a treadmill every single day." At that moment, I wanted to jab her in the throat. But that would not have been the right thing to do considering she's a one woman operation and there would be no one there to treat her wind pipe injury. But fantasizing is a great learning skill. 

So, she explained to me about the metabolism and eating every so many hours to keep it burning but I just feel like I am eating all day and I hate it. The only thing I want to eat all day is kettle chips. But apparently that's frowned upon in this establishment of the weight loss world. I bought some new DVD's and am fairly certain that Shaun T might be ready to fly right out into the world of free love which is fine with me but I want to see results. My operation bikini has went down hill and I now have enough of a collection of workout videos to make me at least be Jillian Michaels' long lost cousin. Maybe I should try her videos, but then again I want to live to see 42 as bad as that number sounds. 

So, what's a girl to do? How do I feel better about myself? How do I just accept that its just a funk and I will snap out of it? What do you do when you get like this? I mean for me its hard. I am the advice giver. I am the mother hen. I am the one who speaks the truth and give people the reality and yet, I feel like I have had no one to give me back what I need. I am not usually the blah blah girl, but it really makes me aware that yes, I can have the emotional and physical struggles just like anyone else. I just need a little lift. Life is like leg lifts. Some days you can do it and some days its too painful but eventually the strain goes away and you can get back to being spectacular. 

Happy Tuesday. Thanks for letting me share.. 

Dusty

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Life is not always a Smoothie

So, I am out of town for a few days and I come back and there is all this wild craziness about Google Reader and Bloglovin. Somehow, reader is going away and Bloglovin is where its at. If you ask me Bloglovin is always been where it's at. I love it, well, I love it when I am caught up not when it says I have 225 unread posts. But really people just do me a favor because I have no clue what Google Reader even is, just go ahead and follow me on Bloglovin here. (and I just typed bloglovin 5 times in this paragraph)

But really I got worse problems or had them. First, I bought new underwear. Yes, when the elastic starts turning into homemade rubber bands, it could be time to get something to cover all that territory. I get my new package of 6 and according to the size chart bought the size recommended. I get home, throw them in the wash, dry and take them out and I am fairly certain these will only fit a 12 year old. I don't know if they shrank or if I just really believed the chart process, but these could only be good for dust rags at this point. Oh, and whatever happened to all white undies? I like living dangerously and not having to color code my under garments. 

Second, I must learn direction.  I basically take direction like this.- go to first stop sign make a right, then follow that road until you see a big tree, turn left go just long enough and you will see a garden gnome on a fence post turn into driveway and go past big pond...you get the point right? So, I go to Orlando for a marketing summit and rent a car and off I go. Going to the hotel is fine and the rest is nothing but European Vacation. Round and Round I go..Look kids, Big Ben! Parliament! All I can say is thank goodness I left in enough time to get to the airport because I totally drove around in a circle trying to go West or was it East?

Finally, remember last week and my super delicious dupe boots I found. Well, Wednesday night while getting my outfits together and packing, I decide to try on my looks to make sure I have everything and I am not going to look hideous. Which in turn means I will probably look hideous. Any hoot, I put my left boot on and something was stick out in the inside sole of the shoe. I put my fingers down into it and feel two sharp, pointy objects. I realized it must have been shoe tacks. I called to see about returning them and here's the kicker they didn't have my size anymore. So, I had the option to return and get my money back but peeps, these shoes are more awesome in person, so Saturday morning I took them to a shoe repair shop and for $2 smacks he took the shoe tacks and staple out of the sole and I am one happy lady. But it screwed up my whole thought process on packing and my outfits. That one pair of shoes totally gave me the Debbie downers and I ended up packing nothing spectacular and mostly frump. Plus, it was colder there than in Tennessee. I froze my baguettes off. 

So there's my whole story. It's life a life lesson. Well, not really. I just realized that when life gives you lemons you make smoothies with something better than lemons. 

Dusty

The Big O

I am out of town to Orlando for a marketing summit meeting, but I am sure I will have a few stories to tell. See you when I get back! Until then here's a picture so you don't forget what I look like.

Make sure you miss me!

XO,

Dusty

Mission Complete

When I go on a mission to find something. I become border line obsessed. And it really is about anything in life. My friends tell me all the time I should be a private detective because I can find out where a dog takes a poop at 3 am if I set my mind to it. 

I for some reason have been into shoes lately. Mainly because I don't have enough just casual wear with jeans shoes but are dressy enough to still be cool and workable. If you have seen my Pinterest boards you will probably see my shoe pins. 

So, here is my muse. I really have been looking and admiring Jennifer Aniston's laid back style. I mean who doesn't love her or a least an outfit or two she's worn. I am traveling on Thursday and have been thinking of what I could wear that's comfy yet still get off the plane ready. I am going to a marketing summit in our Orlando office. It's a laid back atmosphere, business casual type of two days. 

I became obsessed with this outfit and these boots and recreating it to my best ability. Which meant hunting down these boots.

Source: m.coolspotters.com via Girls Love on Pinterest

Source: celebritystyleguide.com via Girls Love on Pinterest

Here's the kicker, the boots are called Azzedine Alaia Leather Lace up boots. These pics are from 2010 and these boots, hold on to your wad's were approximately in the $1000 dollar range. Can I get a big "F" that? So, I went on a mission.

That's right. Another Splurge vs. Steal. And guess how much my little steals are? A whopping $19.99 from Kmart. Pretty good dupe if I do say so myself. 

This private eye is on a roll for finding the deals and my outfit for Thursday's 6 am flight is complete. So what do you think, I did pretty damn good right? Mission Complete. You want me to find something...let me know. I am on it like a duck on a junebug.

Happy Wednesday,

Dusty

Around Town

I thought I would say Happy Tuesday. Then go right into the mumbo jumbo because we all ain't got time for anything else. Life is hectic. I read snippets of things here and there and think, what in the world. 

Celebrities provide me with much material to write about. They also provide inspiration through music, fashion or even their words. I mean whoever doesn't think that Lionel Richie didn't speak to them at one point or another is just high on fructose corn syrup. 

Everyone is all a buzz about the new Brandy Glanville book. If you haven't heard she's the chick whose husband had an affair with Leann Rimes. Now listen I love me some housewives no doubt. I myself most days have no filter but I also know when to zip the lips. Yes, I get it. I also know what its like to have been cheated on. Was I hurt? Yes, did I want to tell the world his penis had gross ingrown hairs and he secretly had a foot fungus, yes. But when you have children, you learn to shut your trap with class. This woman's children although I am sure loved by both parents, will get to read this and watch all of the things she is saying. And if you ask me the crazy one is her by opening her mouth every five minutes about it. Move on. She spoke the other night about having a threesome.. And so let me get this straight, you allowed another woman into your relationship and then was surprised he boinked someone else? Uh, I am confused. My point is, I can't imagine you were perfect seeing the way you act now has to be a glimpse of how you could be. I had to face the fact that sometimes it happens. You too are at fault. There was a breakdown. Did I deserve it? No. Relationships change. People cheat. It sucks. But there have been many people who took the high road in Hollywood... Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, Robert Pattinson, Jackie Kennedy and the list goes on. The truth is you are not any different just because of your zip code or status. But really class and your children's thoughts should be your first priority. You love them and will never say anything bad about their father yet you "write" it. Makes not a lick of sense. This is also a woman who said her vagina was damaged by her ex and had surgery on it. I am going to give you the southern Bless Your Heart. 

This Jodi Arias trial is the talk of the town. I honestly had no clue until last week who or what it even was. I live in a land of Disney Channel people. So I got a little caught up reading and watching. I am fairly certain I am lost. But let me see if I get it. This woman stabbed him over 30 times, slit his throat, shot him and then pulled his body to the bathtub and left? Oh, and the kicker it was self defense? Umm, let me know how this goes because that's just crazy talk. Self defense is you shoot, stab or hit then run away then call the police to help you. But then again, what is the definition of anything in our justice system anymore ie..OJ Simpson and Casey Anthony..point taken.

Kim Kardashian got a blood facial.. what a winner. That's about all I can say for that. Well, I lied. We all want to live a long time. We all especially women want to be wrinkle free, do what we can to preserve our youthfulness. But here's the deal..you dummy. You can stuff it and tuck it all you want. Your still going to get wrinkles. Your hands are going to show age, your going to get the droops. You can't preserve yourself forever and if you keep it up you will look like one of those Phantom of the Opera masks. It's life. I slap on the wrinkle cream and do my best to look good but the sad part is I don't' have a blue million dollars to nip and tuck and no matter what i do, I am still getting older. I have little age spots, little droops of skin and guess what? All I can say is thank you God for letting me be here to experience it. 

That's my around town BS. I wanted to speak my mind on the current events going on. I am certain I will be considered for a position on The View.

Happy Tuesday,

Dusty

I Took A Dump

Friday's here. I hope you all enjoy the weekend. This week has been one of those push yourself to the limit type of weeks. But a little reflections always brings me back to my center

Sometimes I get wrapped up with the

materials things in life

But

it's the beautiful creatures and my surroundings

that bring me back to reality.

Have a great weekend,

Dusty

Shoe Doctor

Last week I featured a pair of darling shoes. And yes they are $110 smacks. I still am greatly in love with them but I got so many emails asking me about them that I decided that us dudettes on a budget should have easier access on the wallet. So here's what the Tater Queen found for you. Oh, and your welcome!

The Splurge

Source: anthropologie.com via Girls Love on Pinterest

The Steals

Forever 21 - $25.80

Amazon $41.39

There are your dupes. Each of these come in another color as well. The top in Navy and the bottom in Gold. I bought the one's from Amazon and they arrived yesterday. I am fairly certain that if someone swipes my purse I will not be running after them, but I like the fact of now being 5'8" while wearing them. 

Happy Wednesday,

Dusty

It's A Fact Jack!

There are so many things I love about being southern. Although there is a great misconception. I am still trying to figure out why? I mean where else could you have Swamp People, Duck Dynasty and Honey Boo Boo? I can't see where people in other parts of the country would get that southern people are rednecks, do you? Jerks. 

I mean where else do people take a deer and make it into twelve gourmet meals. You have deer chili, deer stew, deer steak, deer spaghetti, deer roast, deer jerky and deer sausage. Kill alligators, squirrels, rattlesnakes and whip up some frog legs and we will claim it tastes like chicken. Bobby Flay my ass.

You go up North and ask for sweet tea and they look at you like popped a lens out of your Ray Bans. Believe me I did this once or twice. But if you don't have sweet tea in the fridge then its the Anti-Christ. Life as you know it is over. People with diabetes will soon die. 

Other parts of the country people eat their eggs with some dude named Benedict. Here we slap on some ketchup and gulp it up. I mean ketchup is the secret sauce in these here parts.

We can make a god damn pie out of anything. Apples, peaches, pears, cherries, chocolate, lemons, pecans, chess and dirt. And if there is a cook out instead of making it round, we might throw it in a 9" x 13" baking pan and call it cobbler just to fake you out.

If you ask people what the national anthem is they will tell you any Lynyrd Skynyrd song and stand up, take their hats off and more than likely have some obnoxious yelling in the background. It's our way of ad-libbing a song. I mean who really needs a song celebrating our country that you can't dance too. Have you ever tried to two step to the Star Spangled Banner? I think not.

We are also handy people. We take old school buses and turn them into fine homes. At one time or another it's every girls dream in the South to get past second base on a school bus, so daddy moved us in.

It's nothing if you lose a tooth, just means you can sip through a straw better. Seriously, it's called a tooth brush not a teeth brush. 

I have never understood the fight between the North and South. You mother fuckers up North win. Why? Because we are down here sweating our balls off killing alligators, whippin' up pies, honky tonkin', and decorating our new trailer on wheels with a confederate flag as a bed spread. You bitches are all frozen and preserved which kept at a slightly cooler temperature will be able to thaw in the spring and live to tell about it. We are all dead by then from massive heart attacks from doing all the above. We even make love in grease. 

Shi-yut people! I rest my case that the South will rise again.. Sweet Home Alabama. Where the skies are so blue..every one show some respect. Where can I sign up to work at the Chamber of Commerce?

Happy Tuesday,

Dusty

I Am Not A Bee

Monday madness. That's what the end of the weekend brings. How was your weekend? Mine was uneventful except, well, let me just tell the story. 

I woke up early Saturday morning because my 14 year old beast dog, Mille needed to go outside. She apparently has no sense of time because this is a frequent occurrence that she needs to crap at 3 am. You really have no choice but to get up if not she will bark and bark or she will just crap on the floor. I mean it sucks being ninety eight. 

I walked back to bed and began to itch. I thought maybe it was just dry skin. This winter has been a bitcharoo on my skin. So, of course I scratch. I finally go back to sleep and I wake up in the morning about 7 am and make coffee and clean up the kitchen a bit. I noticed my butt was itching and then my the sides of my torso, my ears and then the back of my neck. I chalked it up to a night sweat and needed a shower because people in their forties sometimes do this or it could have been that the temp in the house was 75. What can I say I was freezing my baguettes off. A couple of hours later I draw water to wash a few dishes. I start doing the woman duties and I noticed my hands were bright red. The water was hot but no different than usual. Then it hit, the itch on my hands almost drove me insane. The palms of my hands were bright red, blotchy and starting to swell. 

So I go to my trusty iPad and look up "red itchy palms" and it pops up, Hives. Say what? Hives! What the heck is that? I read further and then look at pictures. And low and behold it has to be hives. I got the hives. Like I had leprosy or something. As soon as I figured out that's what it was it was almost like a bug crawling all over you, I started to itch all over. Even my knee caps itched. I took a benedryl and it started to get better. But my hands still itched even between my fingers. Where or how did I get hives? I still haven't figured it out. It is either the laundry detergent which I have almost narrowed it down to that since I was folding clothes and my hands started to swell and get itchy blotchy again or it could be an antibiotic I was taking. I have no idea. All I know is I have been scratching like a flea infested hound dog and apparently the hot water makes it worse. I am almost to the point of asking someone to lift my hair and spread that flea guard liquid on my neck and down to my butt like you do an animal. 

I am going to give it about hmmm, another day and then its off to the doctor I go. Thank goodness it hasn't spread to my face nor have I had trouble breathing but I would pay a person $1000 dollars to use a wire brush to scratch my body. I can only pop so many pink pills because it knocks me out. And believe me, I am not producing honey from these hives. So, we will see. Here's hoping it goes away quickly. I don't want people to think I have the mange with all the scratching. Anyone else had these and can tell me a remedy..like quick?

Happy Monday,

Dusty

Hot Tamales

I know we get busy, visit a page and move on but today, please click one or two or all of these beautiful ladies on my sidebar and do what this blogging community does and show them some love. I am appreciative of their support. They are loyal, fabulous readers and so happy to call each of them friend.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for gracing my blog without reservation and hesitation. Thank you for blogging. I love reading your stories, sharing conversations and connecting with each of you.

The one thing that I take from this is the fact that we are friends. It is worth every single post, every click of a page, email, text and conversation that I have had with each of you. But I treasure your friendship. Each of you sharing a common goal of telling a story, sharing your lives with many people daily, yet we connect on different levels. 

Not all bloggers connect. We all don't have the same goals in mind, but I can't imagine any blogger not saying thank you to the ones that have touched their hearts and made them grow, a better person or learned if not one thing from each of them.

Today, my Hot Tamale FRIENDS, I say Thank you! So do your thing my friends, visit these ladies. The are the shit dot com.

Your friend,

Dusty