Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I Thunk It


It’s just Tuesday folks. Plain ole day of the week with a letter T. My mind has been going like a Ferris wheel with a hamster on it. So I am going to just throw a few things at you. Like last week, if you are reading this again, then you survived the dodge ball blog of stupid. So here are some more things I felt I should share.

Twenty four days left until Christmas. Pretty exciting until my child informed me that he wanted an Xbox for Christmas. Whaaaaaaaaaat? You just got a Wii. But that was sooooo two years ago. So Santa, better be hookin’ Mrs. Claus out, dolla make her holla, because those things are expensive.

Have you ever noticed that people that get arrested for DUI never smile in their mugshots? How ironic is that? They were smiling an hour before they got arrested, didn’t have a care in the world, dancing on tables, fancy bar, good friends, cheap cigars and then the Debbie Downer. Wouldn't it be hilarious if someone just gave the biggest grin in the world. Cheeeeezzzz!!!!!!!!!! Like model posed for their mug shots? I would love it. Can someone please get a DUI and do this for me? Double dog dare ya.

Why do women need botox? I have found that if I eat half a bag of salted kettle chips within an hour, I am swollen up like a balloon. So people in Hollywood are wasting their money. Seriously, I know it’s hard for you to eat a morsel, but save yourself some money, gorge on a bag of Lay’s Potato Chips and you will look like a lion faced figure in no time.

So have you ever just been a crap head about things that really should not mean a hill of beans? Like I am one of those kind of people that have always said I have a list of about 20 people that I would like to go back and tell them just what I thought. To ex boyfriends to mean girls, ex bosses etc. Well, this weekend I was carousing Facebook and this guy that I went to high school with is now dating this girl and I seriously didn't recognize her because it’s been like 20 years. So I texted another friend to ask if it was her and sure enough it was. Then I looked at her and I studied it. And I seriously want to say, “oh, look daddy’s rich girl, little miss homecoming queen, who has two kids by two different baby daddy’s is puffed up like a blowfish! Whopper with Cheese.  Little Miss Holier than thou can’t find the perfect mate after 20 years, give it a few more and you’ll have to go outside the community to find love?” There is nothing that gives me greater pleasure than to see girls that were serious little B’s to me or my friends not have the most perfect life and then on top of it too see that all the money in the world apparently can’t buy them enough material to buy a whole coat. I feel sorry for him when he takes her out to eat, she takes the word buffet seriously. Ugh!  Isn’t that the most awful thing in the world? I know. Terrible thoughts. Well, I mean really don’t give me that crap, you have thought a time or two about someone even skinnier or prettier. But then I realize that my muffin isn't all its cracked up to be and my life isn't as perfect and sometimes all the riches in the world can't buy you love.

Well, that’s it. I am over it. Another day. Probably the longest week ever after the time off. But it is what it is. I mean look on the bright side, jail is a terrible option for a hypocritical down and out homecoming queen.

Happy Tuesday,
Dusty

20 comments:

  1. i can;t beleive there are only 24 days until christmas. yikes. there are certainly people that i would love to give a piece of my mind to, I wish I wouldn't worry about them!

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  2. If I wasn't having a fucking panic attack over christmas 10 minutes ago, I am now. Thank you sissy. ALSO I love you and I think you should make your tuesday thunk its a link up.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  3. Ahem, Dusty...did you accidentally flip the calendar too soon after Thanksgiving? LOL

    5th paragraph - hilarious!!!

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  4. I need Botox between my eyebrows already. Apparently I need to stop frowning so much.

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  5. I can't handle the idea if Botox yet. I need to be able to maneuver myself around a burger.

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  6. I love these posts...it's everything I've thought at some point! I'm determined to complete all of my Christmas shopping online this year. If it doesn't come from Target (the Red card gives me free shipping) or Amazon (again, Prime free shipping) they ain't gettin' it.

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  7. The best is when you see an ex boyfriend who has become a total loser.. which would be ALL of them. That gives me such great satisfaction. I don't know why, it's not like I care nor do I ever think about them, but when I come across something on FB confirming this, I just smile. Is that so wrong!?

    xo, Yi-chia

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  8. Who needs Botox. "I have found that if I eat half a bag of salted kettle chips within an hour, I am swollen up like a balloon." BAAWAAAHAAA, I agree with Justyn, link up here in the making!

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  9. Oh Dusty. Oh Dusty. Last night at dinner with a friend I said, "this is mean, but nothing brings me greater satisfaction then one of my exes marrying a girl who is homely."

    Hell. I'm going there.

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  10. haha botox is overrated. No one really needs it they just want it lol.

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  11. You scared me. It is not even december, nerd.

    My cure for botox will be cutting bangs again. Which I should just do now...

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  12. I havent purchased Botox yet so i cant insult it just yet. I have a crease on my forehead that we could all get lost in and im very tempted to make an appointment. BUT the whole lip injections are turning these actresses into plastic heads. That is so ugly! It is rewarding to be able to see mean girls get knocked down a peg or two or 11!

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  13. You know how I agree with everything you say? Well I do. I have searched mugshots before, and I have found when people smile I immediately think they are a sex offender. So I will not take that challenge. Also I ran into a B from high school last night at the store, and she was hot stuff back then right? Well she was still skinny, but her husband is UGLY and that made me feel better.

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  14. Does it need to be Lay's? Or can I do Krinkle Cut Kettle chips?

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  15. HAHA! Girl, you are too funny! Get your hook on for that X Box! :-)

    Jayme & Mendi @ Her Late Night Cravings

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  16. Everyone has those thoughts sometimes! Other things I got from reading this: I now want a big bag of crisps.

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  17. I love you and your random thoughts!

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  18. I'm convinced that life has a funny way of getting around to those girls that thought they were hot shit. The "hottest girl" from my graduating class is now just really average and horsey looking.

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  19. Haha we have all thought that at one time or another! Most people were nice to me (I tried to fly under the radar), but I still like to see Karma in action!

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