I'm a little Sprite today

I don't find a reason to wish anyone a happy Monday. I hate them. I have yet to understand why in this country we have to go back to work on that day or why we only have two days off from labor? It seems to me the weekends only consist of catching up from the crap you didn't get to do during the week. With that, catch up is a pretty good word here to use. Last week, I was consumed with personal things and to be quite frank, I had nothing funny or even remotely interesting to say. So instead of being a Debbie Downer, I just refuse to open up blogger and write it down. But I thought I would go ahead and fill you in on a few things I have been up too.

First, I have become addicted to Sprite. Why? Who knows. Don't get me wrong I still like my Mt. Dew's, but at night I like the taste of this cool refreshing lemon lime drink and it doesn't keep me up at night with all of the caffeine. Oh, now I know why I like it, because it sometimes does not prevent me from sleeping.

Speaking of sleep, the last several months, I wake up at 3 am with snot. I don't understand it. I thought winter killed all the snot producing molecules in the air. I blow and blow, sneeze and sneeze until about 4 am and then get another hour of sleep and wake up still full of snot and worn out. Saturday night I took a Zyrtec thank you Target. I didn't wake up until 8 am Sunday morning. My nose says thank you. My eardrums may be able to recover from popping but the only thing is it made me so thirsty in which I drank more Sprite.

From my lazy ass syndrome I had this weekend it gave me time to become enamored with the reruns of Castle. Anyone else watch this show? I literally have sat watching every episode for hours only getting up to get more Sprite and pee. All I can say is if the two stars of the show don't boink soon in one of the upcoming episodes I am going to scream. I am sure this is the purpose to lure me in and see if they end up together or not. The underlying innuendo of them having a crush on each other or whatever it is but not acting on it, is driving me nuts. Just kiss the girl already. She's not going to shoot your ass.

I love candles. I have to have them burning at all times. Maybe its the smell of something delicious baking in my house or the dog scent that lingers because I have two worthless animals that cohabitate in my dwelling leaving fur and bad breath particles all over. Regardless, my candle had burnt out for over a week and it literally almost drove me insane. I bought four at the grocery store yesterday..oh and Sprite.

Finally, I would like to say thank you to Target. While picking up my Zyrtec, I noticed that you have begun to bring out all the spring essentials including the bikini's. Yes, Operation Bikini is underway. I have done fairly well, except for cinnamon roll I had for breakfast on Sunday. Sorry it smelled so good. But I think that next year I am going to protest. This has to be some type of ancient torture! Discrimination against women who are trying their best to work off the holiday poundage. Great! I started my workouts at 20 minutes and worked myself up last week to 30 minutes. Thinking that I was working at a good pace 4 days a week, you just caused me to up my game to 40 minutes possibly five days a week now because I feel it necessary to squeeze my fluffy in some cute little aqua and brown number with bows and ruffles. I hate you. Thank gawd I am drinking Sprite, a low calorie, non-caffeinated drink. 

Okay, well, that's my Monday, the weekend, the 411 and all the crap rolled into a skinny tortilla filled with rabbit food. "I have a dream," Martin Luther King said. But I am sure it didn't consist of pushing his thighs and his behind into spandex and baby oil.

Happy Monday!

Dusty