I am a ponderer. Is that even a word? I will be driving down the road and thoughts enter my head and think hmmm. I am a deep thinker. I over analyse. I research it. I ask people about it. I should have been a psychiatrist or a private detective. So, setting in traffic last week which is what I do every frigging day, my mind wondered. I think of things that would be great conversations amongst the girlfriends on a night gathered around with pizza and wine. But then it made me think, why wouldn't I just want to ask these questions myself. For instance...
I would like to ask God why women have so many beauty routines? I mean Adam thought Eve was hot snot and all she had on was a leaf. Do you think he saw the hair and said, um, no I don't think I will kiss you until you shave your legs. I hate to shave my legs. So why couldn't he have just said, Dusty I give you to your parents as a symbol of my love and I also grant you the amazing gift of Venus smooth legs for the rest of your life.
Why do Eskimos live in igloos? Do they still live in igloos? Are there still real life Eskimos? I mean who thought of building a house out of ice blocks? Where did you think this was energy efficient? I am all for being green, but freezing my baguettes off isn't my kind of way to save the earth. You can put on a furry parka all you want but I wouldn't be coming over for dinner. And you build the fire outside the igloo. Hell-o people! You go inside to stay warm. I don't think the Eskimos had this plan well thought out if you ask me.
Why didn't the Pope and Mother Teresa date? Here are two people that spread the most amazing words of love and compassion. I mean nobody would have ever believed it if they had. They are Saints. He was wearing a bed sheet, instant love nest. You mean to say they never had the urge? He didn't have passion in his pants? Wouldn't it be funny to invite her to one of those surprise girly parties and hand her a bag with a vibrator inside. That would be after we got her wasted on jello shots. Listen, I say they should have took a mule ride up to a mountain somewhere, turned on a little Marvin Gaye on the boom box, ate a little cheese and Bleeped. Of course the poor lady, she would probably have thought she got slimed by the Ghost Busters after all was said and done. Maybe we just leave that one like it is.
So see, I have a lot of time to think. Traffic is torture but it also gives me time to reflect on the utterly stupid.
You can also find me over here today talking about myself and my craziness. Thank you Justyn for asking me over. If you regret it don't tell me, I am sorta sensitive...NOT!
What a great way to start a Monday, huh?