Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Proclamation of the Dusty Nation

I don’t know what to say except, the Super Bowl was well, better than I thought. I mean the half time show. I ate.. a lot. Then I received a headache and decided that I should not blog for two days. So, I am back with a few Proclamations of the Dusty Nation. The headache must of inspired me, or maybe it was the two days I didn’t use my brain waves. Probably the latter because this crap is really stupid and yeah, I said it.

If you don’t follow me on Twitter then you missed out. Some of this is just crap I said to friends. Who often say, “Dusty, you ain’t right. “ I am still trying to find a point to that statement and if it is meant to be offensive. Right now I am on the fence about it.

Since you don’t want to be kept in suspense here goes..

-There was a had a lunch and learn in our office Tuesday. They brought in Panera with baguettes then I proclaimed, “I just ate a piece of bread that will take me 6 days to work off. Glad I have an extra day to think about it.”  Boom!

-My Face book status 2/5/13 I proclaimed, “I forgive stupid people. It’s part of my 12 step program.” Boom!

-I read an article that Dolce & Gabbanna is coming out with a baby perfume. How stupid is that? If you buy this crap please let me know because I am going to call you a money wasting idiot but the lighter version I proclaimed, “Aww, Dolce & Gabbanna is launching a baby perfume. It smells like pureed peas and sweet potatoes.” Boom!

Talking about the half-time show with a friend then I proclaimed, “Wouldn’t it have been funny if the sign language dude interpreted Beyonce’s Bootylicious? Would he have used like a butt slap during that part to make them understand? Boom!

Reading a Face book status from two people I went to high school with and tell a friend about how they have reverted back to 10th grade puppy love. We are following this like a soap opera. I proclaimed it was “Puke in your mouth adorable.” Boom!

-I proclaimed, "I ate 3 butterscotch's and I am not drunk yet." Boom!

And finally, it’s pretty self explanatory, I proclaimed “Hot Damn I am on fire and Everybody’s Got Time for That.” Boom!

Happy Wednesday!

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  1. HOT Damn. I wish we could have watched the super bowl together.

  2. Oh Dusty, I heart you. You make me smile. :)

  3. Thanks to your "everybody got time for that", I have a new cross stitch design.

  4. errrrrrybody got time for D! True Dat! Love alove a you!

  5. I live for the expressions you use.
    and sometimes I try to use them, but I just don't pull them off as well as you.
    and that is why I love you.

  6. Boom....where is the comment you made on my IG that you are Beyonce's freakin' back up dancer???? I have missed you the past two days!!

  7. i love your proclamations. all of them.

  8. Haha, you are hilarious. And I agree, baby perfume is weird. Just sprinkle some baby powder on them and call it a day. BOOM! Ok, mine didn't have the same effect as you, probably because I am not as awesome as you! :)

    xo, Yi-chia

  9. Baby perfume? WTF. So it's pretty much going to be for the nannies to put on the spoiled rotten kids, so that they at least don't smell spoiled rotten. #Fail

  10. It only takes you 6 days to work off a damn baguette? I want your metabolism please.

    I don't know how I have missed all of these. They are fantastic. Clearly, I have not been spending mearly enough time in social media land as of late.

  11. The best part of a baby is the baby scent. Why would anyone want to mask up all that goodness?

  12. You are the bestest! I'm cracking up over here! BOOM!