Easter has come and gone! You know what that means? No more Peeps! That's right. They are leaving. Gone. Finito. Sianara. Exito. Bye Bye. Later Tater. I was in Target yesterday and they were already packing them up. Which got me to thinking. I can seriously understand why our country has a high obesity rate. Starting from Halloween on there's nothing but sugar filled isles. Candy! Candy! Everywhere. We get no reprieve until now. After this holiday, the sugar filled high in carb evil that in our sights for almost seven months and really means probably about eight total because the retailers get a hair up their asses to put out decorations and celebrating holidays a month before the stupid holiday arrives is over. So, we sweek (combination of sweet and week) toothed individuals succumb to the glorious Gods of Candyland goodness. No wonder my kid needs $700 dollars worth of dental work. Apparently, I let him sign up for "let's rot our teeth out" kind of life.
Although I do not let him eat those Peeps in my sight. They scare me. The only satisfaction I get is some snot nosed kid has gobbled them up. Death by kid. I wonder if there is a special sentence in Peep death. Five years of freedom if you ask me. Eating a Peep should constitute a hall pass if your kid gets in trouble at school. "Oh, I am sorry my kid busted your kids nose, but I can't punish him. He destroyed 3 packs of Peeps at Easter." He's part of the Peep Mafia.
The Kid asked me if the Easter Bunny was real. I of course asked him why. He said, "Well, some kids are saying he's not and that its your parents." Well, my answer is this. If you believe in your heart that he's real then he is. Then he said, "Oh, mom I know he's real. You don't have any money and he brought me an Easter basket with candy and gifts." Well, if that does just put a nut in your ego. But then again this can work to my advantage. If he thinks I am poor then he won't be asking me later on in life for a car. Now this is some shit I can get on board with.
Yes, I know eventually, he's going to find out that all these characters are make believe which if you ask me sucks the big flag pole because I still myself think Santa could be real. But it also poses the question, of well, when he finds out is he going to call me a big fat liar? Maybe I will tell him it was Duh. Duh made me lie to him from the age of believery and that his father is to blame. Oh, I am kind of loving this game now. Crap that won't work. I can't let his father take the wrap for that. Plus, I really should save that card for the later in life thing I mentioned before like the car idea. I mean if your going to blame someone for something, a teenager not being able to drive his own vehicle would be the perfect way to one up the other parent. You know that when it comes to that age we are probably going to tangle like wild cats. He's going to want freedom from the nest and I am trying to convince him that 25 seems like a great age to leave it. So, yeah, I better save my terrible, "it's your father's fault" card for later in life.
In the end, The Kid woke me up this morning and said, "Mom, the Easter Bunny came. He brought me a bunch of candy and I wanted to share this with you." I got up, looked on the night stand and there was the Reece's Peanut Butter Egg that was in his basket. And I realized at that very moment that my Easter gift was the fact that he had the heart to share his candy. Only because he probably knew I would steal and eat it when he wasn't looking. And if he only knew I paid for it so its really mine to eat anyway. I love this bunny believing game. I got chocolate out of the deal from myself.
I say believe forever if you want. Nobody says you can't. Now where's this money tree I keep hearing about?
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