Olympic Schmpics

"The new phone books are here!" Does anyone remember what movie that line was from? Oh and without totally looking it up. I watched it a 1000 times. My brother used to watch the movie Hot Dog. I think it was the start of his puberty years. Anyway, this Friday the Olympics are back and I can't wait. You have heard me talk about how my son's first name came from an Olympic gold medalist. I love, love the Olympics! I could have won a medal in several events, let me explain.

The pole vault. I pole vaulted once. That's how I ended up pregnant. The form was excellent and I cleared the pole. Gold Medal.

Floor exercise. Baby got moves. I can cartwheel, whip my ass around and gyrate like Beyonce but doing the splits could be a problem. I split my pants once at the Honky Tonk. I am pretty sure I did a Mary Lou Retton and twirled around on my back trying to get off the dance floor. Silver medal.

Synchronized swimming. This can be a beautiful sport. Although the swim caps aren't very appealing. I am not all about looking like Uncle Fester from the Munsters. But, I can stand on my hands, kick my feet and twirl around but then I would fall over frontwards get water up my nose and then have to blow snot rockets to get it out. I hate that burning sensation when chlorine infests your nasal passages. Nice try come back again in 2014.

The Shotput. You can make so many friends at this event. I once put down so many shots I met Ralph on a curb. I don't know what my hurling distance was but I am sure that tequila isn't my party drink of choice in the Olympic village. Bronze medal.

So you see. I am one with the Olympics and to prove it, here's a photo of me in my Olympic attire. 

(totally blitzed)

Let the Games begin!

Dusty