Mom's The Word

My kid, who I don't really write about alot on here because I am still a little paranoid of pervs, is a character. He looks like me and has a great sense of humor. The greatest thing about kids from the age of 5 to 8 is you can pretty much get them to do anything. 

I bought the Zumba DVD's a few years ago and told him to learn all of the routines and he could exercise with me. Two hours later, I sat on the couch watching him, drinking sweet tea and laughed at him doing the booty circle. Sucker!

So I thought it would be funny to let you in on some of our conversations. Take note. It takes special mom skills to have these conversations. They leave you literally speachless sometimes. 

I asked Ian "what did you have for lunch?" He says "pizza, chocolate milk and what are those green bean things?" I say, "green beans" he says "yeah that's it."

Driving one Sunday Ian says " mom look at that cow what is he doing on top of the other cow?" my reply.."forming a conga line." ohhhh", he says.

Not long ago, Ian was being sassy so I told him that if he didn't stop it he was going to lose his teeth. He said, "you can't do that mom, I will look funny". I gotta find some new empty threats that one didn't work.

Coming home from eating out, I notice he hasn't really said anything in like 15 minutes. He gets in the car and says, "Dad can you hurry up?" Why Ian? Cause I gotta take a shit". 

"Mom, hurry come in here and look in the toilet". I run into the bathroom "What? Are you okay?" Yeah, look at these birthmarks I left!" I think he meant skid marks.

"Mom, when will I get hair under my arms?" Me: "I don't know about 13, Why?" He says because I am pretty sure I am starting to grow a beard." Me: Huh? Arms and face go together?

Ian asked the other day how old my grandmother was. I told him 83. He said, "how many is that in dog years?" I said, you don't measure a person's age in dog years in which he replied "then how old is she?" 83! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And finally this one just last week. We went to our first ever Tennessee Titans football game. The cheerleaders at one point went out on the field to do a dance and ...

Jokingly, I told Ian I was going to be a Titans cheerleader in which he replied "first off mom you can't be 40 years old." He's now grounded for 2 weeks.

Happy Tuesday,

Dusty