So as much I try to think I can do everything, I can't. I would make out a bucket list but then I would fail miserably at it. I could make a list a mile long and probably accomplish a quarter of it. Honestly, probably not even that. I make lists or get ideas in my head and I say Yes I can and then I really don't.
Here are somethings I cannot do. And please don't unfollow me because this makes me any less of a Wonder Woman.
1. I cannot fry an egg. Seriously, I can scramble the crap out of them, but if I try to fry one it always breaks, yolk every where and inevitably its the last egg left and so there can't be a re-do. I suck!
2. I cannot parallel park. Danger Danger. If I even remotely think there is no other place close enough but than to do so, I swear I will drive around in a circle until someone leaves. It seriously ends up like the movie European Vacation and me saying, "Look kids, Big Ben, Parliament."
3. I cannot hock up a loogie. I have tried. I will gag myself before I force snot in my mouth and spit it out. If you told me I had to spit and/or blow snot rockets or die. Get out the horn and start playing Taps.
4. I cannot do shots. By that I mean tequila shots or of any kind. They go down that street and come right back up. Although I think people have mad talent skills to be able to consume 10 at a time. I don't envy anyone that does it because I know they will have that two way street about 2 am when the room starts spinning.
5. I cannot spell "absolutely". If it wasn't for spell check I would miss spell it every single time. I try but at 40 is it really necessary?
6. I cannot paint my finger nails. I can do the left hand but cannot paint the right. I try but it ends up all over the sides of my fingers. I am not ambidextrous (I had to spell check that word too).
7. I cannot tie a cherry stem in a knot. I have tried. I gagged, hocked up a loogie and almost died.
Happy Tuesday friends, what can you not do?