Tuesday, July 3, 2012


So I have a confession. I am not really a 4th of July fan. The fire crackers scare the bageezus out of me. And when the kid was just an infant they shot fireworks off in our neighborhood for hours. Do you know how hard it is to get a baby to sleep with bombs going off? Impossible! So I just am not a fan, but I thought it would be a great way to salute some great things about our country, you know things we all love and appreciate that give us the freedom to live.

I salute pee pills. Not really I just like saying it. Indulge me, say it, Pee Pills.

I salute Instagram. It has the ability to change a picture that might otherwise look like death on a stick to beautiful with just a click of a filter.

I salute yeast. No not infection, who wants to salute crotch rot, I mean yeast that make carbs. I love them. Bread, pasta, pastries, Mt. Dews. A way to a girls ass is threw her carbohydrates. 

I salute the colors red, white and blue especially when they fade to vintage. I look better in those ensembles that don't make me look so washed out.

I salute athletes. You make me realize that setting in a chair everyday could become an Olympic Sport someday. Like rolling chair races or something. 

I salute the Real Housewives of New Jersey. They make me realize that my crazy is not their kind of crazy and that being poor really does suck.

I salute toilet paper. Really, can you imagine what they wiped their butts on in prairie times? Which leads to me saluting underwear. Back then they wore those knickers/bloomers to the knees. Could you imagine now trying to take those things off in a hot match dot com moment? Me neither. 

Finally, I salute all of you. Without this little blog which by the way I  am so appreciative of every follower, lets me be just as stupid and funny in words and pictures as in real life. 

Love you all, 


  1. Thanks for the laughs with my coffee today! Happy 4th to you, my friend, and enjoy whatever the day brings to you :)

    (marching in place, humming some party tunes)


  2. Hahah you know, these are all things that I have never thought to salute to (or be thankful for?)so thanks for opening my eyes! Especially about the whole knickers thing. That would SUCK.

  3. This is the best!!! Thank you for the laughs this morning! Happy 4th!!

  4. Lord, I love you. :) I salute you, too dear! You're exactly right, who the heck WOULD want to salute crotch rot!? Yuck.

    Have a fabulous 4th!

  5. Bummer on the NO GO for the 4th of July but I get you...and I will always be by yourside to devour carbs not yeast because that makes me think of your, you know what. Happy 4th of July anyways Twat Waffle!

  6. hehe pee pills. you crack me up chica! happy 4thhhhhh xo

  7. Don't forget to salute Sephora. Takes all of my money but does try to make me look a little better than what I look like when I roll out of bed. Scary! Don't have kids but have 3 dogs that are terrified of fireworks. We live close enough to our minor league baseball field where they set off fireworks like every night this week. My dogs end up hiding in the bathroom. Sad.

    Jayme @ Her Late Night Cravings

  8. I am a fan of any holiday that promotes outdoor, daytime drinking.
    Penniless Socialite

  9. Crotch rot...lol quit it! Thanks again for making me laugh today! I love fireworks, but I don't' love when people want to shoot their own at home..especially when you have idiot friends of friends that point the firework towards the dang house!
    Happy 4th anyways- pick up some ear plugs today/tonight!

    xo Kayla

  10. i salute all the things you salute. especially yeast. even if it requires a little monistat to get rid of it.

  11. I salute you, even though I need to teach you to embrace your inner redneck with the love of fireworks. And I agree about RHONJ, any day you feel crazy, just watch Teresa and you will feel better about yourself.

  12. I salute rolling chair races, and hear by challenge you to a race. I'm pretty freaking awesome at it...just sayin.

  13. I salute my blog friends, including you. You are the bestest.

  14. I'm not the biggest 4th of July fan either. Mostly because my neighbors do fireworks every night for the week before and the week after the actual day. It's the 4th of July People!! Not June 30th-July 11th Celebration.

  15. Salute my dear! Salute.
    And shoot.
    Let's Salute Skype and use it someday!
    Loves ya. Happy 4th!

    1. Our Skype Sesh is long overdue. Been a while.

  16. Girl I'm so with you... the 4th is probably in my top 5 least favorite holidays. Enjoy either way!!

    xo Shane

  17. Lol at instagram, the savior of otherwise never see the light of day pictures!!!

    Also I have THE WORST mental image thanks to your bloomers/hot match dot com hookup description :/ !

  18. I salute you and your hilarious blog, which I'm so glad I found!

  19. Haha, you are so hilarious! I love this place too :)

  20. I salute you friend! I also salute the red & blue jello shots I'm making for tomorrow.

  21. "Crotch rot" and "Pee pills".

    You're such a delicate little flower, Dusty. A precious little flower.

  22. Hell, let's just salute indoor plumbing and tampons while we're at it. I'm convinced I would never make it in the prairie times.

  23. The toilet paper thing... it's kind of a big deal. And good toilet paper is vital. I was born in the Philippines and when we visit we make sure to bring toilet paper wherever we go... even malls because it's just not the same... unless of course you pay to use the nicer "comfort lounges".

    fireworks are over rated, but I do appreciate a good sparkler. They're pretty without the noise.

  24. Fireworks used to scare my dog so much she would try to escape from where Ed she was, ncluding by eating the drywall in our house. And I live near Disneyland where fireworks go off at approximately 9:30 pm every single day. This was a dilemma that took some effort to work through. So yea.... Fireworks aren't for everyone. But I LOVE them. I will light a sparkler tonight for you in your honor.

  25. I too salute toilet paper... and also Apple products for keeping my child entertained for longer than 5 minutes.

    xx Jenee C.

  26. I'm not sure I want to know what a pee pill is, but I salute the rest. happy 4th!!

  27. Not a fan of the fireworks either. I had to work New Year's Day last year and with all the fireworks New Year's Eve was the longest night of my life!

  28. haha you are too funny! I have a serious addiction to all the Real Housewives shows. Happy 4th!


  29. I salute you twat waffle! I love fireworks and toilet paper. Oh and you.

  30. Toilet paper deserves more than a salute! I am not a fan of fireworks too.

  31. hey, you really have a great blog... if you have time you should visit my blog and let me know what you think, if you like it we can follow each other... let me know ok!

  32. ok, putting infection and crotch and pasta and mt. dew in the same sentence is just wrong.
    yes, I still love you enough to comment, but it's wrong.

  33. I salute you, I didnt see one firework yesterday, maybe because I was tipsy and dancing to karaoke but whatev.

    I'll email you my post tonight from work, promise.


  34. I never thought to salute modern underwear... this is what I love about you Dusty. You make me think about things in a whole new light. While we're at it, we should salute modern date dresses. Could you imagine trying to get out of a dress with a corset for a steamy one night stand? Much easier to have the super-tight lycra number that barely covers your rear end for those moments.

    Colorado doesn't believe in fireworks right now. I'm kind of really saluting that. Those suckers are loud.