It’s just Tuesday folks. Plain ole day of the week with a letter T. My mind has been going like a Ferris wheel with a hamster on it. So I am going to just throw a few things at you. Like last week, if you are reading this again, then you survived the dodge ball blog of stupid. So here are some more things I felt I should share.
Twenty four days left until Christmas. Pretty exciting until my child informed me that he wanted an Xbox for Christmas. Whaaaaaaaaaat? You just got a Wii. But that was sooooo two years ago. So Santa, better be hookin’ Mrs. Claus out, dolla make her holla, because those things are expensive.
Have you ever noticed that people that get arrested for DUI never smile in their mugshots? How ironic is that? They were smiling an hour before they got arrested, didn’t have a care in the world, dancing on tables, fancy bar, good friends, cheap cigars and then the Debbie Downer. Wouldn't it be hilarious if someone just gave the biggest grin in the world. Cheeeeezzzz!!!!!!!!!! Like model posed for their mug shots? I would love it. Can someone please get a DUI and do this for me? Double dog dare ya.
Why do women need botox? I have found that if I eat half a bag of salted kettle chips within an hour, I am swollen up like a balloon. So people in Hollywood are wasting their money. Seriously, I know it’s hard for you to eat a morsel, but save yourself some money, gorge on a bag of Lay’s Potato Chips and you will look like a lion faced figure in no time.
So have you ever just been a crap head about things that really should not mean a hill of beans? Like I am one of those kind of people that have always said I have a list of about 20 people that I would like to go back and tell them just what I thought. To ex boyfriends to mean girls, ex bosses etc. Well, this weekend I was carousing Facebook and this guy that I went to high school with is now dating this girl and I seriously didn't recognize her because it’s been like 20 years. So I texted another friend to ask if it was her and sure enough it was. Then I looked at her and I studied it. And I seriously want to say, “oh, look daddy’s rich girl, little miss homecoming queen, who has two kids by two different baby daddy’s is puffed up like a blowfish! Whopper with Cheese. Little Miss Holier than thou can’t find the perfect mate after 20 years, give it a few more and you’ll have to go outside the community to find love?” There is nothing that gives me greater pleasure than to see girls that were serious little B’s to me or my friends not have the most perfect life and then on top of it too see that all the money in the world apparently can’t buy them enough material to buy a whole coat. I feel sorry for him when he takes her out to eat, she takes the word buffet seriously. Ugh! Isn’t that the most awful thing in the world? I know. Terrible thoughts. Well, I mean really don’t give me that crap, you have thought a time or two about someone even skinnier or prettier. But then I realize that my muffin isn't all its cracked up to be and my life isn't as perfect and sometimes all the riches in the world can't buy you love.
Well, that’s it. I am over it. Another day. Probably the longest week ever after the time off. But it is what it is. I mean look on the bright side, jail is a terrible option for a hypocritical down and out homecoming queen.