Monday, June 4, 2012

Say What?

How was your weekend? Delish? Mine involved home improvement but that's another story. I'll get to it a few posts down the road. The anticipation of holding your butt cheeks together for that long will bring you back to it in a few weeks. 

So, over the course of blogging I have had several personal emails about where I come up with the crap I talk about. The answer who knows. I think of it and then I twist it until it is a dry wash rag and then put it in the compose section of this blog. Then I get a lot of responses about my "sayings". So what better time than now to give you a little up to speed version of some of my declariations in the world of Dusty. I will give you the phrase or word and use it in a sentence. Pretend I am a college professor educating you in country hick English. Here goes.

Hot Snot..I have the most amazing friends. They are hot snot! If Rachel Zoe can have Ba-Nan-As. I can have Hot Snot. The end.

Hit in the head with a wet squirrel..I would rather be hit in the head with a wet squirrel than go see the new Star Wars 3D movie. (this is truly what I said to my friend Wendy when she asked me to go with her and I truthfully have never seen a wet squirrel.)

Sexier than boots on a duck..Girl, look at you all looking good in your sundress and Payless pumps. You are sexier than boots on a duck.

Burn my eyes with a cuban cigar..My corneas will never be the same. I would rather burn my eyes out with a cuban cigar than see a guy on the beach in a speedo.

Ants eat a bail of hay..Going to the grocery store is like watching ants eat a bail of hay. It's torture.

Watching turtles mate.. I stood in line forever. It was like watching turtles mate at the zoo.

Ass end out of a menstruating skunk. This one my brother says, but I have used it a time or two. I am so hungry I could eat the ass end out of a menstruating skunk. 

So there you have it. I hope this clears things up a bit. I am sure I will give you more of these in the future. But these play an important part of my English language and conversations I have with others. In the south, we are very descriptive and it just makes sense (to us). If I tell someone I am going to hit them upside the head with a wet squirrel them's fightin' words. 

Have a great Monday everyone.
Dusty

15 comments:

  1. ha. I wonder how many people squeezed their butt cheeks together after reading that first part. I didn't. no way.
    I love hick.

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  2. I was giggling reading through your list of sayings. I think 'sexier than boots on a duck' is my fave though, I get the best mental picture! Lol!! Happy Monday!

    xo Kayla

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  3. Oh mah gaaaaah. I'm dying. I love you. I'm using ALL of these from this point forward.

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  4. lord! that last one caused my jaws to lock up. dusty!!! that is so so gross.

    AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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  5. Ha haha the sayings. Lol. I do like hot snot & sexier than boots on a duck.

    Home renos pics or it didn't happen ;)

    Just kidding, after funding out what u went to school for I reaaaaaally want to see what you guys did!

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  6. You have such a way with words....thanks for always making me laugh...please, take your show on the road so I can see you in real life! ;)
    xo,
    Shanna

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  7. "My corneas will never be the same" GOTIT!! LOL. These was AWESOME D. Keep these comin'!

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  8. bahahah this is why I love you!

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  9. I think hit in the head with a wet squirrel is my favorite. Mainly bc I kind of picture Ian taking a wet squirrel to your head and how you would react.

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  10. Oh my gosh, you are hilarious! LOVE YOUR SAYINGS!

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  11. Haha. I love your Dusty -isms. So funny.

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  12. I love that you took the time to explain your sayings. Even as your sissy I would sometimes get confused, never over Hot Snot, but probably over watching turtles mate...
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxoxo
    Justyn

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  13. I'm still laughing. It took me 5 minutes to get here. I love that you are a self proclaimed redneck princess. And your highly descriptive phrases that typically include animals' anatomy just add the icing to the cake.

    Yup, I'm still giggling...

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  14. haha I love all your sayings! I say stuff like that all the time but mine are usually mean. Not the brightest crayon, sharpest tool...stuff like that. My brother says shit like "it was like watching a penguin peel a banana"

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  15. It took me quite a while to figure out some of your terms, but I think you've brought the hick out in me! That's a good thing. I love your vocab!

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