Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Mom's The Word

My kid, who I don't really write about alot on here because I am still a little paranoid of pervs, is a character. He looks like me and has a great sense of humor. The greatest thing about kids from the age of 5 to 8 is you can pretty much get them to do anything. 

I bought the Zumba DVD's a few years ago and told him to learn all of the routines and he could exercise with me. Two hours later, I sat on the couch watching him, drinking sweet tea and laughed at him doing the booty circle. Sucker!

So I thought it would be funny to let you in on some of our conversations. Take note. It takes special mom skills to have these conversations. They leave you literally speachless sometimes. 

I asked Ian "what did you have for lunch?" He says "pizza, chocolate milk and what are those green bean things?" I say, "green beans" he says "yeah that's it."

Driving one Sunday Ian says " mom look at that cow what is he doing on top of the other cow?" my reply.."forming a conga line." ohhhh", he says.

Not long ago, Ian was being sassy so I told him that if he didn't stop it he was going to lose his teeth. He said, "you can't do that mom, I will look funny". I gotta find some new empty threats that one didn't work.

Coming home from eating out, I notice he hasn't really said anything in like 15 minutes. He gets in the car and says, "Dad can you hurry up?" Why Ian? Cause I gotta take a shit". 

"Mom, hurry come in here and look in the toilet". I run into the bathroom "What? Are you okay?" Yeah, look at these birthmarks I left!" I think he meant skid marks.

"Mom, when will I get hair under my arms?" Me: "I don't know about 13, Why?" He says because I am pretty sure I am starting to grow a beard." Me: Huh? Arms and face go together?

Ian asked the other day how old my grandmother was. I told him 83. He said, "how many is that in dog years?" I said, you don't measure a person's age in dog years in which he replied "then how old is she?" 83! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And finally this one just last week. We went to our first ever Tennessee Titans football game. The cheerleaders at one point went out on the field to do a dance and ...

Jokingly, I told Ian I was going to be a Titans cheerleader in which he replied "first off mom you can't be 40 years old." He's now grounded for 2 weeks.

Happy Tuesday,

Dusty


30 comments:

  1. bwahahaha! I love kids of that age...actually pretty much from when they start talking in sentences to about 8 or 9 they are the most hilarious creatures on earth. My baby sister is currently five--my family, in years past, has literally sat around in the living room all together, not watching tv but watching her and laughing our heads off.

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  2. Brilliant!! conversations with kids are the best and "forming a conga line," what a great response.
    I had this gem of a conversation with a 5yo at the weekend:
    Amber - "why do people call you Beccie when you are really called Rebecca?"
    Me - "well, it's like how we call you Bam when your real name is Amber"
    Amber- "so you're my niece?"
    You've got to love kid logic.

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  3. I died when I read the conga line, I'm going to have to remember that. I don't have any awesome stories like this yet, but you can bet your bottom dollar you'll know all of them when I do.
    xx

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  4. LOL omg that is one funny kid! those are my fav ages to, I don't have kids but i have 6 nephews ages 12-3 so Iv had my auntie moments lots more to come ...lol *evil laugh*

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  5. You're kiddo is hilarious! Mine turned 4 this year and does crazy stuff! This weekend he took a straw and put it in his arm pit, blew into it to make "gassy sounds" and said "Shew Moma, you stank!" Thanks son, thanks! ha!

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  6. HAHAHA- he is funny just like his mama!

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  7. OMG, I am cracking up over here!!! Your son is too funny! LMAO @ the conga line! I would have never in a million years thought of that one! LOL

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  8. bahahah he definitely sounds like your child. what a stud.

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  9. Oh man...these are priceless! As your child I wouldn't expect any less "character". Please keep these coming, because they made my morning!

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  10. The birthmark comment made me do the gigglesnorts.

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  11. Tee hee...this must be shit kids say day, cuz I have my own kids' stuff on my blog too. Where in the hell do they come up with it??? I blame my husband...

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  12. Green Beans.. definitely my favorite part.

    Or the take a shit.

    I can't decide. All I know is your kid is funny.

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  13. Kids DO say the damn-est things!! The Congo'ing Cows.. Genius girl, genius.

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  14. Haha.. those are hilarious! The things kids say freaking crack me up. You certainly do have a character on your hands!

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  15. aaahahahahah. conversations with kids are the best. and these ones are hilarious!

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  16. i love all of these. so much. you and ian should have your own reality show. i would watch it. every night. the congo cows was my favorite one.

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  17. Oh man....love me some kiddo quotes!!!

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  18. God, I love this kid...him & Logan go hand in hand...no doubt! I won't tell her that he talked about his "birthmarks". That can be our secret! ;) Too cute!
    Shanna

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  19. i loved this dusty!! i laughed pretty hard at the birthmark comment, but you know how i love poop!

    my sis-in-law writes down all the funny things her kids say all year and then she types it up, inserts photos, prints it on cardstock, binds it up with rings and ribbon and gives it out at christmas each year. it's always one of our favorite gifts from her.

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  20. Hilarious! You should never ever let him forget the term birthmarks. Ever. When he brings home his first girlfriend, do it. Or just show her this blog.

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  21. Oh man. You're such an awesome mom. I can't wait to make my kid believe that animals are forming conga lines. ha ha.

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  22. LOL! oh my goodness! You are such a wonderful mother and he sounds like such a cutie :)

    xoxo

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  23. lmao! little kids are the best. I can TOTALLY see you doing the whole Zumba trick! Ba hahahahahaha!

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  24. SEEEEEE I don't have to birth anything. I can live vicariously through your parenting experience :)

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  25. Kids can definitely be there for our entertainment purposes.

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  26. I had a similar moment to the Green Beans thing :D I was like "what are those noodles that you get in pots?" Oh yeah, pot noodles XD Nice post :)
    Amy x
    http://dontfeedthebirdsplease.blogspot.co.uk/

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  27. I love the conga line thing. That is the best explanation EVER. I probably would have said they were playing leapfrog and got stuck.

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