Say What?

How was your weekend? Delish? Mine involved home improvement but that's another story. I'll get to it a few posts down the road. The anticipation of holding your butt cheeks together for that long will bring you back to it in a few weeks. 

So, over the course of blogging I have had several personal emails about where I come up with the crap I talk about. The answer who knows. I think of it and then I twist it until it is a dry wash rag and then put it in the compose section of this blog. Then I get a lot of responses about my "sayings". So what better time than now to give you a little up to speed version of some of my declariations in the world of Dusty. I will give you the phrase or word and use it in a sentence. Pretend I am a college professor educating you in country hick English. Here goes.

Hot Snot..I have the most amazing friends. They are hot snot! If Rachel Zoe can have Ba-Nan-As. I can have Hot Snot. The end.

Hit in the head with a wet squirrel..I would rather be hit in the head with a wet squirrel than go see the new Star Wars 3D movie. (this is truly what I said to my friend Wendy when she asked me to go with her and I truthfully have never seen a wet squirrel.)

Sexier than boots on a duck..Girl, look at you all looking good in your sundress and Payless pumps. You are sexier than boots on a duck.

Burn my eyes with a cuban cigar..My corneas will never be the same. I would rather burn my eyes out with a cuban cigar than see a guy on the beach in a speedo.

Ants eat a bail of hay..Going to the grocery store is like watching ants eat a bail of hay. It's torture.

Watching turtles mate.. I stood in line forever. It was like watching turtles mate at the zoo.

Ass end out of a menstruating skunk. This one my brother says, but I have used it a time or two. I am so hungry I could eat the ass end out of a menstruating skunk. 

So there you have it. I hope this clears things up a bit. I am sure I will give you more of these in the future. But these play an important part of my English language and conversations I have with others. In the south, we are very descriptive and it just makes sense (to us). If I tell someone I am going to hit them upside the head with a wet squirrel them's fightin' words. 

Have a great Monday everyone.

Dusty