Monday, June 4, 2012

Say What?

How was your weekend? Delish? Mine involved home improvement but that's another story. I'll get to it a few posts down the road. The anticipation of holding your butt cheeks together for that long will bring you back to it in a few weeks. 

So, over the course of blogging I have had several personal emails about where I come up with the crap I talk about. The answer who knows. I think of it and then I twist it until it is a dry wash rag and then put it in the compose section of this blog. Then I get a lot of responses about my "sayings". So what better time than now to give you a little up to speed version of some of my declariations in the world of Dusty. I will give you the phrase or word and use it in a sentence. Pretend I am a college professor educating you in country hick English. Here goes.

Hot Snot..I have the most amazing friends. They are hot snot! If Rachel Zoe can have Ba-Nan-As. I can have Hot Snot. The end.

Hit in the head with a wet squirrel..I would rather be hit in the head with a wet squirrel than go see the new Star Wars 3D movie. (this is truly what I said to my friend Wendy when she asked me to go with her and I truthfully have never seen a wet squirrel.)

Sexier than boots on a duck..Girl, look at you all looking good in your sundress and Payless pumps. You are sexier than boots on a duck.

Burn my eyes with a cuban cigar..My corneas will never be the same. I would rather burn my eyes out with a cuban cigar than see a guy on the beach in a speedo.

Ants eat a bail of hay..Going to the grocery store is like watching ants eat a bail of hay. It's torture.

Watching turtles mate.. I stood in line forever. It was like watching turtles mate at the zoo.

Ass end out of a menstruating skunk. This one my brother says, but I have used it a time or two. I am so hungry I could eat the ass end out of a menstruating skunk. 

So there you have it. I hope this clears things up a bit. I am sure I will give you more of these in the future. But these play an important part of my English language and conversations I have with others. In the south, we are very descriptive and it just makes sense (to us). If I tell someone I am going to hit them upside the head with a wet squirrel them's fightin' words. 

Have a great Monday everyone.


  1. ha. I wonder how many people squeezed their butt cheeks together after reading that first part. I didn't. no way.
    I love hick.

  2. I was giggling reading through your list of sayings. I think 'sexier than boots on a duck' is my fave though, I get the best mental picture! Lol!! Happy Monday!

    xo Kayla

  3. Oh mah gaaaaah. I'm dying. I love you. I'm using ALL of these from this point forward.

  4. lord! that last one caused my jaws to lock up. dusty!!! that is so so gross.


  5. Ha haha the sayings. Lol. I do like hot snot & sexier than boots on a duck.

    Home renos pics or it didn't happen ;)

    Just kidding, after funding out what u went to school for I reaaaaaally want to see what you guys did!

  6. You have such a way with words....thanks for always making me laugh...please, take your show on the road so I can see you in real life! ;)

  7. "My corneas will never be the same" GOTIT!! LOL. These was AWESOME D. Keep these comin'!

  8. bahahah this is why I love you!

  9. I think hit in the head with a wet squirrel is my favorite. Mainly bc I kind of picture Ian taking a wet squirrel to your head and how you would react.

  10. Oh my gosh, you are hilarious! LOVE YOUR SAYINGS!

  11. Haha. I love your Dusty -isms. So funny.

  12. I love that you took the time to explain your sayings. Even as your sissy I would sometimes get confused, never over Hot Snot, but probably over watching turtles mate...

  13. I'm still laughing. It took me 5 minutes to get here. I love that you are a self proclaimed redneck princess. And your highly descriptive phrases that typically include animals' anatomy just add the icing to the cake.

    Yup, I'm still giggling...

  14. haha I love all your sayings! I say stuff like that all the time but mine are usually mean. Not the brightest crayon, sharpest tool...stuff like that. My brother says shit like "it was like watching a penguin peel a banana"

  15. It took me quite a while to figure out some of your terms, but I think you've brought the hick out in me! That's a good thing. I love your vocab!