Monday, June 11, 2012

Toe Jam

Why is it that the weekends are never long enough? You have Saturday to recover from the week and the Sunday you just get started and Wham! It's over like a cheap date. We have been remodeling the house and that crap will be soon to follow, but I wanted to share my weekend recap. 

You have heard me speak of my worthless guard dogs. Well, the million dollar baby, Mille who is 13 and has cost me enough money to build a mansion did it again. This dog who wasn't supposed to live past five years old because she had a liver shunt. Fifteen hundred dollars at three months old, she was good as new. I was prepared. But people don't put their kids to sleep if they are sick, so I saved her ever loving life. She's had ever ailment in the world on top of being Marley's from the movies long lost twin and being so rambunctious and destructive. She chewed my shoes until she was 5 and a little love tap or two fixed that after she destroyed my favorite pair. So this weekend, why would it be any exception that another trip to the vet was necessary?

Thursday night the dog which can barely walk decided to take a cannonball launch off he porch and landed on the kid's skateboard and did the doggy splits. Duh wakes me up and says Mille is bleeding bad. So we go outside, doctor her up and find out she broke her toenail. No big deal right? Wrong! She broke it all the way back to her paw toe into the pad. So after two days of carrying around an 80 pound dog to eat, drink and do her business, which also resulted in my hoisting her onto a sheet on Friday night and dragging her threw the house, we took her Saturday to the vet. They ended up having to remove her toenail. She was a brave girl. Moma, well not so much. I left the room and then came back in to her foot all bandaged up and the vet tech cleaning up blood. I, needless to say, cried like an baby. We opened to door to go home thinking we were going to have to carry her out to the truck and the dog got up and looked like the road runner making a bee line for the door. Faker! 

So, $116 smacks later, with drugs and dog in hand we head home..oh, with our toenail.

Gross huh? Yep, but I thought I had to give you the full effect.

We came home and gave her a good brushing. She sheds like a monster beast and twice a year she gets her polar bear coat and it looks like another dog resides in our home. Our neighbors love us when a good wind blows.

She loves to be brushed
And some lamb farmer would be so jealous right now
look at all that fur

And here she is Sunday morning. Lying out in the construction zone
Added to her list of nicknames is club foot

I have taken this dog to the vet in the last three months for doggy hemorrhoids and now she lacks a toe nail. What's next a doggy root canal? I love her, she's my baby but it sure sucks to be 91 in dog years. Oh, and they told us she was slightly overweight. Really? You have seen her for 10 years, have told this for 10 years and let me see, does it look like she's gonna change her eating habits? We promptly went out and bought her a hamburger for being such a good girl. Diet schmiet!

Happy Monday,


  1. Aww, poor puppy! That picture of her being brushed is pretty priceless though- she's lovin it!
    I woke up to my dog throwing up this morning...I can't figure out why, but I am glad that my boyfriend, being the ninja he is thought to catch it in his hand! Eww I know, but it saved our bed/blankets/etc. from destruction! I sat up with her on some paper towels on the bathroom floor until she got it all out :(
    Cheers to us being good fur mamas! :)

    xo Kayla

  2. That toe pic about did me in! Poor puppy. 13 years old!? Wow. I'm glad she's ok, at least. You're a good momma. Happy Monday!

  3. Poor baby! But that was one sick nasty toenail. Seriously, I think I could have lived my entire life with out seeing that and been just fine. But Dusty, you wise woman, you know better and surely there is a reason why I will need that picture imprinted on my brain. So thanks for that. ;)

  4. Poor thing! 13 is an achievement considering everything she's been through!

  5. This post just reminded me how much I'm gonna miss my Tucker this week! A whole week I'm gonna be without him! I can't believe your pup is 13, she looks so happy though. Glad to see she is up and around!

  6. Poor pups. You are the best dog mama. And real mama. I am dreading bringing my cats in to get their teeth cleaned because they have to put them out and that scares the crap out of me.

  7. Poor doggy... and that toenail.. yikes. Haha, she deserved that hamburger!

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

  8. I literally threw up in my mouth a little.
    thanks sissy.

  9. Poor baby girl!!! And this is the very reason we only have fish and a new pet spider! And, seriously, that toenail is straight up a Momma could only showcase with pride!

  10. omg the nail. i thought i was going to make it through the week without seeing it! but i am loving how happy she looks to be all shaved and light and happy.

  11. hey, this is sticks. i just decided that shay is just like your dog.

    a shedding monster beast.

    1. I've decided Amy is just like your dog too, you know.. a bitch.

    2. hey, this is sticks again.

      did i mention she is just as worthless?

    3. Can I borrow that sheet you were dragging her around on?

      I think I have a murder in my near future.

  12. Poor Millie! Glad things are turning out okay. I wish my cat was that cooperative for brushings. He sheds almost as much as a full grown lab. It's disgusting.

    Can't wait to see what this remodel is all about. I love home renovation projects.

  13. Pretty hilarious! Faker! Haha. Poor dog that must have been super painful. Can't wait to see what happens next ;)

  14. I love this. Not because poor M was hurt (I am a CRAZY dog person. Don't even mention the END of Marley and Me. I can't even deal..) but because she broke her toe nail. What a typical lady hahahah

  15. Poor puppy! Good job fixing her up momma! Have a great week!

  16. Poor puppy!! That had to be painful!

  17. oh my. that toe nail looks extremely painful. poor baby. man, I wish I had that much hair...that didn't come out when I brushed it.

  18. Poor toe. She looks like she recovered well enough and thouroughly enjoyed her brushing. What a pretty old lady!

  19. That pawnail looks like a fossil. I have one of those money-dumping dogs. I'm wondering if I should just start feeding her $20's with her dinner.

  20. Poor thing. That's so sad. Our yellow lab Barley had a nail go right through his paw stubby thinga ma jigga. I totally went nutts. Good thing My Giant was there to save the day and pull it out. Hope your pup is feeling better.

  21. Oh my- it is stories like this that scare the crap outta me about getting a dog!! Millie sounds like a funny dog though- money can't buy these type of stories :P