Hot Tamale ..Red Lipstick & Melodies

So last week, I stated that I would forgo my Two Cents Thursdays to have the It List. Well, I renamed it Hot Tamale. Cause Tamale's are hot and these chicks need featuring. This week is a tah-reat! Shay from Red Lipstick & Melodies, is a close bloggy friend by that I mean she lives far away, but we reach out and touch each other via text, email and soon Skype with her BFF, Sticks n Stuff. She is Shays best friend and it took her a while to share. She's not good with sharing, but just tell her you are going to take her on a long hike to Mount Saint Helen's and your in like flynn. Shay is a hoot but refuses to do Twitter (help me convince her)! And she also writes these amazing posts about life and actually got me to be speechless for the first time not too long ago (like yesterday). I love her bunches. Show her some love (no birds). She's a loyal follower and you must watch her vlogs. Her facial expressions are the best. 

So, once upon a long, long, time ago.. in February of 2012 (don't I sound like an idiot) I met Dusty.  I seriously have no idea who clicked on whose blog first, I wanna say me, because I am such a good blog stalker.  Like award winning style, I find the best.  So if you're the best, and I haven't found you yet.. then come find me dammit, I can't do it all.. I'm here.  I love Dusty.  She makes me laugh horribly inappropriately, while at work.  The only thing I totally dread about her blog is when I get down to comment, I can't remember what she wrote that was the most hilarious, so I have to scroll back up and laugh really hard at "work.."  all over again, just so I can tell her  what had me rolling, and it's always a horribly over the top comment that I'll end up leaving,  like a saga of a paragraph, but she is just that funny, but y'all know this.  

I share her with my favorite bloggers, I send them her way. I do.

Dusty, my texting, emailing, blogging friend.. signed me up for a Thursday post.  I love Thursdays, but I used to love them a whole heck of a lot more when Friends was on.  I don't want to talk about it, too emotional about it. Still. I love not being able to move on, it makes me feel stable.  I told her she had to give me a subject.  I was straight up throwin a fit over it.  A one worded subject.

"Utah."

I totally live in Utah.  With all the other 80 billion fashion, wife, cooking, sewing, diyourselfers, mommy bloggers.  However, I fall under ZILCH of those categories, okay, blogger.  But I am going to give myself a break.

I lived in Pennsylvania, you know that state no one really ever goes to, when I started my blahwg.  I had every intention of making this post about Utah.  The state full of boob jobs & ratted hair & polygamists.   I was going to brave Wal Mart (I live in Southern Utah) and bring my camera and go Polyg hunting. (tons of polygs in Southern Utah)  Take some pictures for y'all.. but it's not hunting season until June, that is when my best friend is visiting Utah for the first time, and we're doing it then.  So stick with me until June and you'll get some really awesome photos.  Fingers Crossed, they kick us out.  Is that possible, can you get kicked out of Wal Mart? I doubt it.  Dusty & Jeszilla.. one day we're gonna put this to the test, and we will not bring our ID's that day.

I then decided to blog about what I hate most about Utah.

Snow.

Ex-boyfriends/fiances

McDonalds

Ugly babies.

Birds.

Things like that, and then today I thought of how much I hate my roommates inability to have normal decorating skills, and I know I could just blawhg about those idiots until the end of time, and never run out of material, so I'm bringing it to you today.  So a post about Utah, is really about to turn into a post about my idiotic roommates crap & that one time I broke something of theirs while doing this post.

WORTH IT.

Around Christmas I started to notice an accumulation of soda cans in my kitchen. (P.S. In Utah they call Soda- "Pop", what a bunch of lunatics)  I just figured they forgot how to throw crap away, and wanted to become diabetic at a rapid pace.. rather one day a glue gun came out, Christmas lights, and a Christmas tree from hell was created.  To say I died would be an understatement. 

(notice how this one had lights)

And then, this one time, like 49 minutes ago, I attempted to take a photo of the Mt. Dew tree that ruined Christmas for the entire state of Utah, and I set it on the floor, and the thing fell apart.  I had a freaking heart attack.  Because those humans that pay me to live in this house, could come home ANY second. 

However, I knew for certain I was having a moment, so I took more pictures. 

I set it down, walked away, and felt so good about it.

I'm also 27.

In case you were wondering how old I am at this point. 

Then I went into one of the bathrooms.

I found this smoothie, almost instantly, that had a weird film on it.. and I started gagging, but not so much that I didn't capture a photo. 

Listen, I'm not a dictator about keeping the house clean, but a smoothie, that is decayed and aged?

Notice me, in that hot mess of clothes.   I'm clearly not perfect, in case you thought I was so far. 

Yep, this belongs to one of them.

Utah, it's got some defectiveness for sure. 

Like my yellow skin.

Just another reason why I hated Christmas this year. 

I ventured into Sarai's (like psoriasis) room.

And I immediately lost my appetite.

Cats are my arch nemesis, and so are my roommates, I should have known she had this, I should have known.  Shame on me for not checking in on my enemies.

And I should have known that she would have her grandfathers Christmas robe.

I don't know why this murdered me in my place, it just did. 

And if you follow my blog, you'll remember my long running, unhealthy feud with my other roommates horrific dolphin shower curtain, it's all over my blahwg, dig, you'll find it.  You didn't know she had this though.  It was hard enough to just take the picture.  It rests above her toilet.  That place that she sits, with running bathtub water.. every single time.  And I make sure to pee as loudly as I can from across the hall just to freak her out, like I really need to invest in a megaphone.

(once I made it my fb status, my roommate with the running water, and she stopped for a minute, but she's back to her old anal, paranoid, possibly has a serious eating disorder self)  I can't save her though.  I think I would be sick if I had to look at that bathroom too.

And the shrine to the dolphin towel.

A single candle.

5 leaping dolphins.

Do you guys understand why it wounds me?

I didn't even go into two bedrooms, this could go on forever.

So basically what you learned about Utah is this.

Shay, that blogger from Red Lipstick & Melodies.. is from Utah, that place that calls soda, pop.. and she has horribly inappropriate roommates, poor girl, and oh yeah, I have to follow her until June so I can see when she goes polyg hunting.

in case you wanted to know what I sound like, and how I react to horrible candy.

Wanna send me candy?

I'll let you.

And I won't yell at you via a vlog, like I did her.

Did you see it, the facial expressions. The best. I love you Shay! Thanks for honoring us with your presence.
Have a great Thursday,
Dusty

PS..If anyone wants to button swap or be a Hot Tamale send me an email. Would love to have you.