There's A Big Fat Difference

A few weeks ago there was a series going around called If I Were A Boy. I didn't get to honestly read a ton of them but it got me to thinking about raising my own male species and what its like to be in a male's shoes day to day. I know that in life we all want equality but let's get real, it's still not there yet. The statement Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus is probably the most accurate. Women by nature are nurturing and men are materialistic. Now before you go ranting let me explain. 

In some way or another we all have both traits. Whether you have a mothering instinct or not depends on your own personal level. You may not ever want to be a mother, but you have pets and that also falls into that nurturing category. Men are more masculine. The bring home the bacon type. Keep the household running. That's why when our relationships go down the tubes, the woman is always the one who suffers emotionally. We don't think about the things we have it's what we are losing. Men get all huffy when we then in turn take everything they own because they decided to not keep their peckers in their pants. I mean think about it. How many times have you heard, "I can't believe he did that. I loved him so much. We had a family. We were supposed to grow old together." And the males say, "Can you believe that bitch? She took my house, my pension, half my bank account and she's even turned the dog against me!" See the difference here? One is WE and the other is MY. Now not all men are like this. I am just speaking somewhat generally. I truthfully am so glad I have a son but it's hard sometimes raising one.

Male and females are different in many aspects. If I were to scratch my crotch and adjust myself in public, people would think I have the ickatooty. 

Guys tend to set around and talk about boobs. Ever met a man who wasn't interested in a breast of something? Not many. But if I were to set around and talk about the Tennessee Mahogany Throbber, I would a slutbunny. 

Men can grow their hair out and we flash back to every hair band in the 80's and fall madly in love with the wanna be rock star. A girl shaves her head, she's a dike. 

If we don't shave under our arms it's all gross and disgusting but they lift their arms up and it looks like an orangatang escaped from the zoo.

A man can have a hobby that cost thousands of dollars a year just to keep them occupied. A woman spends $300 dollars on a Coach purse and its a WTF moment and possibly a cause to file for bankruptcy.

Call a woman a grill master and all the buddies in the yard are going to call him the P word. I mean they have hiked their legs and peed all over the outdoor cooking stigma.

But here's the deal. I wouldn't want to be of the male persuasion. The dingalings serve their purpose but it's not model material. It just hangs there. Dangling. Just waiting to be stomped on by the cat the woman loves so much but it only wants to set in his lap. I don't care to be in charge of cooking out doors. I personally am afraid to light the thing on fire. I am partial to my eyebrows thank you very much and who wants to smell like a shish kebab all day. I don't need an expensive hobby. Books are cheap and I can entertain myself with the ID channel. If things don't work out I at least know how to Good Bye Earl his ass after 8 hours of tube time. And if I have an itch I will just set on my foot, scratch back and forth and claim my thigh was itching. 

All I can say is men are good. They are good at what they do. They are good at the things that society and nature tells them to be at and Women well, we just fucking rock!

Happy Monday,

Dusty