Merry & Bright!

Merry Christmas from my heart to yours! I hope your day is filled with love, happiness and all the things that fill your day with peace. My Christmas wish for you all is to find your soul full of hope and laughter.

I wish for all the furry animals a forever home, my child to always be a kid right in this moment for he will grow up so fast, to remember those that are in heaven and looking down still loving us, hugs and kisses.

Christmas is about old and new traditions and making memories to last a lifetime. Thank you to my forever friends from this blogging community. You have made me feel so special this year.

Merry Christmas!

Love, Dusty

Drop It Like It's Hot

Here's a little Merry Christmas ditty!

Smooth moves huh! Dat's right! We drop it like its hot up in hereah! I can't wait to open our new grills and my pinky fingernail with a diamond encrusted. For the kid, baggy jeans, white high tops and Gangsta English book!

Yo, let's start da season off right. Holla! Word to your mother!

Dusty

Hot Tamale..Jess Is More

So, its almost Christmas and this little gift, well you can just say thank you. She's the bomb dot com. See picture below which makes me LOVE her more. I have followed her on Twitter for a smidge and I dig her why? She's funny people and she is an animal lover. Big Big points! I see her one Lily and raise her a Libby. So if you don't follow her, you suck and your missing out. Do it!

Hey there!  Don't be alarmed, but the oh-so-amazingly-fabulous Dusty has asked me to creep all up on her blog today.  

I don't normally go around looking like this.  

But I'm keepin' it real today.  

That's one of the many reasons why I love Dusty's blog.  

I'm Jess, and I blog over at Jess Is More.  It's my little corner of the bloggyverse where I'm on a mission to do more {after I've finished at least 2 cups of coffee}. 

I'm a Florida girl {and half Cuban}, but this guy I call my husband is from the frigid north a.k.a. Minnesota -- which is where we call home.   Trust me, he is NOT as cool as he appears in this photo.  

We took the plunge into marriage on September 29, 2012 after dating for 7 (seven) years.

We are best friends.

He is the steak and potatoes to my beans and rice.  

My blog, just like my life, is a little bit of everything.  

I spend a whole lot of time talking about my fur babies.  

My yellow lab, Lily, even has a page dedicated to her shenanigans called "What Lily Ate."  Yep. 

I also post what I eat.  Only the things that are edible to others, of course.  

And don't come out of a takeout box. 

Because trust me, that happens a lot. 

I'd love to have you over some time.  You can stalk me here, here, here, and here. 

Thanks for reading! 

See HOT SNOT! Leave her some love over here, over there, everybody on the dance floor! Later!

Improvising Stinks!

I am typing this post from my iPad! Why you ask? Because I know you are curious! My computer is on the fritz! For some reason it is getting too hot and just shuts down. This has caused me much distress because I would like to think it is because I am smokin' and it just can't handle all the useless knowledge I produce. I know, I know. Delusional but work with me. I am typing this with one finger like my first day of typing class because my brain can't process pushing letters with both hands at the same time. I am also being subject to a repeat of WWE that is on the television because my son just did not get enough of the crap on Monday night and I can steal Internet from some one in my neighborhood. Thank you WiFi. 

So no pretty pictures of my fashion inspirations today because I have no knowledge of how to put pictures from my little computer bundle of joy. But hopefully I can figure out why my computer sucks the big flag pole and be back to the grind of pretty creations. 

Until then I am going to try and catch up on blog reading comments which also is a pain in the buttola because I am half blind and my eyes start to cross with the smaller pages. Oh by the way, I suck for being a non seeing, not so mechanically inclined individual that if forced to go the moon in a beanie weenie can would fail miserably only because I would eat the weenies and throw the can away. 

Okay so you see my point which is nothing. I am just trying to be funny. I think we need a laugh. Watch wrestling that's a laugh. 

Happy Wednesday!

Dusty

Words are Power

In light of the recent events on Friday, I am sure there will be a lot of blogs that will be writing their feelings on the tragedy that occurred in Newton, Connecticut. I actually have only watched portions of the coverage because as a mother myself, it is too close to my heart to endure or even fathom what the parents and community are going through, so I want to say this about it and let you ponder.

Watching the message of Emilee Parker's daddy talk about what a wonderful child she was was heart felt, but the one thing that stuck out was when he said, that his heart and his condolences go out to the shooter's family for he knows they are grieving and trying to make sense of this tragedy. 

How profound a message is that? That someone who's lost his daughter in this great sadness also knows there is another side that even though you want to blame, you grieve for they to are trying to make sense of it as well. 

I took away from that only a heart full of faith and forgiveness and that when we want to blame others when we are hurting, we sometimes just can't until all of the pieces of the puzzle fit together. A father, a family who lost something so precious reached out and said, you are hurting too. Powerful. That's the only thing I can write. Powerful. 

Think about that message because its deeper than you or I can probably understand.

Love,

Dusty

Hot Tamale.. Life's A Dance

Hot Tamale! Hot! Hot! I love fresh meat. I mean new blogs. I love new friends. I love that for Christmas I give you Stormy. She's gorgeous! In love with her soul mate and she's got a pretty schmancy blog. I am so happy to have her here. I know your going to want more. So, make sure you say hi and show her the love. 

 Well good morning ladies! How are you all today?

I'm Stormy and I blog over at Life's A Dance!

Let me tell you a bit about myself.

I'm a Wisconsin girl, born and bred. I love being
dressed up in heels and pearls but will jump in a waist deep mud pit to
rescue cows or ATV's if needed. Been there. Done that. No sweat. I
grew up in a city of 1,000 people and couldn't wait to leave. Now I'm
doing everything possible to get back. Funny how that happens ehh? I
am a Registered Nurse trying to find the specialty that's right for
me. I'm thinking babies, kiddos or mommas having babies. Right now I'm
working on a {crazy busy} medical floor and learning lots. I am also a daughter, a sister, and a brand new wife! That's right I recently tied the knot with the love of my life!

09.15.12 <3

  Best day of my life ever!

For more about our wedding head on over and 

keep an eye out for recaps! Never know when they'll pop up ;) 

The hubs and I celebrated our marriage with a week in the Mexican sand at The Valentin Imperial Maya in Riveria Maya, Mexico. 

Complete and utter bliss! We both didn't want to come home! We slept in an ocean front room-waking to the sounds of waves. We ate FAR too much food, soaked up tons of warm sunshine and enjoyed each others company. After the hustle and bustle of the wedding it's nice to be away and alone with each other! We loved it so much that we're planning on spending our 

first anniversary there as well!

  And now? We're continuing to adjust to married life back home. 

 Spending as much time as possible with each other, our family and our friends. Life is much more fun married though I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it's because we've gone and done more things in the past month than we have in the 4 1/2 years that we've been together. Strange right? But, one of our favorite things though is low key nights at home. Our couch, popcorn, a good movie and cuddles have been some of the best nights as of late. And of course these two like to get in on the cuddles as well: 

That's the duo that completes our little family. 

Macy is our yellow lab. She's four years old and is 100% laid back and mellow {as long as mom and dad are around anyway}. She could play fetch all day long and has an energy level that rivals a childs! NEVER ENDING! And her appetite? 

Much like mine...we eat, and eat, and eat, and eat.

 And the little one one the right? That's Millicent or Millie for short. She's 3 1/2 years old and a little spitfire. She's the head of the house and a diva for sure! That little girl will whine in winter if the heat isn't turned up high enough {and promptly snuggles in a ball the minute you turn it to her liking} and you'd better leave some room for her when cuddling or she'll be right up in your face {blocking the tv of course} until you make her some room. She's got the most unique personality I've ever encountered in a dog. 100% total diva!While there are times we'd like to scream they both bring loads of joy to our lives and make our {new} little family complete. And that is me in a nutshell friends. 

So, come on over and visit!

Bring a good drink {cappuccino and margaritas are my favs},

 kick back and relax awhile. I'd LOVE to get to know each and everyone of your pretty faces! 



And a HUGE thanks to Dusty for letting me invade her blog for the day

With loads of love

Blog  Twitter  Facebook

See bomb dot com. Go see her and leave her love here as well, if ya want. Remember Elf on the Shelf is watching.

Happy Thursday,

Dusty

The Purty Issue 2012

A few weeks ago I gave you the best of 2012 beauty. This week the Tater Queen is giving you what I found or find to be the best in accessories and shoes. 

Accessories

The bubble necklace - Good gawd I haven't jumped on this bandwagon yet, but everyone had this little bobble. In any color imaginagable. I shall endulge at some point.

Arm Candy- this year was all about the Mr. T starter kit. If you could pile it on one arm up to your elbow this was the ticket.

Michael Kors watch - I am sure that if you are a fashion blogger and loaded you had this watch. It is on my wish list, but in gold. I like the silver. 

Scarves - If you don't have at least 10 you better go get some. I have two hangers literally full. I personally like the homemade knit ones and my friend Lorraine is a master. I have about 6 she has made me and wear them constantly. Scarves are an any time of year accessory.

Michael Kors handbag - This has to be one the most pinned items on Pinterest. I would love it to be on my arm but I hear it sold out. Who cares! Find it and send it to me.

Shoes

Old Navy Flip Flops - Every color. You choose. Flip flops were a necessity this summer. I myself have four different colors.
Hooker Heels - Every woman whether you can walk or break your neck in them should own a pair of heels. I wear these with jeans and they rock. Thank you Lauren Conrad.
Converse - Trusty Chuck Taylors. I love mine. I have a blue pair and white is on my wish list. Fun is what these tennies are and cool is what you really are when you wear them.
Flats - I do not own a pair of Leopard flats. I have some wedges and they are pretty hot. But these were everywhere this year even in the winter the chicks are diggin' them.
Moto boots - Love Love Love!  You can dress these up anyway you choose. With leggings, skinny jeans or shorts. A little bit sexy and a lot rock n roll.

Hunter Boots - Did you really think I was going to let a post go without mentioning the best gift ever. Just get them. I don't care if you live in 110 degree heat. They are Hot Snot. And they just came out with the color mint. Ready Set Go!
Riding Boots - Everyone needs a pair of riding boots. These are on my wish list. These are a little pricey from Frye but riding boots with a sweater, a scarf and some jeans tucked in snug with some socks and you can't go wrong day or night.

There you have what I found hot this year and some things I wish for. Tell me what shoes and accessories you continued to go back to this year or in 2013.

Happy Wednesday,

Dusty

Giving is the Gift

I try my best to be a giving soul. Whether it be supporting my friends or to other people with gifts. I love the fact that you can give to someone and make them feel special. I do not always have the type of monetary expense for high priced things, but it doesn't matter. If you give something to someone it's from your heart and that truly is all that matters. The last two years I have organized the Christmas functions at my office. Last year after much thought whether to have a function at the office where we exchange gifts, I decided that even though I bitch and moan about my lack of salary in most cases we all do, I felt it was necessary to give back. After speaking to one of the girls in the office about my idea of the Angel Tree, she shared with me the joys of actually working for the organization; how it worked and it was a dunzo deal.

Last year, we gave to a lucky boy and girl the ages of six. This year it was the ages of seven. Researching which children to pick is heart breaking and you wouldn't believe how many children all over just your own state may not even get a Christmas present. The one thing that broke my heart is reading about how some of these children just wanted blankets for their beds. I wept. Here I set in my home with all my troubles that surround me, yet it seems so trivial to the outside world. Yes, I am still probably going to continue to be all funkified until I go through my stages of why, what for and how come? Yet, I think about it and these children do the same only in a different way. We believe in a tradition that if you are good Santa will come. These children believe it and yet may not receive it and then they wonder what did I do? To think that some of these children just wished for warmth like a coat or a blanket. Identified only by ID numbers and a first name. I can't imagine. Can you?

So, with all my heart I am not only pleased to organize such a simple task, but my co-workers helped and this year, we sent a box full of toys, coloring books, crayons, note pads, clothes and yes, coats for each child. I have a son. I know that I will always go without whether it be food, clothing or fun to see him provided for and the one lesson I teach him is that there are children his age that don't have what he has, so he is never to judge and to always share. That was proven this year when a child in his class didn't have money to buy a book at the book fair and The Kid spent his money to do so. I am most proud of that.

Santa will come this year for Janee and Corey. I only wish I could see their faces as they open their gifts. I only wish that their days become easier. I only wish that they to grow up and become Angel Tree donors and give back to an organization that helped them. I only wish them love and peace in their hearts. I only wish that their past doesn't dictate their future and they grow into beautiful adults. I only wish they be children with no worries just laughter. My wish is to always feel that all of us keep giving in some way. As a blogging community, we offer giveaways, free stuff and we sign up and take our chances at winning. How about reverse that and if you win give your gifts to someone who may need them. A struggling mother who may need a beautiful necklace for a job interview. A gift card to a deserving family who many need food on their tables or buy their own children just the necessities such as school supplies or pajamas. While I am not the most famous blogger on the internet but this is why I have a hard time participating in these things because I feel I am not worthy when I know there are other people that probably deserve it more than myself. I know all you bloggers out there just went, Dusty is twacked! It's free stuff dude! But it's true and I have said it to more than one of my blogging friends. 

Thank you to my co-workers for participating. Thank you to the Salvation Army Angel Tree Organization and thank you to these two awesome children. You have no idea who we are, but we wish you a Merry Christmas.

 and yes the damn tree is leaning

Happy Tuesday, make someone's day would ya for me!

Dusty

A Story As Told By..

Last night, we attended a Christmas program at The Kid's school. Part of the program was base on literacy and the kids had to write stories about their parents. This is what he wrote about his mom and dad......

-She is small.. (thank you, extra dollar allowance)

-She see's lots of birds (no clue)

-She can't find her boots. (hmmm)

-She tries to swing. (he knows I am not athletic obviously)

-She is cute and slapiy. (again, no clue. when i asked he said he can't read it)

-She feels like poo.

Yes, that's right. My kid wrote for the whole world to see that his mom feels like poo. I looked at him and said, "what an imagination you have." His teacher then intervened and said, "maybe he wrote that on a day you didn't feel well." I wanted to say, "do you think that I am just a total whackadoodle now? And I won't even tell you what he wrote about his dad. Okay, I will.

-Dad is strong.

-His back hurts.

-He cannot get up.

-It is unbowelable.

-He is not happy.

I don't feel so bad. Talking to his little friend who is from England's mom, he wrote, his dad was the devil. 

So there you have it, from one seven year old kid, to the whole world, thank you for announcing that your parents are apparently total whack jobs. But I do find this somewhat humorous.

Good gawd people, Happy Friday. 

Dusty

Hot Tamale..Mom Fitting It all In

Hot Tamale in the city! This beautiful lady is a hero! She's a mommy, working, raising children, fantastic wife and she fits it all in day to day. I swear I don't know how she does it and is gorgeous to boot. She loves to cook, she's a book lover and she gives the best advice. She is one to admire and everyone should get to know her. I am so lucky to say she's a friend.

Hi my name is Sharee' and I blog over at momFITting it all in. I am a mom, I am a wife, I am a full-time out of the house worker trying to FIT it all in while making healthy active choices for myself and my family. Everything I do - I do because I love my kids, my hubby and ME (a realization that is getting easier for me to accept). So come and join me on this journey. I am open to advice, ideas and laughter.

the hubster

the fanstic fam

Blog

So, go over and say hello and you can say hello here as well. It's Christmas and we want to show our spirit. 

Happy Hot Tamale Day, Dusty

The Big Three Zero Zero!

This is my 300th post. Can you believe it? Three hundred. For three hundred days, I have graced you with the biggest amount of bullshit one can dish out. And you still come back and still tell friends and I am amazed that I seriously have anything insightful to say which most days I don't. But like throwing a little dog a lamb chop, you understand my madness and to say I am grateful is an understatement. So with this big whopper of a post I thought I would give you another installment of Bleep Dusty Says. The last one I labeled "Shit Dusty Says" and like my milkshake it brought all the weirdo's to da yard. So here we go! 

Someone asked me what I wanted for Christmas and my answer was, "I looked in the Sears Christmas catalog and I don't see where you can order Carrie Underwood's legs. The catalog is a rip off."

After expressing my opinion on why I unfollowed another blogger because of a racist tweet, I summed it up by saying, "well, I couldn't handle her trailer park roots, she gave new meaning to ombre."

A co-worker called to see if any of our guys in the office participated in Movember. I said, "I found it discriminatory but I participated anyway. I seriously dulled my razor after one leg. The hair was so long I am sure the tattoo of my son's same started to include other letters of the alphabet."

We have two guys in our office named Joe. We refer to one as Asian Joe. Someone called for him and I was like huh? She said his first name which is something sorta unpronouncable. I said, "oh, yeah, that's Asian Joe." She said, "what part of Asian is he from?" I said, "hell if I know, somewhere with rice." 

"I don't care if my asshole grows bear fur, I will never getting another Brazillian wax again!" That was a convo about anal bleaching. Yeah, one thing led to another.

So, there ya have it. I know three hundred posts and that's all I got. I can tell you while I am typing this my dog just farted and it seriously stinks so bad, that if you want me to post 301 times, I must clear out. She's 14, her butt and breath both have the same scent. 

Shoot the confetti and blow the horns,

Dusty

A Cleansing Soul

Last week was not ordinary. I felt off. I couldn't wait for the weekend. Counting down the days felt like a million hours. I read blogs but sometimes couldn't find anything meaningful to say. Friday at 4 pm I am fairly certain I looked like the road runner and got the heck out of the office and bee lined it to pick up Ian like I do every day and we grabbed a bite and came home. I sat on the couch with the iPad and Pinterest'd my brains out. There is something about looking at stuff that makes me happy. Saturday, I watched football, ate some of my favorite things because I am starting a 30 day challenge and just enjoyed being at home. 

I have become somewhat of a home body. I feel claustrophobic if I get around a crowd of people. I don't know if its just I feel like everyone is thinking of what I look like, how I am doing, they want to ask but they don't, how's my life, blah blah. So, I avoid it. I am sure that will change but right now I am comfortable in my own little safe haven. 

Sunday, because my presh puppy Libby aka Lou Lou thinks that she's everyone's alarm clock got me up at 6 am. I went back to sleep and at 8:30 I arose from the bed, made coffee and thought about the day. Oh, and I decided to go outside my box and buy a new coffee creamer. I use milk, but with all the holiday selections thought it would be good to try the Salted Caramel Mocha. Total fail. I didn't like it. But I am going to try the White Chocolate flavor and if its not pleasing, then back to the regular- milk and sugar. 

At 9:30 am, I began to clean. The more I cleaned the more intense it became. I am one of those people that if I get upset or really mad I clean. I wasn't either, but felt the need after last week to just declutter. I washed all the laundry, folded it and put it away.  Like ALL of it. Things that have been in baskets for months. I mean socks became reunited with their mates. I love match making. I threw things away, cleaned my sons room top to bottom. Vacuumed until the floor couldn't be any cleaner. I was on my hands and knees cleaning the carpets of dirty spots and then hands and knees again cleaning the bathroom floors. For some reason, I found it freeing. A different kind of cleanse and not in a crapping my brains out sorta of way. I bagged up clothes to give to my cousin for her little boy, threw away things that were not mine but hey, shoulda took em when ya left, right? I swept and swept the hardwoods and with every stroke I felt better and better. I was also sweating my galls off (my new word for girl balls, you gotta grow a set sometime in your life.)

By 3 pm, I was worn out. I probably can't move today, but it honestly felt so good. The windows open, the fresh air, no sounds except the wind. Maybe it's a start of healing, maybe its the start of renewal or maybe I just needed to clean the damn house. Probably the latter, but I felt like I had accomplished something that I haven't in such a while. 

So, while everyone is juice fasting and swallowing fish oil to rid their body of toxins, I cleaned house. I am hoping this sets the tone for the rest of the month. 

What do you do to cleanse your soul? Read a book, meditate, set in a round room and count the corners? 

Happy Monday,

Dusty

Fun Follies

It's Friday and I would like to thank the cavemen for etching in stone the days of the week. Of course, I have no idea if they are the makers of our calendar but I suspect that it had to come from somewhere. This week has been a doozy. I have needed some laughter in my life. My mind has been all over the place this week. Like when I play jacks I forget to bounce the ball. I mean who really plays jacks not me. So, I went straight to Pinterest and found some ecards. These made me laugh out loud.

Source: someecards.com via Girls Love on Pinterest

Source: someecards.com via Girls Love on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Girls Love on Pinterest

Source: bdghostriderz.com via Isabelle on Pinterest

Source: nowserveme.wordpress.com via Liliana on Pinterest

Source: someecardss.tumblr.com via Laura on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Nikki on Pinterest

And finally,

Have a great weekend!

Dusty

Holiday Special

 Holiday Special 

Advertise in the month of December for only $5 smackaroos and get January for FREE! That's right who doesn't love free? 

Come be apart of the madness!

The 2012 Purty Issue

So the other night I couldn't sleep. Insomnia has the best of me sometimes and at 1 am I was watching Oprah and the episode where she gives away her favorite things at Christmas. No, I am not giving away this stuff but I thought it would be fun to let you in each week on what I found fantastico this year. We all see things or blogs and think, what products do they use, how do they do their hair, oh, I love that outfit and even though most of us link back to things its fun to share some of the personal things in our lives that we use or want in a 6 year old at Christmas kind of way. This week is Beauty and the in between. So here's the Tater Queens picks of 2012.

The Bombshell Sultra Wand - WISH LIST but at $130 smacks I will dream, but read the reviews on it. Amaze!

Beyond the Zone Noodle Head Curl Enhancer - said it once I say it again, the bomb for beachy waves. (side note..I used this Thanksgiving Day and Saturday my hair still had body to it).

Hard Candy Glamoflauge Concealer - Awesome coverup and cheap! A little goes a long way. Psst. Go 2 Walmart.

St. Tropez Bronzing Lotion - used this for years. It gives a perfect cocoa color not orange and they make this remover to get the yuck off your hands afterwards. 

OPI Nail LacQuer in I Brake For Manicures - I like dark colors on my toes and this is a must. A little black, a little dark gray and a little plum.

Urban Decay Naked 2 - WISH LIST - I have NAKED and love it so much I want to have the 2 palette.

Sephora Microsmooth Baked Blush in Guava Glow - I like this. A little pink a little peach and a faint glow. A little goes along way.

NYX Megashine Lipgloss in Nude Peach - I am a lipgloss fanatic. Sad and true I have probably over 40. But I have a few I always turn to and this is one of them. I LOVE this color and they are cheap like $5 bucks and Ulta usually runs a special buy one get another half price. Do it!

Revlon Photo Ready Foundation - I used to be a MAC girl but economy forced me try different things. I have been using this for about two weeks and I honestly love it. Smooth I don't look washed out in photos. Apply with makeup brush. 

Olay Anti Wrinkle Cream 2+1 Day Serum - I truly believe any woman at the age of 30 should start using some type of anti aging formula especially if you seek the sun. This is the bomb. Its light, smooth and fills in the creases. 

Olay Pro X Cleansing Brush - Yes, the Clarisonic is awesome but this is a cheaper alternative at $30 smacks and I alternate the anti aging wash with my regular deep cleanser because I have combo skin. I noticed a difference in a week.

Burberry London - My scent. I probably will never change. I love it that much.

Bath and Body Butter Warm Vanilla Sugar - I love this stuff. Not only does it smell devine, it is silky smooth and leaves your legs shiny for that cute mini or shorty shorts.

There you have it. My Beauty picks for 2012. Yes, there probably is a lot more but these are the one's that I go to and a few I wish for. Come back next week for more of my favorite things in Fashion 2012.

So what are your picks? I love stuff, give me the 411.

Happy Wednesday,

Dusty

linked up

I Thunk It

It’s just Tuesday folks. Plain ole day of the week with a letter T. My mind has been going like a Ferris wheel with a hamster on it. So I am going to just throw a few things at you. Like last week, if you are reading this again, then you survived the dodge ball blog of stupid. So here are some more things I felt I should share.

Twenty four days left until Christmas. Pretty exciting until my child informed me that he wanted an Xbox for Christmas. Whaaaaaaaaaat? You just got a Wii. But that was sooooo two years ago. So Santa, better be hookin’ Mrs. Claus out, dolla make her holla, because those things are expensive.

Have you ever noticed that people that get arrested for DUI never smile in their mugshots? How ironic is that? They were smiling an hour before they got arrested, didn’t have a care in the world, dancing on tables, fancy bar, good friends, cheap cigars and then the Debbie Downer. Wouldn't it be hilarious if someone just gave the biggest grin in the world. Cheeeeezzzz!!!!!!!!!! Like model posed for their mug shots? I would love it. Can someone please get a DUI and do this for me? Double dog dare ya.

Why do women need botox? I have found that if I eat half a bag of salted kettle chips within an hour, I am swollen up like a balloon. So people in Hollywood are wasting their money. Seriously, I know it’s hard for you to eat a morsel, but save yourself some money, gorge on a bag of Lay’s Potato Chips and you will look like a lion faced figure in no time.

So have you ever just been a crap head about things that really should not mean a hill of beans? Like I am one of those kind of people that have always said I have a list of about 20 people that I would like to go back and tell them just what I thought. To ex boyfriends to mean girls, ex bosses etc. Well, this weekend I was carousing Facebook and this guy that I went to high school with is now dating this girl and I seriously didn't recognize her because it’s been like 20 years. So I texted another friend to ask if it was her and sure enough it was. Then I looked at her and I studied it. And I seriously want to say, “oh, look daddy’s rich girl, little miss homecoming queen, who has two kids by two different baby daddy’s is puffed up like a blowfish! Whopper with Cheese.  Little Miss Holier than thou can’t find the perfect mate after 20 years, give it a few more and you’ll have to go outside the community to find love?” There is nothing that gives me greater pleasure than to see girls that were serious little B’s to me or my friends not have the most perfect life and then on top of it too see that all the money in the world apparently can’t buy them enough material to buy a whole coat. I feel sorry for him when he takes her out to eat, she takes the word buffet seriously. Ugh!  Isn’t that the most awful thing in the world? I know. Terrible thoughts. Well, I mean really don’t give me that crap, you have thought a time or two about someone even skinnier or prettier. But then I realize that my muffin isn't all its cracked up to be and my life isn't as perfect and sometimes all the riches in the world can't buy you love.

Well, that’s it. I am over it. Another day. Probably the longest week ever after the time off. But it is what it is. I mean look on the bright side, jail is a terrible option for a hypocritical down and out homecoming queen.

Happy Tuesday,

Dusty

Turkey Wrap It Up

Thanksgiving came and went. I thought I would be a pig but I decided to wear these jeans that were a little tight thinking it would detour me from gorging myself. It only caused my muffin to bulge a little more to make the button on my pants dig into my stomach and make for an uncomfortable ride home from my mothers. Way to go reverse psychology. Loser!

But it was a good day considering my situation and I have so much to be thankful for. So, I wrapped up the holiday with four days off from work which seemed to not be long enough and got into the holiday spirit.

Friday kicked off the decorating of the tree. I love my tree. It always makes me happy for the season. It's a hodgepodge tree and I have a whole story about it, but that's for later. I also love my little reindeer, Ralphie, Finn and Hazel. I will beat a dawg down over these little fellas. They are my DON'T TOUCH just look decor.

Then Saturday night was topped off by a good ole fashion dance party. That's right. I love a good dance party. When Ian was even smaller I would play CD's and we would dance like crazy just randomly. I can remember swinging him through my legs like we were at a good sock hop. My cousin Rachel and her kids came to the slumber party, it was great fun. Well, all except four screaming, eventually fighting kids proved to be maddening. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

That's right. Moves Like Jagger. My cousin ran out and bought Just Dance 3 for $7.99 at Best Buy. She and I decided to do the LMFAO Party Rock Anthem and by the time we got done I thought I needed to shuffle to the ER. We high fived each other for making it all the way through it and collapsed. I made my famous bread bowl. It was delish and that little turkey was made with love. 

All and all it was a great holiday. So great in fact I thought I would let you see for yourself the moves on these kids. Here's a little Funkytown. It's only a minute long. Enjoy!

Hope your festivities were splendid! Bring on the Santa baby!

Dusty

Gobble Gobble

Happy Turkey Day Friends
from
All of us at GLFP
which means there's just one of us
well me n the Kid

Have a great day of thanks and bring on the fat pants!
Dusty

Charlie's Angel

Did you know that there are 427,000 beachy wave tutorials on Google? Don't fret. You're not going to get a Live ass tutorial from me. Because I speak in 16 syllable intervals, a 2 minute video would turn into a half an hour. But since several of you have asked me about how I do my hair, I will try to sum it up. 

I myself sat one Saturday for hours and researched these such tutorials. Then this one on Makaila's blog appeared and became a life savor. I have naturally curly hair. It's beast like, but I straighten it most days because I am a lazy heifer.  But if I go out this is how I usually do my hair. Charlie's Angel fighting crime like.

But my secret because I live in the south with the humidity is this shitz right here (hold on it's coming). It works on curly or straight hair, thick or thin hair and it smells delish.

First, I blow dry my hair without any brushes or combs using only my fingers. Then I twist it into a bun at the base of my neck with an elastic and hold it for 15 minutes (or until I finish putting on my war paint). 

Then I spray my whole head and some individual strands with Beyond the Zone Noodle Head. This is the bomb dot com! It holds every wave in place and I can get up the next day and it's still curled although a hot mess.

Beyond the Zone Noodle Head link

Then because I was born a poor white child, I made my own clampless curling iron with a 1 inch iron I had. How? I just popped off the the little brackets that are held together by a spring. Yep, two seconds and I became the poster child for DIY and had my own redneck styling tool. Honey Boo Boo's mom take note.

I wrap sections around the curling iron and hold for 20 seconds. The key to my style is I do alternating directions holding the iron vertical some wrapped away from the face, some wrapped forward all the way down the barrel, holding the ends free. I do not touch the waves unless I need a little touch up.

I then take a little hair spray and spray all over, get dressed, then take my hands and make it messy, pulling my fingers from the roots up. I spray it with professional hold hair spray, not a lot but enough in the back because my hair is heavy and tends to lose curl in the back first. 

I like this because it's not perfect like me. And I am lucky because my hair will do anything. And the kicker is, this takes about 10 minutes.  So go check out the tutorial over at M's, get the Noodle Head at your local Sally's Beauty Supply or even order it, remember redneck curling iron and you will be joining me as the 428,000th blogger who has explained the art of beachy waves.

Until next time, I gotta go see Bosley and talk to Charlie now. I hear there is someone trying to rob the Piggly Wiggly of all the turkeys and I need to save the day for Thursday.

 Happy Big Hair people,

Dusty