Thursday, January 24, 2013

Slap Happy

If you haven't heard me talk about Operation Bikini 2013 or followed me on Twitter to see me gripe about it. Then oh, yeah, I decided that one of my goals (not resolutions) was to slide my slap happy ass into a bikini by summer. Yes, I want to fit into skinny jeans and all the clothes in my closet that are begging for me to wear them again. I am not overweight but out of shape. And I didn't know out of shape I was until I started this process. 

It's going on three weeks now and I have been exercising at some level 4 days a week. I started out at 20 minutes then the next week 30 and now I am moving up to 40 minutes. Last night, I did 20 minutes of kickboxing and 20 minutes of Zumba. Foks, I am sure I died twice. Sweating isn't my favorite thing to do, but here's the deal. Because I don't go to a gym, I workout with the Xbox and Fitness Evolution 2012 and then the Zumba DVD's and I find myself because I have no one to interact with except telling the dogs to beat it, that I talk to the TV. 

Do you talk to the TV? The virtual chick was telling me every time I did a good cross body punch, "Great Job!" I was like "Thanks". Then the guy was going to fast and I was like "Dude, slow down!" What does he care? He's a glowing shadow who doesn't give a rats patootie if I kick right, left or jump in a circle. Of course, it's just like a man to have the woman tell you you're a screw up.

Mr. Zumba guy is way too happy! But I also find myself starting to talk Cuban. At the beginning of the DVD he says "Feel da music." I repeat it to myself. "Feel da music." Then at the end he says "Good Job!" I find myself saying out loud, "Thank you!" Of course, there they all are in their flat, tan stomachs doing the booty circle and I am just trying not to knock the dogs out with my two pigs fighting over a pile of slop in the back. I secretly want to take a Cuban cigar and burn the girl with the tramp stamp the size of Texas's eyes out because she's so overzealous with her moves. I think the Beto guy and little Miss I Bounce You Bounce, we all bounce, a bounce bounce are doing a little somethin' somethin' on the side. 

At any rate, we all have become fairly close with each other all though the virtual people see me as a scanned alien type. I am on my way to a bikini and feeling better about myself. And if anyone decides to knock on my door or peek through the window, they are just going to see something that looks like a greyhound chasing a rabbit at the race track and a Sybil like personality talking to the television.

How's your workout going? I am going to incorporate some yoga and Pilates in the mix next week. That should be interesting. Did you make any goals for 2013? 

Until then, Adios,
Dusty


23 comments:

  1. haha! The zumba thing made me LOL! I'm not a big kick boxing fan, but do like to pretend it's someone's head I'm kicking when I do do ONE kick every now and then, usually when I'm pissed off. You will get there, you're determined. Just keep putting Beto and the crew in and have fun with it. Wish we lived closer...you'd def love coming to my zumba class ;) Enjoy the weekend!!

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  2. This made me laugh, I think I'd be exactly the same. I need some of your motivation, I like the sound of the exercise DVDs you are doing but I think if I was to do that the woman in the flat below would have something to say, her whole ceiling would be shaking.

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  3. I do zumba in my living room too. I lock the hubs and the dogs in the other room because I really don't feel like being watched and laughed at while flailing around like a loser.

    Operation Bikini 2013 ;)

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  4. sounds like you are doing awesome!! and i absolutely talk to the tv or rather, yell at it.

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  5. Oh how I love turbokick, but I CANNOT work out at home, because I only do it for a little while and then get distracted and find a reason to quit, which is funny because when I go to the gym I am somewhat competitive about it (in my own head). I'm all - WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS???? I CAN KICK HIGHER THAN THAT. I'm pretty badass inside my own head. True story.

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  6. Good for you lady!!! I need to get busy doing something thats for sure in front of the TV or outside somewhere. I talk back to the TV regardless though.

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  7. Yea, why are they always so TAN!? Good for you, you are totally on a roll.. doing booty circles and taking names!

    xo, Yi-chia

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  8. You are doing awesome and I also talk to the tv when I workout haha. It's the only way I can stay sane. :)

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  9. So glad you are working out my goals is at least 4 days as well. I really wish I had a gym membership so I could go with friends but ahh I don't want to spend the money so I use apps on my iphone and my ellpitical!

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  10. Isn't Zumba so fun?!?! But yes... the instructors on the DVDs are so cheesy and the guys are often flaming haha... great workout though! Youll be in a bikini soon!

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  11. Love Zumba! My brother and I used to play it on the PS3 Move all the time. I would have to shut my living room curtains though because I can't have my little nosey neighbors watchin me shake my thang!

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  12. I wish I could witness the Zumba-ing. Oh god, you killed me with that. I refuse to do it at the gym. There is also bellydancing but half of the ladies in the class are indian and I think that is unfair because they are already good at it. Was that borderline racist?

    Also, I am DYING for greasey mexican food. DYING. But I will be in a slutty ass dress by my 30th in SIX WEEKS OMG I AM NUTS.

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  13. I started working out yesterday! I wanted to start sooner, but with being sick and all I had to wait until I could at least semi-breathe before I started working out. Didn't wanna die or anything, ya know?

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  15. I'm glad I'm not the only one who refuses to join a gym. Too much cash, too much pressure, too many peering eyes. And yeah, I yell at the t.v. Also why I don't go to a gym. Those bitches wouldn't care for my sailor talk and high volumes. :)

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  16. How amazing is this? My favorite youtubers (leflooftv) were just mentioning something similar. He had a funny story about the new gym he goes to and said that the machines talk to you and say things like "come on fatty!", lol! I'm currently sponsored by an online company that provides workout vids. I enjoy doing yoga and ab workouts on it. Considering that I'm detoxing (on a raw food diet for twenty days) my workouts have to be quite simple. Thanks for sharing such a funny post ;].

    *goes back to daydreaming about steak and sushi*

    Kimberly
    KIMBERLYLUXE.COM

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  17. I finally almost have my diet on track, so in February I'll see about adding in workouts again. But go you! So glad you are on track and improving each week

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  18. I've started walking at the gym... but I haven't been consistent. I'll try better next week but to be honest I blame it on the cold. I can't even think straight because it's so cold. I think my wee brain is freezing... so I run home under the covers as fast as I can.

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  19. You are so freaking awesome and AMAZING! Great work! I've just recently added in a workout DVD to my routine. I don't yell at the TV, but I get all nervous when I hear the roommate wandering around upstairs (DON'T WATCH ME, CREEPER!), or Diesl...that boy likes to "help" when I'm the floor...like licking my face or standing over the top of me like, are you ok? Do you need assistance? Damn dog...good thing he's cute.

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  20. Good for you! I just started pilates. It's not as easy as I thought it would be!

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  21. I got on the treadmill last night to hopefully negate the margaritas, mexican food, eggs benedict, french toast...uh yeah. I ate a lot this weekend. I am still +20 lbs and I really need to do something about that.

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  22. WTH. I upgraded my gym membership so I would go, and I haven't gone in a week.

    I am loving Zumba.. But found you have to watch who the instructor is. Some will make you sweat for an hour, some for 10 min.

    I started the 17 day diet Monday and I am already starting to feel good! And guess what? No coffee. It can be done!!

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