In The Bucket

Everyone has a bucket list in there life. No we probably don't always set down and say this is the stuff I wish to do or have before I croak, but at one time or another everyone says "I want to do this or that." I was thinking about all I want to accomplish or do. So here's my bucket list. I know I probably won't do most of these but it sure is fun to dream right?

1. Be a good mother!

2. Move to the Cape Cod area. I want to retire in a quaint town where I can see the ocean and smell the air. Ride a bike to the grocery and set out on my porch with the breeze. I want to have a little cottage and eat seafood.

3. Own a boutique. Maybe this is what I will do later on in life after I move to Cape Cod. A little store filled with salvaged treasures and cool clothes with my own creations. I love salvaged,vintage pieces whether it be furniture or clothing. 

4. Go to Italy. I want to have all the food and bread a girl can eat. Then after I have taken in enough red sauce to have acid reflux for days then I will go see the sites.

5. Be published in a magazine. 

6. Go to New York and attend Fashion Week. I will probably see New York before I see fashion week but it would be so fun and hip to set in an audience and see all the designers even though I can't afford a thing. I would also like to see New York at Christmas, skate in Rockefeller Center and then visit the Hamptons.

7. Meet Bon Jovi! I mean there's a little teenager inside all of us. Who doesn't want to hang out with a rock band. I did meet all the guys from Def Leppard once. That was pretty cool.

8. Take Ian to see a Yankees game. 

9. Learn to sew. My mother was teaching me but we got side tracked. But I would love to learn. I would be a pillow making beast.

10. Hug a panda. I love pandas. I just want someone to give it a little sleepy drug, I will run in kiss it, give it a hug and make like Speedy Gonzales out of there before it realizes I am bait. 

11. Learn to snow ski. I love snow and being from the South we don't see a ton of it. But I would love to stay in a cabin and snow ski.

12. Attend the Olympics. I love the games. I am so not athletic but I would love to see all the athletes competing and the reward for all their hard work.

So there's my bucket list. By most standards not really anything exciting. But I am a simple kind of girl. 

Do you have a bucket list? What's on your must do list before you kick the tin can?

Happy Tuesday,

Dusty

Proud Mary

It's been a bit huh? Sorry I have been missing in action. I have been just busy. Busy with my thoughts. Busy with my son and busy contemplating life. It's funny how there are twist and turns. I thought I was over most of the twist and was turning a curve but then something hits you and sends you back to the fork in the road. I still have no idea where I am headed. 

Lately I have been dealing with finality. The finality of love lost. To know that it is possible forever. With the knowledge that everyday my child grows a day older, one step away to becoming something only a mother dreams of. The hope of one day finding a peace inside with the ability to know that my mistakes where just that. And then of loss. Loss of an identity. Right now I don't know which one to tackle first. 

Sometimes it unimaginable having to say goodbye. I have done it like most too many times. As we get older the inevitable happens and that loss is almost too much to bare. Goodbye to love one's is never a heartache you get over. 

Then there is a different goodbye. A goodbye to friends. People you trusted with your heart. Somewhere you know that they can make their way back, but you wonder will they? 

I have been blessed in this heart with some of the greatest friends. Friends who love me for me. Who know me. My true heart. I am not a naturally trusting person. Always cautious as to who and when I let people in. It's served me well in my life but also as a henderance. Mostly held at arms length but then there are a few that encompass my soul. Those I love with my whole heart knowing that I will never be hurt by. 

Sometimes life gets in the way. Our paths become different. We change and follow a direction unknowingly or maybe unwillingly taking the time to nurture that friendship making it grow as we grow. 

This weekend I hugged my friend Mary goodbye for she's moving on. Her family moving to start a new journey. We had time to reflect on the best years we spent together. Years that others that joined us can never say it wasn't the best time of our lives. The laughter and the fun but the purity of true friends just enjoying each other unedited, uncensored, and free. Free to be who we are. Then it was gone. Gone by a decision. A decision to walk away from one of the happiest times I have ever known. Why? A question that will forever be undecided or unanswered only to say that sorry seems the only thing that makes sense. Sorry that I hurt a beautiful heart for he undeserving knowing that to lose love by choice is one thing but losing that best friend in someone is another. I yearn to place a new best friend to love one day. But also sorry I walked away from friendships with the trick of the mind to think we would all still remain in tact. Some did and some did not. But I am more sorry that I wasted so much time not always being present. 

But we venture. Out into the unknown. Time takes over. Our lives change. Some for the better and some not so much. We grow older, our families change. We add lives that take up our time unselfishly, yet somewhere, yes somewhere it should have been shared. 

My soul has always been with these friends. The family of Gray's. Even far away. They are my family. And as I hugged her and I know not for the very last time because she's only going to be miles away and I vow to visit, we both crying, we took a breath at the same time as at one time our souls in sync and say I love you, at that moment I realized no matter the time lost, nor the change of having babies and busy schedules, my heart will always be where she will be and her heart will always be where I am.

I cherish every second with them. A life time of memories filled with photos, stories, and proof that bonds with friends do exist. I am so lucky that there are people in my life that I love so much. One's that no matter how crazy my life gets, they still are honest and loyal and love me and I intend to love them just as much right back for they have stood by me on my own journey and no matter how right or wrong I was........ remained.

Say I love you today and every day to your friends,

Dusty

Rewind the Time

So, I thought it would be a great idea since I have some new peeps to do a throw back post. One of my all time favorites. Let you get a feel of who I am and then refresh the minds of the ones who read. Some of you when you start reading a blog don't always go back through all the posts. I myself find someone new I go back and read as many posts as possible to get a feel of what's going on. So I give you one of my master pieces. Enjoy.

No Thong Zone

Did everyone have a great weekend? Oh, mine was another adventure, but that's for another day. Let's just say a trip to the vet and my dog apparently has a hemorrhoid like her mother. It's true. Dogs get the dangling death or the equivalent of them like in humans, so she also has problems with her anus. We are a team. Apparently, my dogs and I share so much. Last month, I had to share maxi pads with the one on her period and now the oldest lab has anal seepage. We are NOT sharing the same medicine. I love her so much but I am not giving up my Prep H. Call me selfish, but she can drag her ass and make it feel better. I, for reasons only known by God, cannot do the same. This is just delish. But back to the original story.

Last weekend, I had to go exchange some jeans that I had ordered on-line. You remember those flared LC jeans I featured in my blog? Well, the jeans and fluffy didn't get along so I tried to return them for another size, but to no avail, other people seem to have a fluff problem, so I just got my money back. Figuring I had $34 smacks, I would look around. I see this cute dress for summer but only on the mannequin, so a nice middle aged lady came over and I asked if she could get it down. I look at it and am pretty convinced I will buy it since it was $21 smacks and then she says, "well its pretty sheer, you might want to check out our intimate department and get a t-strap to go with it." Huh? A t-strap? Why in the world would I wear a jock strap with this dress. So I said, you mean a thong? She said, "yes, those things that young women wear so they have no panty lines." Looking at her like she had four heads, I mean she was a blue hair telling me I should wear a thong, knowing she probably has on exactly what I have on...granny panties, I wondered over.

Let me tell you its been years since I wore one of those t-straps. I think after a certain age, you just don't and second, she obviously didn't take a gander at my milkshake. I put on a thong and I am sure it would get lost somewhere amongst the massive cinnabons I am lugging around. Plus, I need something a little tight across thy skin because when I walk, it looks like two pigs fighting over a piece of cornbread. I carry the dress across the store, go take a peak. Memories started to pour in and I then remembered distinctly why I don't wear them anymore. First, my butt crack doesn't need dental care. Second, with the current ailment, I don't think it would be a healing process to wear it.

I browse through a few and then it brings me back to the time, a few of my fabulous friends went to Atlanta for a girls weekend. My aunt, cousin and I stayed in a room together. We ended up at Coyote Ugly. Several drinks and shots later, we come back to the hotel after dancing enough to be the spot light of the original show and the hotel. We go to get dressed for bed and my cousin goes to put on her pj's, I look up and she has on this matching lime green bra and thong. All of the sudden I blurted out, "oh my god your ass looks like it just swallowed Kermet the Frog!" After many minutes of uncontrollable laughing, snorting and silence with laughing again, we passed out from exhaustion from the giggles. That's when I gave up the thong. See I had worn one that night as well and all the dancing and repeated digging the next morning was uncomfortable, but seeing someone else's butt swallow a granny smith apple put it perspective. I never looked at my own butt to see what it looked like but seeing her butt, I realized, there is nothing beautimus about anyone's hiney. It's two mounds of dough divided by a line a fabric. I, from that point forward entered the "No Thong Zone." I tried boyfriend undies once but because my butt looks like a busted can of biscuits in them, they just rolled up on the sides and those went to the trash. These underwear are only meant for horn dog men, to look pretty and be gone in two point two seconds. They aren't for long term use.

So, I wandered back over to the section, put the dress back and walked out. I am trying to convince myself that the dress could be worn without the usage of a t-strap, but because the help even mentioned it, I was detoured. Sorry, Kohls, but Mee Ma helped bring back painful memories and you lost the sale on that day. I may be back or order it on-line that way when I receive it at home I can throw on my granny panties and walk around to see the jiggle factor and shine a light on the dress to see if you can observe my wassa or not.

I am proud to have entered the "No Thong Zone" even if it makes me un-hip, not sexy or it saves one frog in this world.

I know funny huh. There is a post that follows post later on called We Broke Up this where I had the hemmy removed. You can go stalk my blog and find it.  But this was best day of my butts life.

Happy Tuesday,

Dusty

Brush Strokes

It's Wednesday. My portion of fashion, beauty, and all that crap segment of this blog. I know I haven't posted something in a while, but I am back today showing you a little trick that has made a world of difference. Yes, I know this is something that has probably been around forever and blogged about. But guess what? I am not a makeup artist. I just apply war paint and off to the tribal dance I go. But I am a little excited to tell you all about my new discovery.

As I have gotten older and the wrinkles set in, my makeup routine has gotten simpler. This really attributes to being a mother and hoarding all the sleep I can get. Now that I have mastered the art of bronzing. Not really, but for my standards I have taken it by storm. My day makeup and most night consists of the new BB Cream that is out. It's light and I can still pound on the powder because I like a matte type finish product. But with this you can also use a powder brush for an all over touch and still have a dewy finish.

Now to the discovery. I usually save my heavy foundation for when I go out and I know I am going to be sweating, dancing and a long night with friends or family. I usually apply with the normal foundation brush. So, the other day I was reading an article on The Beauty Department (Lauren Conrad's Beauty site). It spoke of this different type of foundation brush to use, that blends the foundation, into the skin for an more even skin tone and coverage.

As I ponder this I click to find out much the brush is, uh, that's a no go in my wallet, so I decided to improvise. 

If you click on the link above it will show you a picture of the foundation brush. I found this brush at my local supermarket for $4.99. It's actually a mineral brush, but has the same type of flat top as the foundation brush shown in the article. I decided to give it a whirl. And it was magic. It gives a totally different coverage than a regular long bristled brush does and with less time. I also tried the technique shown going from the inside out making a star and that was a bigger revelation. Now these bristles are a bit longer than the one shown and I thought about cutting them a tad but that would probably cause me hysterics of impatience.

Honestly, I won't ever apply foundation without this type of flat head brush again. I might even invest in the other brush or find an equivalent not so expensive but for now, my Taters, do this. Use it with regular foundation or the BB Cream shown above. I am loving the new BB Cream from Garnier because it now comes in oil free formula. I top this off with my Rimmel Stay Matte Powder.

If I give you one tip to try this is it. A flat top brush is seriously the way to apply foundation and it blended right in and left no stroke marks or missed spots. Do it! You can thank me later.

Do you have a foundation technique or use this type of brush? Let me know what you think. And if you try it, Tweet me later and tell me how it goes.

That's this Tater Queens Tip for the week. See you next time.

Dusty

I Can Do Tricks

Since you liked Naked Man so much, I thought I would tell you another adventure. If you didn't read Naked Man, you missed out.

I like the idea of trickery. When Becca and I would go to bars I like to tell stories, give fake names which we have already established mine was Beth and make believe I am something I am not. Once we went to this kind of hip hop bar. I am not sure why now, but it had to be for some odd reason. Boredom maybe. Anyway, as the night progressed, this guy came and sat down at our table. We used to get this alot at the Honky Tonk too. People just randomly coming up to our table for conversation. Any hoot, he sets down and starts asking us questions. Now let me tell you a little about Becca. She's great at playing along. If I ever started one of these trickery sessions, she knew exactly how to follow my lead. 

After a few minutes of prying and poking, he asked me what I did for a living. I said, that I was an undercover cop. To be clear he was either high as a giraffes ass or wasted because his eyes about popped out of his head. It took a few minutes to convince him but I did. I told him that I was off duty but that every cop was still on duty truthfully. He asked me if he got in his car if he could possibly be arrested for drinking and driving. I explained to him that I could make a citizens arrest since I was off duty. He continued to ask who I worked for and I told him that I couldn't divulge that information. I mean there wasn't any information to give him. I was an Executive Assistant at an architecture firm. The only thing I was arresting that night was a beer. He asked me of course about handcuffs; what man doesn't and I told him that I was off duty and I didn't carry my gun or handcuffs with me. I told him we were just there to have good time while off duty and he eventually went away white as a sheet.

About two weeks later, we were setting at the Honky Tonk and this guy comes by. Low and behold it was the same guy. I was singing at the top of my lungs to a Martina McBride song and he came over and said, "Don't I know you?" I said, "I don't know why?" He obviously was high as a giraffes ass or wasted again, he said, "Oh my god, you sing this song?" Uh, thank you dumbfuck, trickery number two. "I said, well maybe." The guy didn't remember he had just seen me two weeks ago and I was a cop. "I said, yes, I am an up and coming country music singer. This is my friend Becca, she's my stylist and that guy over there in the corner is Phil, he's my bus driver." Phil was some guy that used to hang out at the club, we were only acquaintances but he could have drove a Moped for all I know, but I think he played along with us that night. He was there every weekend as well, he knew our antics that's for sure. 

The guy walks off and before I know it, he's brought over friends, more stupid friends. I shook hands and then these dickdorks asked for my autograph. Well, being a up and coming country music singer who apparently copied Martina McBride, I signed their napkins and they went off into the depths of the bar. I am fairly certain we all burst into laughter. 

I am the master of trickery, which is pretty funny because I suck at lying but it was all in the name of free beer Saturday at the Honky Tonk. Thank you Martina McBride for making me famous if only for one night. 

Happy Tuesday,

Dusty

Brain Farts

I needed an ark this weekend. It rained and rained. I may or may not have only went to Wal-mart (which I loathe) and picked up a few things early Saturday morning in the pouring rain, just so I could set on my butt, watch Lifetime, scroll through Pinterest, read a magazine, play Diamond Rush and make barbecue  That could or couldn't have happened but if you were a betting fool, just lay down the hundreds. 

So here are few things swirling in my brain. You know how when we get the urge for a change and we want to redo a room in our house, we either add new furniture, new decor or paint. So, why is it that anytime we want a change to our homes, our bodies, our hair, etc we can do it but you don't see anyone going, "You know, today I want to paint my black car pink with a little white at the headlights." "I am thinking the ombre effect". Or, "I am so tired of the dull ass grey interior, I think I will hop down to the grocery, get some RIT and die my seats blood red?" 

Moving on.. does any one else think that Rachel Zoe looks like Grumpy Cat?

It's just an observation. Every single time I watch her show and her mouth is all pouted up, the first thing that comes to mind is Grumpy Cat. She has some of the sourest looks on her face for someone who is just BA-NAN-AS! Seriously, she gets on my nerves. I dig her style but her language of abbreviated words drives me nuts. I mean how much longer will it take your tongue and voice box to say "Major" instead of "Maj?" The other night I heard someone on the Real Housewives revere to opening a bottle of "Champs." I was like huh? Turns out it's Champagne. I guess that's the equivalent in the south of bring me a Lite.. a Bud Light. She wouldn't last three seconds here. Every word is  eight syllables, if she abbreviated we wouldn't know what the hell she would be talking about.

Speaking of fashion, I read a lot of fashion blogs. I love style, clothes, beauty, all that crap. There is one fashion blogger that I am not crazy about her style that much anymore, but I still follow her. I count how many times she does the flamingo pose. You know the one where they stand on one leg and then one leg hiked and is at a greater than or less than sign like in math?  I click over, scroll down and usually in photo three there it is, the lawn ornament that every Floridian has at their RV site. If this blogging thing doesn't work out I am sure a retiree living in an camper would get his thrill and hire her. I think it could be called Yard Porn. 

Well, that's all for now. I am going to go back to folding and sniffing my laundry. I somewhere had a case of ate up with the dumbass and put some clothes that I thought had went through the wash cycle. I took them out and dried them. After looking at the Kid's baseball uniform that I sprayed with Shout still had grass stains and realized that uh, something isn't right. These clothes didn't go through the wash cycle. A total brain fart. So, now I am having to sniff everything in these piles of laundry that are clean to see which ones are dirty. If you need me I will be the one in the corner high on Snuggle fabric softener. 

Happy Monday,

Dusty

Naked Man

Back a long time ago, we are talking way back like many plus years when I was single and ready to mingle, I had lets say a ton of fun. Some of the best times of my life were spent with my partner in crime Becca and we could get ourselves into some shitzle. We used to hang out at a local honky tonk. Every Friday and Saturday you could find us there. At first it was just us two, then we recruited a few more into our cult. We could call the bar and say, "We want to reserve a table" and they knew exactly who we were. We walk in to pay our cover charge and the girl would announce "The Party Girls" were here. I met some interesting people to say the least. Half of which I vaguely remember now what their names even where. And they probably don't remember my name because I called myself "Beth." 

One night we decided to venture to Downtown Nashville. We met some people there one of which his name was Will. Will was a preppy dude. He had flippy hair. An updated Elvis do with a college oxford shirt wearing twist. Will was a nice guy. He was kind of on the rebound because his girlfriend had dumped him. 

We sat down at the pool hall and Will was already fucked up worse than a dollar watch. We ordered a drink that cost a blazillion dollars and drank it. We all chatted and looked up and Will's friends had left his ass. That's right -at the bar -with us. Probably thinking he was going to get lucky. But that wasn't going to happen. I didn't go home with guys in bars.. or so I thought.

Will didn't have his cell phone. We were Downtown and we weren't going to stay long because the po po's swarmed that place on the weekends. His friends were no where to be found and he was licking the pavement. So, I said, look you can come with us and I will take you home tomorrow. 

We got back to my house with my 80 pound beast of a dog Mille waiting anxiously to go outside. We sat down, chatted and I left Will on the couch with said beast. She liked to cuddle.

Becca and I changed our clothes and went to bed with the door closed. I am pretty sure we had a convo about leaving the door open or closed but decided that if he was a mass murderer, the dog would take care of that.

We woke up. The sun was shining, the dog on the bedroom floor, look over at each other and there he was slap dab in the middle of both of us. Naked as a jay bird. We both roll out from each of our sides of the bed while Naked Man is face down with the pink thing on my sheets. Becca and I look at each other puzzled. How did he get in here? How did we not feel the bed move when he climbed in? Holy, shit, what will he think or tell everyone? My dog sucks at protecting her master. Again, his pink thing is on my sheets. Ugh! 

So I looked and her and said, "Well, you wake him up." She said, "I ain't waking him up you wake him up." This went back and forth for about 5 minutes. I finally lifted the sheet and slapped him on the ass and said, "Hey Naked Man you have to get up and I need to take you home." 

On the ride to his house, not much was said. He explained where he lived, which I can't remember to this day, said thank you and got out of my SUV.  I never saw him again until....

A few years later, this firm I worked for the copier broke. I placed a service call. A guy walks in with an updated Elvis do with a college oxford shirt twist. I immediately recognized him but didn't say anything. I called Becca and said, "You will never guess who is fixing our copier?" She said, "Who?" I said, "Naked Man!" We both laughed and he came over and said that the copier needed parts, he would have to order them and come back. I signed his service ticket. I think he recognized my name because I never saw him again. Some other guy came to put the parts on the copier. That's right run, you to twisted for color TV creeper.

To this day, we still have no clue how he got in the bed. That's the honest truth. I don't let nobody in my cookie jar unless its pure love and she didn't either. Neither of us were drunk because we couldn't afford the drinks in that place. To sum it up. My dog has been and always will be a worthless guard dog. We figured out that she probably took up too much room on the couch and her breath ran him off and he was just too wasted and climbed on in.

And that's the story of Naked Man. One of the many adventures Becca and I have had together. She still can't believe I slapped his butt with my bare hand and I still can't believe his flesh and boner was on my sheets. Where ever you are Naked Man thanks for the memory. I am sure you are a Lifetime movie maker about a drunk who crawls into bed with strange women. I washed my sheets promptly after you left, you perverted bastard. 

Happy Tuesday,

Dusty