Monday, March 12, 2012

Plant Whisperer

I love women that are domesticated.The ones who can raise 2.5 children, bring home the bacon, keep the house white glove clean and still manage to hot roll their hair to perfection by the 7 pm dinner party with the next door neighbors. I on the other hand am not one of them. I can barely function in the mornings enough to straighten my hair, make sure my son's teeth aren't turning yellow, dab some powder on my nose and out the door I go. So, it was no surprise that when I looked up one day last week and notice that the plant that everyone told me would need no tender loving care was dead as a door nail. 

I am not a plant person, hell I am barely a dirt person period. I wasn't sure what to do. I stood there looking at it scratching my head thinking, hmmm? I don't have a trash bag large enough to throw it away, I am pretty sure my son's vitamins won't revive it, do I call my mother, friends, aunts or cousins? I mean I killed a cactus once for god sakes. That's right a cactus. See I have got an eclectic family. Free spirited would be a pretty good word. One of my family members had this wife or was it a girlfriend? I can't remember. He's a stud muffin and its okay, I like meeting new people. Anyway, she gave me a cactus. Being nice I took it home in its pot, set it on my patio and left it for dead. It survived the cold winter and spring, so one day during the super hot summer I gave it some water. The next day, I looked at it and it was dried up worse than Sharpei puppy. The pot and the brown stick went to the silver can for Monday morning pickup. 

I claim to be a rose connoisseur. I once had 7 rose bushes at my house. In full bloom, they were beautiful. People always asked me how I raised such beautiful roses. I lied. I told them I watered them every day and fed them miracle grow. Truth is I didn't do jack shit. If they survived the summer with the tweedle bugs and the winter then I felt like I was a prize winning rose grower. If it was up to me the only water they would get was when it rained. Actually, "Duh" waters them, I just clip and set them on the table to look pretty. 

So I am standing over this plant all drooped over with pieces of missing leaves and bite marks where the dog has obviously been taking a few nibbles, wondering what do I do. It's kind of special plant, I got it when my step dad passed away in January. The fact it even lived this long was an accomplishment. I was torn because it was a reminder of him but then it made me sad that this was all I had from that day. The plant and I chat. I lifted up its leaves, held it and made a deal. I said, "Plant, I think I am going to give you some water." So I filled up a rather large pitcher full of water and poured it in. I explained that if not better in two days, I would have to take it to a place where it probably get tossed around like yesterdays garbage and it wasn't a happy place..the dump. Low and behold, two days later, its leaves were standing straight up, all green, vibrant and frisky. That's the day I proclaimed myself the "Plant Whisperer." Who knew? I love the discovery of special gifts. I often think I have premonitions, but to have this gift is amazing. Move over Dog Talker guy, I am coming for ya. 

I am not one with nature and yet, a few drops of dew and a soft voice and I brought something precious back to life. Yeah, I know a crock of crap, but it sounded good and I made all the earth saving peeps happy. I love it when two worlds collide. 

Do you have any extraordinary gifts? I have so many more to share. Have a great Monday and remember save a plant, ride a cowboy.

Tree Hugs,


  1. Oh good, I'm not the only one who can't keep a cactus alive. Poor Mike, I tried to save him, but I guess no water/no sun wasn't good enough. Keep up the good work, Plant Whisperer!!

  2. Haha!! For Valentine's Day, my husband got me a plant instead of the regular bouquet of flowers... I was a little like 'uh oh'. They're orchids and they're sitting next to me shriveling up as I type this. Nice, right? Does the plant whisperer have any suggestions?


    1. Yes the trash! If this thing dies again it's getting a proper burial.

  3. hahahaha I need you to come whisper over our entire backyard!!!!!! I really want to have a green thumb and I am hoping that when we move and actually own the house, I will spend more time making it look nice

  4. LOL, you go you plant whisperer you! I love how you said you check your kiddo's teeth to see how yellow they are.. hahahhaa. I'm not the only one!

  5. Too funny, plant whisperer!! I do not have a green thumb either; I have gotten better but it has taken years and I have yet to grow a successful vegetable or fruit. Win some lose some, I guess?? Maybe I should go talk to the plants haha Happy Monday Dusty!!

  6. i am so not a plant whisperer! plants come to my place to croak. come over and whisper above my plants and i'll feed you and fluffy cookies?
    xx jes

  7. You are so funny! Come whisper to my peonies please!

  8. Oh my goodness, this was actually a super sweet post, and here I thought it was just going to be hilarious.

    Tree hugger, plant whisperer.. same thing.

  9. ok have you ever thought of being a comedian? seriously, you make me laugh so hard. i love reading your posts!!!

  10. just stumbled onto your blog and I love it! you're gorgeous!

    newest follower
    follow back ?

    <333 Xx

  11. You are a gal of many talents! I only have cactus haha :) Thanks for making my monday!!!