Dork Douche

I must live in a land of stupid. Seriously, for someone who is pretty observant to my surroundings, I obviously have dork like tendencies. I am the type of person that can walk into a room and make mental notes of everyone there. I used to be fantastic with names but as I have gotten older if you ask me what someone's name is I will make it up. Many of my friends have been victims of this mad skill I have. I once had a friend ask me who someone was. I told her Dorothy. She went up to introduce herself and the lady said, I am sorry but my name is so and so. Oops. I am sure I got called a few names after that but all was forgiven. Its just my nature to do that kind of thing. Fun times.

So, even though I can tell you what "Dorothy" had on that night, I am not as observant of some things. Like the "Call Me Maybe" song. I knew there was a viral video going around with the Olympic swimmers and a viral tweet with other's repeating lines of this song, but did I get it? That's a negative. I just this weekend looked the video up and saw what all the hype was about and what do you know, the song was stuck in my head for hours after that. Dorkdouche moment #1.

Setting in the Mexican restaurant Saturday night, I was looking at the menu searching it high and low for a beef meximelt. I am thinking where are the beef meximelts? I look and much to my surprise, there are no beef meximelts because those are served at Taco Bell. Then I began to think what Mexican people think of Taco Bell. Do they like their food? Do they think its authentic? Could we have a beef meximelt challenge between Don Panchos and Taco Bell? I ordered two soft tacos and double refried beans. I came one waitress visit away from asking where they were located on the menu though. Dorkdouche moment #2.

I also pretty much solidified that I must be lactose intolerant. After drowning my sorrows in a hot fudge Sunday from Sonic. I got a rumble in the jungle. After 15 minutes, not only did I drop the kids off at the pool, I realized I dropped off the whole swim team. But I knew this would affect me this way so why in the sam thunder hell would I order a mound of ice cream topped off with chocolatey goodness? Every time I eat it, it makes me sick. Because that's what a girl does when she's down in the dumps, she eats crap that's not good for her. Dorkdouche moment #3.

See friends, I am surrounded by no interaction with the world. I still listen to Bon Jovi and think the national anthem is Free Bird (not really but its a shout out to the southern dorkdouches who still feel it necessary to take off their hats and salute the gods of Lynard Skynard.) I still think roller skating is cool, that no dress code in school is a child's way of expressing their individuality, and that you meet the parents when your kid goes out on their first date. I believe in yes ma'am and no sir, please and thank you. But I guess I should get with the program and pay attention more to the things that make this new age world go around, that's after I go listen to 80's classic Hit Me With Best Shot by Pat Benatar.

Happy Monday,

Dusty