Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Ambulance Chaser

To say I suck is an understatement. I didn't have a blog post yesterday. Why? Because my weekend was jam pack full of nothing. The only thing exciting was the kids baseball game in which they came back from a 12 to 6 deficit to win. I feel so honored that the coach asked me to keep the scoring books but I think it was only to keep me quiet during the games. Total fail! Jokes on him. He obviously doesn't know that I am a multi-tasker. Most obnoxious team mothers are. Other than that, I took the pictures for my first ever outfit post. You will have to wait for that on Wednesday. I watched a lot of TV on Sunday. Matter of fact that's all I did. I exhausted all my efforts on Saturday, so I felt like a worm eating a dirt sandwich. 

While on my TV I got lazy butt marathon, I kept seeing this commercial about trans vaginal mesh. Some lawyer is advertising that if you have had complications from a botched trans vaginal mesh surgery to call him, that you may qualify for compensation. Huh? First off, I don't even know what it is, but its sounds funny to say. What does it do? Catch crotch critters? Maybe it is a protectant. The vagina's own soccer goal and there's a little goalie down there trying to block pieces of straggly toilet paper or fuzz balls. This will not work if you go commando.

Maybe its a barrier to the male species that he is entering the no dong zone. Maybe this surgery involves spider man and he shoots a web to hold all the body parts up. That's kind of creepy. Spider man with his mask hookin' up the wassa. Holla!

Side affects include painful intercourse and incontinence. What is that? It's funny spell check wanted to change it to ignorance. So your vagina suffers from ignorance and it needs a heavy duty band aid. I know a few times in my life my vagina has suffered from ignorance. I think that's where the phrase "everybody looks good when they are drunk" comes from. 

I wonder if the ambulance chaser slash lawyer asks for proof of your trans vaginal mesh? Perv. But hey, cash is cash. Might be an alternative to giving blood if your low on dough. 

Do you see where I am going with this? I have lost my mind. Crazy. Once again I have bestowed upon you my useless knowledge but in this case I can't even give you a clue as to what it is. All I can think is maybe its one of those things like you hit in badminton. Ooooh, damn I am good..a new Olympic sport. I think the only way you will win is if you play doubles. 

Happy Tuesday, 
I am going to research poop shooting now, 


  1. I'm new to your blog, but I pretty much laughed my a** off! I see those transvaginal mesh comercials too all the time and ask those same questions!... What the hell is it?!haha!


  2. WELL I NEVER!!! Trans-vaginal mesh??? Da HAIL??!!! I don't know what that is, but I AM familiar with your statement that "everybody looks good when you're drunk..." WHAT???? Who said that?!

    Can't wait to see your first evah outfit-o-the-day, me lassie.


  3. bahahahaha!
    This is hilarious! Stupid repeating commercials get on my last nerve. and what the heck is this one about?
    craziness, i tell you.

    Happy Tuesday! Excited to see your outfit post!

  4. I don't remember how I stumbled upon your blog...but you are hilarious!!! I found your blog last week and added you to my daily reads. You'll probably see some new comments (from me) on some of your old posts. I'm loving your blog! Oh and yep, seems like I see that transvaginal mesh commercial every weekend when I'm watching LMN. LOL I never even really bothered to think what it might be because these damn lawyer commercials are on overload!

  5. This begs the question of if it's better to have an ignorant vagina... or incontinence. Those meshes are mostly used when women get hysterectomies... so you pretty much hit the nail on the head with this one. And have you seen the show on Oxygen "I'm having someone else's baby"? It's about women who place their children for adoption. And I'm no going to lie, they've got some pretty ignorant lady parts. Really.

  6. What in the worrrrrld. That is totally cray.

  7. trans what?!?!? omg...I don't even want to google!! And funny you say that about terrible team moms...my brther is a lot younger than me and I am just APPALLED at all the crazy parents. They are nuts and get in FIGHTS!!

  8. Oh vaginal surgeries gone haywire. I know all about this. but I'm also lying.

  9. what the WHAT!!!?! How have I never heard of this!! OMG, what the H. And "Vaginal Ignorance". hahahahahhahhaaa, D, you have out done yourself. I have no appropriate stories I can share, but meohmy do I know a little something about THAT. hahaha

  10. Haha, I love those weird commercials. My favorite is when they say something ridiculous like "if you or someone you know, have died from taking this medication, you may be entitled to a settlement." Um, well sorry, I'm dead so I won't be calling you.

    I can't wait to see your outfit tomorrow! :)

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

  11. i have no idea what trans vaginal mesh but i have seen the commericials for it on tv. it scares me. that... and the used catheter one.

  12. Oh my gosh... im so glad you didn't have any pictures to go with this blog post. You are too funny. I would die if all I did was personal injury law. We don't even seek out that kind of work. Its awful.

  13. haha. I read that first comment up there about being new to your blog ... I wish I could remember the day that I joined your blog ... and what post I was introduced to first. I really wish I could remember. I wish I could remember my first impression of you ... my trans vaginal mesh girl. I probably thought 'what the *@*!'? and then laughed my ass off like every other new blogger does to your blog.

  14. Umm I don't know what it is either, mesh just throws me off? Like mesh tights? Does your vagina wall just get holey like an old pair of panties? So confused. I do however wonder what psychos actually call the lawyer. "yes sir my vagina is meshy" WTF

    Congrats to your little man for winning his game, fab-u-lous!


  15. What is this transvaginal mesh stuff?

    You don't suck!

    I can't wait to see your post tomorrow!

  16. Why didn't just take a few minutes today from running around like a bat shit crazy mom and read this freaking post!? It would have made my day more pleasant knowing that I DO NOT suffer from this mesh...I guess I will find another way to make a quick buck! I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight knowing I am gonna see the one, the only Dusty do an outfit post!!!! Holla!

  17. Oh my goodness. Stop it! LOL I'm teary as usual after reading your post! You crack me up!!!!! LOL

  18. Haha this post is awesome! Those commercials are so weird lol. I'm new to your blog! :) Looking forward to reading more.

    Jen @ kyleandjensmith.blogspot.com
    The Adventures of our Army Life

  19. Bahahaha! Now you have me curious. I'm afraid to google though. Thanks for linking up with the hop!

  20. Oh my god. I needed this tonight :)