Friday, August 31, 2012

I Took A Dump

After two days of recovery from minor surgery, I thought Friday would be a good time to take a photo dump. You know, happy pictures.

Oh, hello! It's me and the fedora

Looking at you beautiful peeps from up above

Having a few drinks

With a handsome man

It's my idea of heaven

Now here's the 411. Does anyone take their own picture and wonder if they look cross eyed? My view from our first ever pro football game at the Tennessee Titans. We had executive suite seats thanks to Duh's work. Free everything! A beautiful surprise from Mrs. Independent - love you. The love of my life who for his own life cannot take a picture without making a funny face and Gelato, thank you Italians! You eat this and will not ever eat regular ice cream again. Well, you might its a little pricey but worth it. I threaten my household with death if they touched it.

Again, thank you August sponsors and if you would like to sponsor, check out my sponsor page at the top. 

Happy Friday!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Tanks Easta Bunny

I would love to say thank you to my August Sponsors. This month has been a root toot! September is going to be even better with new feature product posts, giveaways in which sponsors earn extra entries by just being a sponsor and more. And I am a cheap date!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012


It's time for Tater Queens Fashion Inspirations. I am a girly girl. No doubt. This weekend I was a pinning Pinterest beast. Here is what I would be wearing if I lived near an H&M and had a blazillion dollars.I am so ready for fall. 

I love this sweater

Source: via Girls Love on Pinterest

With this shirt underneath
Source: via Girls Love on Pinterest

These Flair Jeans (I love Flaired Jeans thank you 70's)

Slip on these shoes

And this little gem (In love with this)

And there is my first fall hoorah! Thank you H&M for not retailing your store close to me because then I would be broke. But I love the bracelet. Sometimes its just the littlest touch that adds a little priss. 

Do you have your fall on? That was supposed to sound gangsta. Total fail.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Mom's The Word

My kid, who I don't really write about alot on here because I am still a little paranoid of pervs, is a character. He looks like me and has a great sense of humor. The greatest thing about kids from the age of 5 to 8 is you can pretty much get them to do anything. 

I bought the Zumba DVD's a few years ago and told him to learn all of the routines and he could exercise with me. Two hours later, I sat on the couch watching him, drinking sweet tea and laughed at him doing the booty circle. Sucker!

So I thought it would be funny to let you in on some of our conversations. Take note. It takes special mom skills to have these conversations. They leave you literally speachless sometimes. 

I asked Ian "what did you have for lunch?" He says "pizza, chocolate milk and what are those green bean things?" I say, "green beans" he says "yeah that's it."

Driving one Sunday Ian says " mom look at that cow what is he doing on top of the other cow?" my reply.."forming a conga line." ohhhh", he says.

Not long ago, Ian was being sassy so I told him that if he didn't stop it he was going to lose his teeth. He said, "you can't do that mom, I will look funny". I gotta find some new empty threats that one didn't work.

Coming home from eating out, I notice he hasn't really said anything in like 15 minutes. He gets in the car and says, "Dad can you hurry up?" Why Ian? Cause I gotta take a shit". 

"Mom, hurry come in here and look in the toilet". I run into the bathroom "What? Are you okay?" Yeah, look at these birthmarks I left!" I think he meant skid marks.

"Mom, when will I get hair under my arms?" Me: "I don't know about 13, Why?" He says because I am pretty sure I am starting to grow a beard." Me: Huh? Arms and face go together?

Ian asked the other day how old my grandmother was. I told him 83. He said, "how many is that in dog years?" I said, you don't measure a person's age in dog years in which he replied "then how old is she?" 83! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And finally this one just last week. We went to our first ever Tennessee Titans football game. The cheerleaders at one point went out on the field to do a dance and ...

Jokingly, I told Ian I was going to be a Titans cheerleader in which he replied "first off mom you can't be 40 years old." He's now grounded for 2 weeks.

Happy Tuesday,


Monday, August 27, 2012

Makes No Sense

My weekend was filled of just stuffs. But more on that later in the week. You know how my brain works and today is no different. I call it my ponderings. So, without further waste of space lets get to it.

Do you ever wonder why it is that we brush our teeth in a room where we go to relieve our bowels? The other day I was in the bathroom at work. I could here this woman come in and she turned on the water. When I came out she was brushing her teeth. I was thinking why in the world would you brush your teeth in a public place where people drop the kids off at the pool? Kind of gross now that I think about it. From here on out I may just clean my sparkles in the hallway at home.

Have you seen the commercial for the No! No! It's an electronic devise that is supposed to take the hair off your body and reduce your shaving to a minimum. I think I would call it Yes! Yes!

Why do we label some models Plus Size? Why not say I am a model, arrange the clothes as retailers do beginning with negative zero on up and be done with it. People get so offended in this world with labels, yet you won't find one geometrically generous woman have a problem being called a Plus Size Model. Maybe the term "model" and money come into play.

Why do these stupid people on Wheel of Fortune spend all their money buying vowels? Here's the deal...THEY COST MONEY, dim whits. That's a minus. So if you have $5,000 smacks and you have a phrase with 10 vowels and you solve the puzzle, then you become the dumbest player ever. You now have $250 smacks left.

Do men wear girlfriend jeans? Women have jumped on the crazy trend of boyfriend jeans, but do you think a guy would wear girlfriend jeans...oh, now I get it, they are called skinnies. Just Say No. Nobody wants to see a WWE wrestling match. 

Ok, so, there you have it. Pondering once again. Hope your day is filled with useless thoughts.

Happy Monday,

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Happy Birthday to ...


I am so going to probably get my buttocks kicked for this, nah, she loves me. I want to wish the M over at Distinctly M the happiest birthdays ever. She has been such a great friend, supporter and confidant and not just in blog land. She's beautiful, funny, a hero momma and I love her to pieces because she inspires me every day. I will always be her biggest fan! Go over and say Happy Birthday. Plus, she's two hours behind me, if you do it before eastern time then she will have no clue I sent you.

This is for you Makaila. A little Funky Cold Medina party throw back to get you started!

Love you, that's all!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

What's Your Fancy

Its Wednesday and that means another Tater Queens Fashion Inspiration. In the everyday world, we all have our go to pieces. Mine is jeans any day of the week. My second is a hat. I have over 20 hats and its growing. I believe that if you need just one accessory on days when you feel like your outfit is missing something, its a hat. Plus, it's great for bad hair days. And finally, a little lip gloss makes me feel complete. You would probably be ashamed at my lip gloss collection. I am always in search of the perfect pinky peach. 

Here are some outfits that would be in my circle of everyday, go to picks that are also perfect for the fall season.

Now if someone could just buy me the whole outfit in the last picture, I would kiss ya on the lips or find me a vest similar that doesn't cost a blazillion dollars like this one does. Thank you Lindsay for this picture and Pinterest for letting me store into memory and relive it knowing I can't afford one piece.

So what are your go to pieces? Ready, set, go!

Happy Wednesday,

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Happy Joy Joy

Sometimes there are things that I think about that don't always make sense but make me smile. Thoughts of the utterly stupid that make me go hmm and simplicity of things you never imagine. Here is all that and a bag of chips.

1. Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Me neither. I am not even smarter than a 2nd grader. My son brings home school work and I am like, maybe a tutor would suffice. And besides those questions they ask on that stupid show are for adults not prepubescent boys and girls. They should be worried about hair placement on their bodies at this age.

2. I got to hold a pot bellied pig this weekend. Oh, the sweet joy of it. He nuzzled up under my neck and rooted on my shirt. It was love at first sight. I see one in my future along with the donkey and lambs. Although I was rubbing his belly thinking he had a little belly button and it was where the pink thing comes out. Obviously, I need to learn pig anatomy. I should ask a 5th grader.

3. New adventures are the best feelings. I am currently researching a new path in my life and I hope that it works out for if it doesn't I will dust myself off and try plan B. Until then I am slightly doing the Pee Wee Herman dance. It will take me a year but hell what's 365 days? Just another Christmas season. 

4. I love all of the conversations I have through this blog via email. I received an email the other day from someone that said, "I love your blog. I think you are possibly the Chelsea Handler of he blogging world."  I could take this two ways, so I choose to think that was an awesome comparison. My blog could probably get a lot more in depth, but I like it just the way it is. 

And lastly, did you know that your ears and nose never stop growing? Schpff, me either. So in 20 years I will be Pinocchio and Dumbo combined. Now that's a great Disney story.

Happy Tuesday, what's making you happy?

Monday, August 20, 2012

I am a Robot

Some days I feel like a robot. Everything seems to be the same routine day in and day out. Instead of feeling like Judy Jetson I feel like the mechanical maid, Rosie. Although that little rug rat is pretty cute with his futuristic hat and crazy dog, life just isn't that way. I wonder what she got paid with? New batteries?

My week always starts the same and ends the same except with a few bumps in between. I rise and shine every day, shower, make coffee, get up the kid for school, finish getting ready, feed the dog, tell my son to get ready 25 times, then out the door with me telling him 26 times to turn off the TV. Drop him off, hit the interstate for work, off at 4 pm, blah blah blah, bed time, repeat. It's Groundhog day literally. Remember that movie?

Then comes the weekend. I can't wait for Friday then I come home to the reality that every thing I basically neglected during the week has to be done on the weekend, like laundry. I usually start laundry on Friday and fold it all on Sunday but I am trying to process why 90 percent of the items are of the male gender and 10 percent is female?

Seriously, Duh has 24 pairs of underwear and how is it in 7 days he can wear 18 pairs of them? My son has 15 pairs of socks, yet by Friday I can't find two that match. I don't want to hear the sock monster theory. I have checked for monsters, they don't come to my house for fear of being put to work. I got asked on Saturday if I had cinnamon buns for breakfast. What do I look like, a New York Deli? Let me crap two cinnabuns for you. You want cream with that coffee? Mom, I want toast and jelly. No butter, cut the crust. Really? Yes, Lord Vanderbilt, let me see if I got your order correct. Did you say no butter? And would you like that on a silver platter or shoved up your nose. Oh, and yes, I will only fill your glass half full of Sunny D. Why the hell would I think that you get all of your vitamins in a full glass or orange juice. How stupid of me. 

Honey, have you seen my black shirt? Which one? You know the black one. Hmm, out of the 55 black ones you have can you be more specific hossgrinder? I don't think I can figure out exactly what your talking about. Oh, mom, do you know that Andrea's birthday party was today? No, who's Andrea? Her party is at the jumpy place? And your point is? Well, she sent an invitation. Oh, and where is the invitation? In my book bag. Yes, child that I birthed. I have the inapt ability to read your mind. I knew the invitation was in there. So dumb of me. Guess what? Because I forgot, you get to enjoy the party in your dreams. Tell Andrea when you see her Mommy says happy birthday, hope it was everything she wanted and more. 

So, not only am I a robot, I am the hired help, mind reader, cook, chauffeur, dog walker, and whatever else you want to throw in there. Do you ever feel like your little Miss Do it All? I just figured something out. I am a prostitute and a free one at that maybe I should have married Fred Flintstone. 

Happy Monday,

Friday, August 17, 2012

Shit Dusty Says

I would like to thank the Academy for getting me through this lazy week. I have been unmotivated to do much of anything except eat kettle chips. Last night, the alien's decided to invade my butt hole and I thought for sure that praying to baby Jesus would help, but apparently you gotta get a little higher to the source, so I consulted the doctor, Preparation H. From 3 pm until about 9 pm, my region saw more bullets than the Bronx. I believe it could be time to consult someone in an alleyway with a knife and some whiskey. Shit Dusty Says.

I did manage to have a great guest post this week over at The Pink Growl. Go over and read it. We should support our guest posters. How else do we find friends and support each other? And you can see what I mean by "critters all up in my glitter". Shit Dusty Says.

Then there was this outfit post that I promised all my bloggers. You guys chose a great outfit to recreate and I did my best impression of being a garden gnome. But from the bottom of my heart thank you for every kind word. Shanna and MaKaila talked me into this, by that I mean insisted and I conquered a fear. I may do it more often and my closet would need to increase in value, but I am not rich, if I was I would be a fashion blogger. Shit Dusty Says.

Did you know that I recently came to the conclusion that Thursday is the bastard child to Friday. Shit Dusty Says

So, Friday is here and hopefully its a good weekend. I hopefully will be refreshed for next week. Thanks to all my new followers and smile it increases your face value. Shit Dusty Says!


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Supermodel No!

Memba way back a couple of weeks ago when I was ate up with the dumbass and decided that I wanted all my lucious followers to vote for their favorite outfit and I would recreate it as my first ever outfit post? Huh, do ya? Well, if not here was the winner, not by a landslide but pretty close to it. 

And here it is my version of this picture. Please be kind. This is me, in the heat, a dog poop filled back yard, getting ate up by chiggers, sucking in my muffin top trying to do this thang.

biker bitch jacket: JCP for my birthday
hat: Old Navy sometime last year
jeans: Levis a blazzion years old
tshirt: Ross so three weeks ago
Shoes: yes, two pairs, Chuck Taylors and Mary J's who knows where from
jewls: necklace from the kid and bracelets and earrings I forget

I'm no Jennifer Aniston that's for sure and the last picture is what I really thought about it. And there you have it. My first ever outfit post. This supermodel shit is alot of work. I tip my hat to all those that do it every single day. Once a week would be good enough for me.

Happy Wednesday Cindy Crawfords,

linked up the pleated poppy

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Ambulance Chaser

To say I suck is an understatement. I didn't have a blog post yesterday. Why? Because my weekend was jam pack full of nothing. The only thing exciting was the kids baseball game in which they came back from a 12 to 6 deficit to win. I feel so honored that the coach asked me to keep the scoring books but I think it was only to keep me quiet during the games. Total fail! Jokes on him. He obviously doesn't know that I am a multi-tasker. Most obnoxious team mothers are. Other than that, I took the pictures for my first ever outfit post. You will have to wait for that on Wednesday. I watched a lot of TV on Sunday. Matter of fact that's all I did. I exhausted all my efforts on Saturday, so I felt like a worm eating a dirt sandwich. 

While on my TV I got lazy butt marathon, I kept seeing this commercial about trans vaginal mesh. Some lawyer is advertising that if you have had complications from a botched trans vaginal mesh surgery to call him, that you may qualify for compensation. Huh? First off, I don't even know what it is, but its sounds funny to say. What does it do? Catch crotch critters? Maybe it is a protectant. The vagina's own soccer goal and there's a little goalie down there trying to block pieces of straggly toilet paper or fuzz balls. This will not work if you go commando.

Maybe its a barrier to the male species that he is entering the no dong zone. Maybe this surgery involves spider man and he shoots a web to hold all the body parts up. That's kind of creepy. Spider man with his mask hookin' up the wassa. Holla!

Side affects include painful intercourse and incontinence. What is that? It's funny spell check wanted to change it to ignorance. So your vagina suffers from ignorance and it needs a heavy duty band aid. I know a few times in my life my vagina has suffered from ignorance. I think that's where the phrase "everybody looks good when they are drunk" comes from. 

I wonder if the ambulance chaser slash lawyer asks for proof of your trans vaginal mesh? Perv. But hey, cash is cash. Might be an alternative to giving blood if your low on dough. 

Do you see where I am going with this? I have lost my mind. Crazy. Once again I have bestowed upon you my useless knowledge but in this case I can't even give you a clue as to what it is. All I can think is maybe its one of those things like you hit in badminton. Ooooh, damn I am good..a new Olympic sport. I think the only way you will win is if you play doubles. 

Happy Tuesday, 
I am going to research poop shooting now, 

Friday, August 10, 2012

The Message

The London Olympics are almost over. I have watched faithfully, screamed, cheered, cried and been inspired. I can think of so many moments of great, but only this one will forever make me remember what life is all about.

Oscar Pistorius isn't an American. He didn't represent our country, yet I found myself honestly cheering for this Olympian and not because he's a double amputee, because he represents the courage that every human being no matter what their life brings them should embody. I do not feel sorry for him for not having his legs rather I embrace the fact that even because I have two I could have never have done what he has. All he wanted was to compete. A dream to live as a runner, to be treated just like his other team mates and athletes at the games. 

I think that whatever he does in his life, he's happy. We all dream and along the way we want the respect of any individual not because we are handicap but because we are man and woman of equal parts heart and determination.

When another runner exchanged his number and patch, it was a sign of respect. I think that, yes winning at that moment would have been everything. But we don't always win do we? Respect, I believe gets you farther in life.

So my message is clear. If ever one day the kid looks at me and says I can't. After I bitch slap him into oblivion, I will show him these pictures, tell him to read this story and say I CAN for myself alone because mama didn't raise no quitter. S-N-A-P!

Be inspired by courage of any kind.
Happy Weekend,

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Hot Tamale ..Pink

When I grow up, I wanna be just like her!

I'll never be this cool, but 
A girl can dream right?
*If you wanna be a Hot Tamale, give me a shout, or I just might ask you anyway.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


I can tell you that when you look up grateful in the dictionary I am pretty sure my picture is beside the definition with a big cheezer grin. I have made some of the greatest blog friends. People that understand my sense of humor, my sarcasm, my funny yet sometimes crazy comments and still come back, visit and email me. I am beyond thrilled that at a time in my life have been blessed to have found some wonderful people. 

I seriously hit the mother load the last two weeks. I mean if I didn't know any better I was crowned tater queen. So with the pageant wave, kisses blown and thanking the judges I give you my friends who actually think I am cool. And if anyone tells them any different I am going to bring out the effing numbchucks.

From Justyn my long lost sissy. What she doesn't realize is when we finally meet, she's going to get the biggest hug and then we are going to drink Sangria until we puke.

This was the best gift last weekend. I had the crappiest day and just when I doubted myself this came in the mail. I love that Shannon, she sure gets my craziness and wants me to be just who I am. My road map is going to find my way to her one day.

Then this little white box came I opened it up and what the crap. My very own Mr. T starter kit. Did I hit the jackpot? Tabitha when I land in Portland because I will no doubt. I have all kinds of peeps I am gonna visit there, you are on my list. She and I have the same sense of humor. It's two twisted for color TV.

They say good things come in small packages and I believe its true. From the bottom of my heart, thank you friends for making me feel so special. I mean it. And to all those that email me and I share my life with on a personal level, thank you. I am having the time of my life with you all. Pinkyswear!


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

L 7 Wienie

So as much I try to think I can do everything, I can't. I would make out a bucket list but then I would fail miserably at it. I could make a list a mile long and probably accomplish a quarter of it. Honestly, probably not even that. I make lists or get ideas in my head and I say Yes I can and then I really don't.

Here are somethings I cannot do. And please don't unfollow me because this makes me any less of a Wonder Woman.

1. I cannot fry an egg. Seriously, I can scramble the crap out of them, but if I try to fry one it always breaks, yolk every where and inevitably its the last egg left and so there can't be a re-do. I suck!

2. I cannot parallel park. Danger Danger. If I even remotely think there is no other place close enough but than to do so, I swear I will drive around in a circle until someone leaves. It seriously ends up like the movie European Vacation and me saying, "Look kids, Big Ben, Parliament."

3. I cannot hock up a loogie. I have tried. I will gag myself before I force snot in my mouth and spit it out. If you told me I had to spit and/or blow snot rockets or die. Get out the horn and start playing Taps.

4. I cannot do shots. By that I mean tequila shots or of any kind. They go down that street and come right back up. Although I think people have mad talent skills to be able to consume 10 at a time. I don't envy anyone that does it because I know they will have that two way street about 2 am when the room starts spinning.

5. I cannot spell "absolutely". If it wasn't for spell check I would miss spell it every single time. I try but at 40 is it really necessary?

6. I cannot paint my finger nails. I can do the left hand but cannot paint the right. I try but it ends up all over the sides of my fingers. I am not ambidextrous (I had to spell check that word too).

7. I cannot tie a cherry stem in a knot. I have tried. I gagged, hocked up a loogie and almost died. 

Happy Tuesday friends, what can you not do?

Monday, August 6, 2012

Dork Douche

I must live in a land of stupid. Seriously, for someone who is pretty observant to my surroundings, I obviously have dork like tendencies. I am the type of person that can walk into a room and make mental notes of everyone there. I used to be fantastic with names but as I have gotten older if you ask me what someone's name is I will make it up. Many of my friends have been victims of this mad skill I have. I once had a friend ask me who someone was. I told her Dorothy. She went up to introduce herself and the lady said, I am sorry but my name is so and so. Oops. I am sure I got called a few names after that but all was forgiven. Its just my nature to do that kind of thing. Fun times.

So, even though I can tell you what "Dorothy" had on that night, I am not as observant of some things. Like the "Call Me Maybe" song. I knew there was a viral video going around with the Olympic swimmers and a viral tweet with other's repeating lines of this song, but did I get it? That's a negative. I just this weekend looked the video up and saw what all the hype was about and what do you know, the song was stuck in my head for hours after that. Dorkdouche moment #1.

Setting in the Mexican restaurant Saturday night, I was looking at the menu searching it high and low for a beef meximelt. I am thinking where are the beef meximelts? I look and much to my surprise, there are no beef meximelts because those are served at Taco Bell. Then I began to think what Mexican people think of Taco Bell. Do they like their food? Do they think its authentic? Could we have a beef meximelt challenge between Don Panchos and Taco Bell? I ordered two soft tacos and double refried beans. I came one waitress visit away from asking where they were located on the menu though. Dorkdouche moment #2.

I also pretty much solidified that I must be lactose intolerant. After drowning my sorrows in a hot fudge Sunday from Sonic. I got a rumble in the jungle. After 15 minutes, not only did I drop the kids off at the pool, I realized I dropped off the whole swim team. But I knew this would affect me this way so why in the sam thunder hell would I order a mound of ice cream topped off with chocolatey goodness? Every time I eat it, it makes me sick. Because that's what a girl does when she's down in the dumps, she eats crap that's not good for her. Dorkdouche moment #3.

See friends, I am surrounded by no interaction with the world. I still listen to Bon Jovi and think the national anthem is Free Bird (not really but its a shout out to the southern dorkdouches who still feel it necessary to take off their hats and salute the gods of Lynard Skynard.) I still think roller skating is cool, that no dress code in school is a child's way of expressing their individuality, and that you meet the parents when your kid goes out on their first date. I believe in yes ma'am and no sir, please and thank you. But I guess I should get with the program and pay attention more to the things that make this new age world go around, that's after I go listen to 80's classic Hit Me With Best Shot by Pat Benatar.

Happy Monday,

Friday, August 3, 2012

Outta Control

Good golly Miss Molly. You know how to party. Listen peeps, its Friday. I am all hyped up on sweet tea, Mt. Dews and Kettle Chips. These Olympics and the caffeine and I am about to do a double pike twisting back handspring into the weekend. So I leave you with this.

Now who doesn't want to follow along to all this and a bag of those Kettle Chips? Let's do it. See all them there buttons to the side. Click and wait for the tone. 

Happy Friday!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Hot Tamale ..Nicole Marie

Hot Hot Hot Tamale Thursday. This blog is crazy good. Nicole is not only a sweetheart but she takes the most amazing photos and she's funny, funny. If you get to know her one on one you will also see she's a kindred spirit. I love her bunches! So Nicole take it away....

Hello Dusty fan's. When this lady here gave me the 'okay' to spend some time over at her blog I did my 'Oh yeah, oh yeah' dance (which consist of me looking like a total idiot). As like most to probably all of you, I'm a fan of her humor and straight forwardness. Her titled post's "I took a dump" kills me every time. Anyways, let's get down to business.

My name is Nicole and I blog over here at Nicole Marie. My little corner of the net consist of my pictures, some notes and sharing what's on my heart. I take pictures, I love Seafood and I think cat's are the cutest thing's ever and I don't think I look like an lunatic when I talk to them because some how they do understand - this also goes for dogs, dolphins and squirrels too. In real life I am really quite, lost in my own world, emotive and always thinking.

But sometimes.. when I laugh to hard.. like in the picture below.. I look like an overly excited human bear (according to my fellow friends).

But can look normal like the girl above.

A few random facts about me:
I'm afraid of the dark but I love scary movies.. because I like to get scared.
I'm a realist - not a optimist or a pessimist.
I bite my nails down to the bone.
I love lazy rivers.
I like hard boiled eggs. I am boiling a few as we speak.
I really don't like the color pink or anything girly.

Like me yet?
I'll love to blog stalk you (:
and don't worry.. I don't bite.
You may visit my blog here or find out more about me by clicking here
because I really gotta' get back to those egg's that I mentioned before!!

She's awesome huh! Yeah, I know. Go over and say hi, show her some love, pet her, love her and call her Nicole! And make sure you visit her often.

Don't forget I would love for you to be a Hot Tamale, so give me a shout or I may just ask you anyway.

Happy Thursday,

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Pickles Commentary

So who's been watching the Olympics? Me, me, me teacher! I have been watching faithfully every night. All the twists and turns. Flips and flops. I can't get enough. Funny I have not an atheletic bone in my body. Yes, I played tennis, but its not like I am a prized winner. But I love sports. 

Any hoot here is my assessment so far and if you haven't been watching, you must!

Ryan Lochte, Olympic Gold Medalist

This guy I swear is hotter than a three dick rabbit during mating season.

Matt Grevers, Olympic Gold Medalist

This guy is 6'8". A effing beast! He just proposed to his fiance. I bet sex between them is like a Great Dane and a chihuahua.

Japanese Gymnast who knows his name

Who the hell did his hair? Edward Scissor hands that's who. I guess they don't have salon's in that country.

Women's beach volleyball

Dear Santa, please bring me that ass. Seriously, teeny weeny bikini's and no tits. None of these chicks have bubbies. I qualify for this transplant I promise.

Womans Gynastic Gold Medalists

I swear these girls look like Pez dispensers. Look at how big their necks are. I am just waiting for them to open their mouths and spit out an orange flavored candy.

So there's my assessment so far. I cannot wait for the rest of the games. So exciting to see all these odd shaped people compete.

Happy Wednesday!