Tuesday, October 2, 2012

You Can't Fix Stupid

Do you feel that? Monday gone, see ya, you suck! So reading through my daily smut, I see yet another celeb decided to tongue wrestle with a nobody. The country crooner Jason Aldean thought it would be so cool to get chocolate wasted with sprinkles and forget he had a wife and children at home and make out with some girl who has the good year blimp on her chest. Seriously, people dot com her. You want her on your ship if it sinks. 

This is what my dealio is. And I use naughty words so please don't take offence, but why do these famous people insist on being ate up with the dumbass? In a world of sex tapes, camera phones and audio devices of the secret agent kind, where do they think that someone, somewhere isn't going to catch them turning into a Rico Suave or the Long Island Lolita? This is why crazy bitches pull guns or cut off the peter cotton tails.

But here is my kicker. They always profess their undying sorrow. Apologize to their families and their fans and eventually we forget about it because they either make a movie everyone wants to see or writes a country song that relates to our dying dogs and we instantly fall right back in love. I wanna say hey pecker head, so you love your wife and children but you loved Bud Light more and your lips just turned into a magnetic force toward some chick just long enough for someone to take your picture. Oh, that's right Kristen Stewart just got out of her mess, so maybe there is hope for you. Yes, I agree that enough alcohol and the guy with cheap cologne and two teeth looks good, but shit do him quick because when you wake up in the morning your gonna see that your whole body could be ate up with a bad case of gingivitis.   

Listen I am no saint, but I have never in my years of partying ever had a one night stand. I am not saying anyone is bad for doing so, but I guess I just didn't see the purpose of hurting someone over three minutes of yum yum and a puke fest until I passed out.

When will celebs learn that if you do a sex tape it will eventually leak out. If you go into a bar and decide to rub your hands on a hot chick like waxing a Corvette, someone is going to take a picture of it. If you turn into a gold fish lips begging for food when your master comes home and jet propel your tongue down someone's throat, your gonna get caught. 

I wanna say don't do it, but then I wouldn't get to write a funny post about fixing stupid. Oh, wait you can't fix stupid. 

Happy Tuesday,
Dusty

26 comments:

  1. I don't get it either. It's almost like they want to get caught. I guess bad press is better than no press in showbiz land.

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  2. damn straight. seriously. what are they thinking?? it makes no sense. i think you must be right. they're just straight stupid.

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  3. my favorite saying + my favorite topic = love
    Seriously, I believe they want to get caught for some insane reason.

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  4. The title of this post made me smile- Billy used to say that all of the time! Thanks for that Dusty :)

    I also totally agree- it's like they waaaant to get caught just to stay in the media. It definitely changes my mind though, I don't care how talented you are- if you're an asshole...than you're an asshole. If you were so sorry- than why did you do that in the first place? Also, I get a little IRKed when the person who was cheated on just moves on like it never happened...what the??

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  5. Word. what a douche. Every one is coming at that girl too. It's like Jason is completely innocent and was attacked by an ex NBA cheerleader. woe is him.
    I am waiting around for 8 because there is some juicy info from a local regarding Jason Aldean coming on on my favorite morning show. I will let you in on the gossip. It sounds like it's gonna be good.

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  6. Thanks for the morning laugh sissy! I hate KStew for what she did to poor rob. I hate her so much I've agreed to be her for holloween.
    Love you!!!!!

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  7. In my very limited experience with meeting country singers, it always seemed like there were 4,564,565,465 people (handlers?) around shooing everyone along, making sure this would NOT happen. I think they would even change out band members if fans were getting too close to them. Now, I'm not saying that Jason Aldean is off the hook for doing what he did, but where in the hell were his people? Why were they letting him get drunk & make out with someone? Sure, he's a grown man & can make his own decisions, but he's also a brand & people like to grab onto that, hoping to be pulled into celebrity as well.

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  8. I cannot believe KStew and Rob are back together. It sickens me. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Unfortunately I learned that lesson first hand.

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  9. Re: cutting off peter cotton tails...I used to get my nails done by Lorena Bobbit. True story.

    Oh, and cheaters? I cant even stay friends w people that cheat on a spouse, I just can't ever look at them the same again.

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  10. Ok so i kinda follow his page on FB and he posted an apology on Sunday that said he messed up but he left the bar alone. I didnt know the whole scoop but i assumed it couldnt be good. I feel so bad for the wife! There's the public humiliation as well as her pain inside from the betrayal. I dont believe he did it to get caught - i believe he was just too damn stupid like you said! It's not ok to forget you have a family. Period! whew, I got a little riled up on this. I've been cheated on before and so these feelings sit below the surface.

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  11. Most celebrities are dumb. People fawn all over them so they think they are totally awesome and invincible and can do anything. I really think that's what it is. For the most part, I feel like celebrities just shouldn't get married. If you want to live the playa life, then live it, but don't drag down other people with you.

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

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  12. Holy Shit. I saw his apology on FB and wanted to stick it up his ass. Then oh wait our past governator got up and dished all of his shit - man the hell? seriously?? They his biggest regret was the housekeeper - umm you have a son with her stupid most have made him feel wonderful!! DUMB SHITS!!!

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  13. I just don't get it!!!! Of course he is apologizing he wants to cover his ass! He knew what he was doing and feels like an idiot because he got caught.

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  14. Cheaters shmeaters. What an asshole! And what a skank!

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  15. I cannot stand that (some) celebrities feel they can do whatever the hell they want, and as long as they apologize everything will be fine. It's like justifying their actions with a stupid "I'm sorry" is going to fix the damage they did to the other person. Can't stand it.

    Agree w/ you 100%.

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  16. Even when you're being serious, you're funny.

    SMH @ people! I think some of them think they won't get caught or they just don't care. You just never know who's watching or secretly taking pics &/or video these days.

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  17. UGH, you are SO right... you just can't fix stupid! Seriously, HOW on earth did he think he wasn't going to get caught?? They were out in the wide open and he was all over that chick. And I'm tired of people blaming their stupid mistakes on alcohol. You f'd up and you need to own up to it. His poor wife and kids :( What a loser.

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  18. Stupid Jason Aldean! I liked to think that the country guys were the good ones! Shame on him! and shame on Kristen Stewart!

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  19. This is why people don't get married anymore. Why get married when cheating is pretty much the norm? This isn't just for celebrities, but for normal people too. Women make it so easy for men to cheat now days. Used to, a dude would do it to do it. Now, a woman just has to not eat for 3 years,be as dark as a coffee table, have fake boobs, and be a hoe. Doesn't take much. It sets unrealistic standards for other woman which in essence makes the world a total uneven mess. Not all women are like that (THANK GOD) but they're everywhere. I'm from the old school camp of look and don't you dare touch. You will get caught and a woman's instict is a powerful tool that will never let us down.

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  20. I totally agree- how do they think they won't get caught?!?!?!?!?ugh! And even if you don't get caught- surely you love your partner enough to be faithful and trustworthy?

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  21. Sometimes, I think that they create the scandals on purpose, just so that they continue to get publicity and exposure without having to work. Go figure -- it's easy to get ahead in life for a celebrity by being a crazy dirtbag scum sucker.

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  22. Haha so true they are always soo sorry. Idiots

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  23. Please never call me a pecker head. I would probably cry. Oh and don't sing me a song about dying dogs either. Would most definitely cry over that one.

    People really need to get smarter.

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  24. Jason Aldean is now totally ruined for me. I didn't even know he was married! Friggin peckah' heads as CAROL would say.

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  25. Noooooo, not Jason...WTF??? Thanks for ruining my night! And nope, you can't fix stupid...such a shame.

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  26. Girl, I think they do it on purpose... bad publicity is better than no publicity. I mean do you think Kim Kardashian would have gotten rich and famous if she didn't release her sex tape? It's all crazy shit in famous people land.

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