Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Posh Spice A Size Zero..get outta here!

Hope everyone had a great weekend. As fun and busy as it was I found time to go through my smut mag's to find funny stuff. You know like my "What's in my bag" post. Any hoot, I came across one that said "Victoria Beckham is a size zero post baby" and showed a pic. Of course, I studied it and looked at it from every angle and I see that she probably is a size negative zero. Here is my take on this.. Really? Really. A size zero, two weeks after having given birth to a watermelon? First, I was 120 pounds before I had my son. I weighed over 160 pounds when I had him due to some mystery condition they couldn't figure out. I mean what did she eat when she was pregnant and don't tell me she ate this healthy diet crap. I consumed enough pancakes, eggs and cereal to feed a third world country. A hot ham and cheese sandwich was a victim at any local Sonic restaurant. I think they new me by name and my love of cony dogs was well, an obsession of sorts. I basically looked like they Freed Wille.

So, it took me about a year to get back to 130 and a life altering experience to be back at my ideal weight of 119 and this woman eats grass and wheat germ and weighs 6 pounds. Don't give me its genetics and don't tell me breast feeding is the key. When i was prego, someone told me to not breast feed and my bubbies would stay big. LIAR! The only time they were big is when my milk came in and I stood in front of the mirror crying because I had porno boobs. Those soon went away into little jiggly things called plums. Pahleaze...

I mean what's the secret? A mango tango dirt colonic? Crickets covered in Sensa? Exercise consisting of shopping at Bloomingdales? Well, I guess if I had 70 blue million dollars I could have someone prepare my daily meals of blueberries and oatmeal and lift my legs into a leg press for me. But I don't. I also don't think that its ideal to print something like this for other mother's or even women to see. But I also find it interesting because the only thing on my body that's a size zero is my left big toenail. Who is a size zero nowadays and why is it acceptable? Why don't they print "Victoria Beckham out and about town with her beautiful baby" or Posh Spice takes a walk" (with her $6000 dollar running shoes on.) 

My point is, what is acceptable and what's not? Of course this article isn't her fault. We all have to write about something. I have no idea but I will continue to eat a loaf of bread for the sake of all women with junk in their trunk! Bread Rocks!

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