Thursday, December 8, 2011

Two Cents Thursdays

My fav day! Lets get started first, Pork Skins gross me out. Chad brought in two bags on Sunday and the smell alone was enough to make me nauseous. 

While doing some online shopping I kept seeing "One Size Fits Most". So am I suppose to just take them at their word and walk around in a shirt that's either to big or to little? And how do you exchange it if it doesn't fit? I would like to exchange this to "one size sorta bigger, please". I don't understand the logic of this label.

Pulled up to the drive-thru..Me: I would like a steak biscuit and small coke and that's all, please. Drive-thru dingbat: One steak biscuit and a small coke, is that all?" Me: Yes. Drive-thru dingbat: "Would you like to make that combo?" No, you dumb ass, if I wanted a combo I would have ordered a combo. I didn't say this of course but this is exactly what I am thinking every single time they ask me this. UGH! Two extra minutes of my life I can't get back.

Standing in the grocery store isle girl walks by and puts five boxes of Skinny Cow Clusters in her basket. How is that a diet? She eats all five boxes she will turn into a bull. 

And finally, on Saturday, I wasn't feeling real swift. Chad comes in after a day of hunting looking like a giant piece of fertilizer. I am lying on the couch. He says, what's wrong. I answer with "I don't feel good today." After an hour he says, "honey, you want to boink?" First, real romantic, second, why is it that you feel like crapola and men want to do the yum yum? I swear this is I will never understand. I was polite and said, uhh, no, but what I really wanted to say is, why in sam thunder hell would I first of all want to get it on with someone who looks like a tree stump and smells like doe pee? The whole idea as I gather it of hunting is to smell and look as repulsive as possible so the deer are tricked into thinking your not there, and bam! They become some one's dinner. And yet, you male species are turned on by this. Never mind that I also didn't feel good. No wonder he didn't get a deer. He was filthy and smelled of urine and probably eating pork skins. I wasn't impressed either. Smart deer! (and yes I went there and wrote about it)

Add your Two Cents? Would love to hear it! 

Happy Holidays,


  1. you have me CRACKING up with your last paragraph!!! want to boink/!??!??! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. My husband does that! Or like he comes home while I'm cooking dinner smelling like grease and stuff and says "you wanna do it?" uhh no!

  3. Sorry. Can't form response. Still laughing. *snicker*

  4. I am now laughing so hard all the dogs think I am having a seizure. Gotta love men. It's the Me Tarzan you Jane theory, honey I got all nasty, walked a thousand miles, climbed in a tree, and shot ammo, and drug it home to you. Get's the testoserone pumping. When, honey can I rub your back and tell you that you are my world would have gotten the estrogine(I know I didn't spell that correctly) flowing. That's it, hormones. Just sayin.....