Thursday, April 11, 2013

Proclamation of the Dusty Nation

This week has been hectic. The Kid has baseball games out the wazoo. Seriously, we have two more to go this week. Some days it's like watching turtles mate, but I love it. Here's my Proclamations of Twitter and Facebook this last week...or so..

My response to a photo shop application. My butt needs no shadowing it provides enough shade to keep the ants from being sun burnt. Boom! I declare my ass is fat.

I didn't write a blog post today because I was too busy watching human slip n slides beat the shit out of each other last night for $69 bucks. Boom! I do declare wrestlers have stock in Hawaiian Tropic.

Pondering. Do the guys from Duck Dynasty use Rogaine hair growth for men? Boom! I do declare Jesus and ZZ Top have been successfully cloned.

I feel sorry for people that don't know me. I really am that great! Boom! I do declare I really am that great.

Today I think I will brush my teeth while eating Oreos. What can I say I am bored. Boom! I do declare see comment above.

Warm weather only means that the douche thugs switch from jeans to shorts that now hang off their asses to their knees. Boom! I do declare thank you for wearing boxers so we know what your underwear collection 6 pack looks like when you bought them at Wal-mart.

And finally...Reading the Giant Panda breeding update from the Atlanta Zoo. Lun Lun has shown little interest in Yang Yang after 13 years. She's holding out for Ding Dong. I just know it. Boom! I do declare Pandettes ain't got time fo dat!

Boom! Happy Thursday,


  1. ah, don't worry. i have a big ass too.

  2. hahaha wrstlers have stock in hawaiian tropic?! you amaze me

  3. You can do ANYTHING while eating Oreos. True story.

  4. Not looking forward to seeing more thug butts hanging out of shorts.
    I had too much fun during our twitter Pandette convo and the sexy sloth jumping in!

  5. I have a phobia of eating oreos in public. It's always all over my teeth and then no one tells me and it's just there and awkwardness ensues.

    xo, Yi-chia

  6. Ugh sagging shorts drives me crazy!!!

  7. I love that our little twitter chat made it to the blog....and puh-lease!!! You are silly about having a big butt. And love me some Duck Dynasty boys....I think Jace is kinda hawt!

  8. Boom, I feel sorry for myself that I don't know you in person. We would have the best random conversations.

  9. Haha this is why I love following you on Twitter. BOOM!