If you haven't heard me talk about Operation Bikini 2013 or followed me on Twitter to see me gripe about it. Then oh, yeah, I decided that one of my goals (not resolutions) was to slide my slap happy ass into a bikini by summer. Yes, I want to fit into skinny jeans and all the clothes in my closet that are begging for me to wear them again. I am not overweight but out of shape. And I didn't know out of shape I was until I started this process.
It's going on three weeks now and I have been exercising at some level 4 days a week. I started out at 20 minutes then the next week 30 and now I am moving up to 40 minutes. Last night, I did 20 minutes of kickboxing and 20 minutes of Zumba. Foks, I am sure I died twice. Sweating isn't my favorite thing to do, but here's the deal. Because I don't go to a gym, I workout with the Xbox and Fitness Evolution 2012 and then the Zumba DVD's and I find myself because I have no one to interact with except telling the dogs to beat it, that I talk to the TV.
Do you talk to the TV? The virtual chick was telling me every time I did a good cross body punch, "Great Job!" I was like "Thanks". Then the guy was going to fast and I was like "Dude, slow down!" What does he care? He's a glowing shadow who doesn't give a rats patootie if I kick right, left or jump in a circle. Of course, it's just like a man to have the woman tell you you're a screw up.
Mr. Zumba guy is way too happy! But I also find myself starting to talk Cuban. At the beginning of the DVD he says "Feel da music." I repeat it to myself. "Feel da music." Then at the end he says "Good Job!" I find myself saying out loud, "Thank you!" Of course, there they all are in their flat, tan stomachs doing the booty circle and I am just trying not to knock the dogs out with my two pigs fighting over a pile of slop in the back. I secretly want to take a Cuban cigar and burn the girl with the tramp stamp the size of Texas's eyes out because she's so overzealous with her moves. I think the Beto guy and little Miss I Bounce You Bounce, we all bounce, a bounce bounce are doing a little somethin' somethin' on the side.
At any rate, we all have become fairly close with each other all though the virtual people see me as a scanned alien type. I am on my way to a bikini and feeling better about myself. And if anyone decides to knock on my door or peek through the window, they are just going to see something that looks like a greyhound chasing a rabbit at the race track and a Sybil like personality talking to the television.
How's your workout going? I am going to incorporate some yoga and Pilates in the mix next week. That should be interesting. Did you make any goals for 2013?
Until then, Adios,