I am a ponderer. Is that even a word? I will be driving down the road and thoughts enter my head and think hmmm. I am a deep thinker. I over analyse. I research it. I ask people about it. I should have been a psychiatrist or a private detective. So, setting in traffic last week which is what I do every frigging day, my mind wondered. I think of things that would be great conversations amongst the girlfriends on a night gathered around with pizza and wine. But then it made me think, why wouldn't I just want to ask these questions myself. For instance...
I would like to ask God why women have so many beauty routines? I mean Adam thought Eve was hot snot and all she had on was a leaf. Do you think he saw the hair and said, um, no I don't think I will kiss you until you shave your legs. I hate to shave my legs. So why couldn't he have just said, Dusty I give you to your parents as a symbol of my love and I also grant you the amazing gift of Venus smooth legs for the rest of your life.
Why do Eskimos live in igloos? Do they still live in igloos? Are there still real life Eskimos? I mean who thought of building a house out of ice blocks? Where did you think this was energy efficient? I am all for being green, but freezing my baguettes off isn't my kind of way to save the earth. You can put on a furry parka all you want but I wouldn't be coming over for dinner. And you build the fire outside the igloo. Hell-o people! You go inside to stay warm. I don't think the Eskimos had this plan well thought out if you ask me.
Why didn't the Pope and Mother Teresa date? Here are two people that spread the most amazing words of love and compassion. I mean nobody would have ever believed it if they had. They are Saints. He was wearing a bed sheet, instant love nest. You mean to say they never had the urge? He didn't have passion in his pants? Wouldn't it be funny to invite her to one of those surprise girly parties and hand her a bag with a vibrator inside. That would be after we got her wasted on jello shots. Listen, I say they should have took a mule ride up to a mountain somewhere, turned on a little Marvin Gaye on the boom box, ate a little cheese and Bleeped. Of course the poor lady, she would probably have thought she got slimed by the Ghost Busters after all was said and done. Maybe we just leave that one like it is.
So see, I have a lot of time to think. Traffic is torture but it also gives me time to reflect on the utterly stupid.
You can also find me over here today talking about myself and my craziness. Thank you Justyn for asking me over. If you regret it don't tell me, I am sorta sensitive...NOT!
What a great way to start a Monday, huh?
Dusty
Hehehe, this post made me giggle :) Especially "He was wearing a bed sheet, instant love nest." You are hilarious! My mind tends to wander too- next time I need to keep track of where it wanders like this!
ReplyDeletexo Kayla
Why DIDN'T the Pope and Mother Teresa date? You are so genius, Farrah, and I love just love you so. Big hugs from the sharks and send Lou my cheesy love.
ReplyDeleteI always wondered about the Pope and Mother Theresa. But priests and nuns take that whole celibacy vow thing when you're Catholic. Dumb. Today I thought about bumper stickers in traffic. All 30 min of my commute.
ReplyDeleteHahahah. This whole thing made me laugh!
ReplyDeletepondering is definitely a word, and you are top notch at pondering. Top Ponderer.
ReplyDeletewhy COULDN'T have god left us without leg hair??! Seriously! Good ponder.
ReplyDeleteI recently met an Eskimo, oh wait they like to be called Inuits...she is the meanest funniest drunk person I know. It's scary. Put that on your bucket list and smoke it. Met Eskimo, try not to piss them off and get out alive.
ReplyDelete"I should have been a psychiatrist or a private detective.." that made my day.
ReplyDeleteDusty, so this pope business and mother t.. oh my gosh. oh my gosh. oh my gosh.
I love you.
Its true being stuck in traffic gives you all the time in the world to think. I like how you're pondering deep thoughts and I usually wonder what's the hold up and try not to get too worked up! Lol.
ReplyDeletei adore that you just called eve hot snot. adore. oh and eskimos ... they freak me out.
ReplyDeleteOk, so I've totally thought the same thing about Mother Theresa and Pope John Paul. When I was a kid, I sorta thought they were an item. My grandmother about had a heart attack when I said something about it :)
ReplyDeleteHere's my question:
ReplyDeleteWhy are we the same person?
Because I think I have thought of every single one of those. And I daydream mostly in the car.
Rough Life. haha
xoxo,
Sierra
OMG. Why didnt the Pope and Mother Teresa date?! Love it.
ReplyDeleteTraffic blows. But what you think about in traffic rocks. I do the same thing, maybe we can keep sparking new "traffic ponderings" in one another to make traffic suck a little less.
ReplyDeleteMother Teresa and the Pope totally should have dated. They would have been a huge celeb couple.
ReplyDelete"Why do Eskimos live in igloos? Do they still live in igloos? Are there still real life Eskimos?"
ReplyDeleteouh. Love you. <3
I think that a girly party with you, Mother Teresa, and jello shots would have been the greatest party ever conceived. I, too, wonder why we as current society can't be happy with the way we were made. Then again, I can't stand having furry armpits. Grosses me out.
ReplyDeleteThe whole Eskimos thing was funny but so true! I'm a deep thinker too. I often think of things the same way. I enjoyed this post Dusty.
ReplyDeleteMy commute is about 30 mins each way. Each day, each way, I arrive home or to work and think, how the hell did I get here? And then I push rewind on where I have been for the previous 30 minutes...crazy shyte rolls around in this brain during those drives!
ReplyDeleteOh, and you ROCK! Have an awesome Tuesday! :)
eachdayinthislife.blogspot.com
Hahaha yes, I totally relate to all of these thoughts! Most of mine usually happen while I'm running though and then fly out of my mind before I have a chance to write them down as awesome as you do! I'm your newest follower! :)
ReplyDeletexo,
Marcie
A Sigh and Sanity