Have you ever just wanted to punch someone right in the mouth for no apparent reason? I mean seriously walk up to them and say, Good morning, Kapow! Lately, I have been just a little edgy or maybe somewhat stressed but I have no reason to be a dicksnap. Well, I mean I have a few reasons but not enough that I can't say oh, to heck with it. But you know that saying "your getting on my last nerve" well that's the way I feel. Yesterday I went to a marketing meeting and lord if it isn't a small world I ran into someone I went to high school with. This person was younger than me which even made it worse because there wasn't a wrinkle on her face but I did want to chat and catch up yet this meeting was somewhat important because the Mayor of Nashville was speaking. I mean he doesn't mean shit to me but the more he blabbered on the more I just wanted to walk up and punch him right in the kazoo. Hello Mr. Mayor, my name is Beth (gotta give him a fake name) and your MTA bus plan sucks, Whap! Right in the kisser. Then walk back to my seat and bitch slap the class mate for not having a wrinkle or her face. The slut.
Setting in the doctors office when she comes in the room and says, "so you're not feeling well?" No, you dumb shit, I came in here to waste $25 bucks and to tell you your open toe shoes were ugly as hell. Isn't that some kind of health violation that we can be exposed to your bare feet?" Kapow! Right in those fushia pink lips and by the way your toe nail polish is ugly.
Duh comes over to me with my deodorant and says, "you're out of deodorant" and I am like, "why do you know this? Because I have been using yours." Really? But you have your own deodorant. At that moment, I wanted to loosen his two front teeth to the point of dangling redneck teeth only to be fixed by the help of a good dentist. So, I guess you get to have the PH balanced kind of day and I get to smell like a hog. I secretly hoped he received a fungus.
Last week I got an ugly comment on my blog or for what I thought was an ugly comment. Normally, things like that do not bother me because if you put it out there then your subject to anything goes. But it kind of felt personal, so I vented about it to a few and I seriously thought I am pretty sure I could totally fight like a girl. Like punch this person until their lips looked like that chick from the First Wives Club. Big fat red lips with me giving them the one-two punch, ding ding I win the championship belt kind of gratification.
I don't know why I am so edgy. I don't know why I want to just start fighting people like a wild octopus with arms flaying but maybe its my subconscious telling me I should exercise or relieve the stress. Maybe I should take up kick boxing or become an ultimate fighter.
Do you ever feel like this?
Have a great Tuesday (ha),