Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Have you ever....?

I am an over analyzer. This is true. I take things, think about them, study them, research them, worry about it, talk about it, dream about it then get up the next day and think what the H-E-Double Hockey sticks! The last two weeks my attention span has been short, my fuse has been even shorter and my thoughts have been on overload. Have you ever done this? Of course you have, duh. For example, you have conversations with people and your so into the conversation, then three hours later you think...what was that, am I nuts or are they nuts? I just wasted three quarters of my life pondering it and I can't get it back engaging in BS. 

I am an observer of people. I love to go into Target or a honky tonk and just watch people. My friend Becca and I have had many nights setting at a good ole fashion redneck establishment in the past and wondered how that girl walked out of her house in those tight jeans? Or how did he really stuff his whole package in those Wrangler jeans. Maybe she was cheering herself on by thinking "V" is for victory, if you get my drift. Have you ever wondered if they really looked at themselves and said, "damn I'm hot!"

Have you ever wondered what it will be like when you come back in another life? I often think I will come back as a dog. How wonderful. You get fed dog food and water. Then your master doesn't finish the biscuits and gravy and you eat that. You can go threw people's trash at 3 am while your out just wandering around and the cops won't arrest you and the neighbors have no idea how their trash got strewn all over their lawn. I mean when your neighbors tick you off you often plot in your head how to get back at them then suddenly your dog takes a big crap and you immediately think..REVENGE! I mean its OK that a dog can be humped over like a kangaroo and take a poop while 20 cars drive by but if you squatted over in your yard as a human you'd be arrested. I would love to be able to scoot my butt on the carpet to relieve an itch and people laugh about it. Instant funny. I profess I wish to be a dog in my second life. 

And finally, have you ever wonder why parents let their kids walk around with snot hanging out of their noses? Is it acceptable that a 2 year old can blow snot bubbles and we think its cute. Adults walk around with a booger and we instantly avoid them like the plague and not tell them they have a light weight dried particle flapping back and forth amongst the hairs of their nose while having a serious conversation about what's going on in the world. But at that moment the rise and fall of the stock market doesn't exist all you can think about is, "the boogie." A child can have it running down his lip, take his sleeve and wipe it and we just keep right on talking and not miss a beat. 

Have you ever read a blog and thought, I think the author is sleep deprived, on Christmas overload, worried about what the new year will bring or just plain nuts? Oh, wait that's me. 

Happy Holidays,