Thursday, December 1, 2011

Two Cents Thursdays

Two Cents Thursdays, hoot and holler! Let’s just cut right to the chase of what I have been pondering the last week and since I missed last Thursday because I was gorging my brains out and expanding my waist line on cornbread dressing, time for a little catch up.

First, do you ever just get the giggles? Like when you think about it two days later and you still laugh. My cousin, Rachel and I, Thanksgiving day decided to talk about the AMA’s and the subject of Christina Aguilera came up. And then it began. The mountain of comments, the laughs so hard with tears and almost pee pee pants. We became Siskel and Ebert. Here is our summary, it started a chain reaction that we couldn’t stop. 1.She basically looked like a basted turkey wrapped in aluminum foil that when the oven door opened, she escaped. 2. With her Wet ‘n’ Wild red lipstick, her lips looked like they were on their period. 3. To a child she might have looked like a Klondike Bar. 4. Her hair was one teaspoon of bleach away from being featured on a Wen commercial and it just kept going.

It was a train wreck. I support curvy girls everywhere. I got some junk in my trunk, but I know when to back away from anything that looks like you wrapped your leftovers in. It was almost like the game you play at baby showers where you wrap the prego in toilet paper. Someone shrink wrapped her into that dress. Ok, moving on.

Well, not just yet. I love that song by Maroon 5. “Moves Like Jagger”. But let us be clear.. Have you seen Mick Jagger move? Seriously, moves like he has to pee, legs tight together and big giant steps, or something is tucked up all tightly. If you move like you sat on a cork, dim der ain’t moves. It’s called my butt cheeks are together because I really need to poop, move out of the way sister!

Ok, now moving on…nicotine patches. Where’s the nicotine? How do you get it in something that looks like a band aid only bigger? So basically, if you where having a cigarette craving just roll that sucker up, light one end and smoke it. Heck alcoholics drink mouthwash.

I read tons of blogs every day. Every blog I follow I read and then a few more. You always see the “Mani of the Week.” Pretty nails all perfect but you never see the “Pedi of the Week.” I know feet aren’t that pretty and some people’s toenails you can slice tomatoes with them, but there has to be a pedicure blog somewhere I just know it.

Victoria Secret Fashion Show…. Where’s the beef? Just sayin'

I got my first rated X Twitter follower. Totally clicked the link and holy moly! Thanks for following but you are blocked, you Twit!

And finally, my son got a progress report and his phonics are low. HEL-LO-A. We live in Tennessee stupid teacher where “it” has six syllables. Ugg! And this what I pay taxes for.

What's your Two Cents Thursday?

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Happy Holidays,


  1. this post cracks me up! I didn't see the AMAs but my sister showed me the picture of Christina...omg so many gross things about her outfit/appearance. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She used to be so sweet and innocent!!!! I absolutely love the song moves like jagger! I never get sick of it!!!!! And that is hysterical about the twitter follower! For a while I would get 2 plus a day and you just have to report them to spam. It is GROSS!! Who does that kind of stuff!

  2. And this post is one of the reasons why I love reading your blog. You're hilarious! And now I must go follow you on twitter. Oh, I got an xrated follower the other day too! I only have 3 followers on their :( I'm trying to make buttons for that and pinterest for my blog.

  3. I love Thursdays...rambling is so much fun!

  4. Girl, you crack me up. So glad I found you. You are going onto my daily reads.

    And if you really want to see my fabulous toes after a pedi- here's the link:


  5. Didn't see the AMA's but I agree, I am heavy, fat, thick, etc. I have always been terrified of anything that didn't fall off me and if it didn't was as nervous as a hooker in church. Don't get it nowdays. When I was a kid if you were fat you dressed the part, now I see all these pretty heavy girls wearing stuff I wouldn't wear if I were smoking crack! I don't get it at all.