The Mushy Pecker

You know when two minds get together, it's amazing what you can come up with. I imagine this is what some of the great inventors of the world came to the conclusion of although not via email. Last week, Jes wrote a post about men and women and the historic ways of communication between the two. I made a comment on that post that men in general after fighting with a woman basically think that make up s.e.x makes things all better. It got me to thinking. Thus began a new venture. I am the brains and she will handle the money. Oh, and all customer service calls.

Now ladies we all know that this is true. You get in a fight. You're still steaming. The man for some reason is turned on by this, yet thinks that becoming the minute man at the gas station of love will make you in a good mood. Thus this new product will help settle the score. 

It's called the Fake a Period Kit. For a mere $5.99 you can buy a kit that comes with three fake tampon strings and adhesive. All you have to do is say, "honey with your teeth gritted, I am so sorry but I am on my period or I just started my period." Here's how it works. You slip into the bathroom, pull out the fake string, place the tape on the tip of the string and stick to the vajajay or somewhere in the vicinity. When he doesn't believe you, hike that leg just enough to see the string. I mean all it will take is to see 1/2 inch of the damn thing and they will roll over and start snoring. 

If they keep on harassing you, for an extra $2.99, we will include our special potion called Stinker Juice. A small bottle of that not so fresh feeling. Dip the fake string in, stick and fo sho with one wiff this will induce the Mushy Pecker syndrome. What goes up must come down. It's our own special recipe and we cannot divulge the ingredients. 

Don't worry the adhesive will come right off after three episodes of Swamp People and they are sound asleep. You can then high five yourself for the win. I mean is this not the best invention ever? No more excuses. No more fake headaches. No more I am just too tired. The fight ends there. Pure defeat and you can stay pissed for as long as you want. Just remember the products are non-returnable or refundable and if this doesn't work for you, I recommend fighting like in the Roman days. 

Free trials are available for the Fake A Period kit. Get them while they are hot. These could sell out in minutes. Just send your money to 12345 I Fooled You Bastard Dr, Womanland, USA 00000 or to order call 1-000-IGOTYOU. 

Warning! Do not try to apply while intoxicated. It may not be believable if you are chocolate wasted with sprinkles and its stuck to your anal area.

For all the women in the world this is invention is for you! Other products such as  removable hemmoroids coming soon.

Happy Monday,

Dusty