Monday, April 16, 2012

Sister Wives

So last week I told you I had a post in my que for a while about the Sister Wives. I got to thinking about it and went in and edited a few things after a little research and decided I would let it rip. 

Late one night I came across the reality show, The Sister Wives. I have heard all the hoopla but never watched an episode and being that it was late and delusional from the lack of sleep, I watched this non pulitzer prize winning piece of crap and then thought about it for the rest of the day which ticked me off even more.

As a woman who lives with two of the male species would want to share one man I would have no clue. I walked into the bathroom the other day, my "Duh" is setting on the toilet naked reading a Hot Rod magazine with the fan on. I promptly closed the door, walked down the hall, stopped and thought, that's right that man setting in there in the thinker position is all mine and I high fived myself! 

Now I don't think of myself as being a rocket scientist, but where do these women think that sharing one man has its benefits? Do you think they draw straws to see who gets to play naked Twister on Tuesday? My phone sends me reminders on my calendar when its someone's birthday or appointments that are arranged for that day. Does wife #2 wake up and see that her phone says, I get to feel the love today from man ho and she walks around the house all day singing the bonk chicka wow wow song in her head and fake spanking the air?

How does it not creep them out that he sticks his wing ding in four women on separate days of the week? And where do they think that he's so hot snot that he deserves this? There ain't no man got a dong of gold to warrant four wives. Unless that mo fo is Matthew McConaughey, there should be no question that I would be P to the issed. I am just waiting for wifey's to have a knock down drag out and that would be the best girl fight in history. Do you think they gossip to each other? Like #1 says to #3, last night we went to a movie, then a romantic walk down by the lake. And #3 gets jealous and says, oh, how sweet. We went and ate at Ruth Chris Steakhouse, I dressed up as a nurse and we got it on to Kenny G's greatest hits which inturn sets up the scenario for a fifth wife..the nurse, so way to go stupid.

How do they go out to eat with all the kids? Enter a Ponderosa and say, we will take the buffet - the whole buffet. And really how do they get private time with all 16 children. I mean, we have to lie to my son and tell him that dad is helping mom with the plumbing because we thought he was outside playing and would never come in side. Talk about putting new meaning to the minute man. Oh and all that PMS, send in the troops.

So, really here is my deal and I should say this is my own opinion because I don't claim to understand why this is acceptable. But here goes. Ladies, if you haven't noticed there are A LOT of man people in this world. Like one for each of you. It means you can have him all to yourself. What a concept and have you thought that maybe his ego is bigger than is Richard (look up the nicknames to Richard if you don't get it.) I say, dump that ho dawg, take his ass to court, obtain all his money for child support and get checked for a STD. Or you could say, hey honey, tonight we are going to try something different...meet George and see how he likes it.

Happy Monday,
Dusty

22 comments:

  1. it is me and my husband...and that is working great for us!

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  2. Haha this is hilarious. I have seen this show and I don't know how they do it either.

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  3. haha!!! I think this every time I see the show. Like really, you're all best friends?! Yeah, right... I can only imagine what some of their fights are like!

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  4. I am totally with you on this....although I've never called a guys parts a wing ding (will do from now on), we are on the same page. Why on earth would these women want to share 1 man! I am so weirded out by the whole situation but I am obsessed with the show haha

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  5. i am dying of the giggles in bed.
    "Does wife #2 wake up and see that her phone says, I get to feel the love today from man ho and she walks around the house all day singing the bonk chicka wow wow song in her head and fake spanking the air?"
    if we were ever to be in this time of predicament, like an asian irish redneck sort of sister wives thing, i think you would be this wife #2.

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  6. Ohhhhh man did I need some Monday morning laughs. Thanks for that. I think if the asian irish redneck possee were sister wives, I could deal. But we would be in charge, not the man.

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  7. Never. Ever. Ever. Would I find myself in this scenario. I don't understand it and have no desire to even try. Right there with you sister!

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  8. i've never watched the show, but i'm definitely not sharing my man.

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  9. I am dying. Thank you for that. I agree there is no reason to buy into that patriarchal bullsh*!.

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  10. I don't know why but I have watched EVERY episode and my take on it is that besides from the religious reasoning they do it more for the sister wives. They have help with their kids, they have help with the house etc..

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  11. You are taking all the joy out of polyg hunting, and I was talking to dirt girl about it just this morning on the way to work.

    I cannot imagine PMS in a polygamist compound. I serioulsy cannot, it's touch and go enough when my friends have it, and we live a bazillion miles away from each other.

    It's all those polyglits running around that kill me. so many children.

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  12. I got stuck on this show for a while...just fascinated with it. I think I just wanted to see if they were "normal". I was actually surprised by how normal seeming the women were - the husband, he seems strange to me. But they seem genuine. Not for me, but to each his own.

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  13. I have never watched this show because of the very reason you posted about it...straight up weird and nasty...I don't get it and never will. But, I am glad you got sucked into one night because this post is cracking me up...tell it straight, sister!
    xo,
    Shanna

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  14. BOOM - knowledge has just been laid. I agree with you though, but I would love to see a chick fight between the wives. I could see this coming in handy though when you don't feel like having your "plumbing fixed" you could be like - not tonight honey, go bang wife #4.
    xx
    justyn

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  15. I was wondering if you ever saw them but I guess they moved states! I feel so bad for these women who go along with it because some cult tells them too. I am interested in what happens though. I hope they realize his true intent.

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  16. I completely agree. Where do women feel that they cant have their own man to themselves that they must share? & where does this man think he can just have ALL 4 his wives under one roof & jump room to room, like the kids dont have questions. They need to get it together. but thanks for the insight of it!! Is the show still on the air?

    xoxo
    jessica

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  17. hahaha I miss your blog! It's my very favorite. Anytime I need a good chuckle, I come on over to your blog!! :)

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  18. Hahahaha...I agree with Denise...

    I am pretty sure I laughed all the way through this one (just like every other post). Girl you are preaching to the choir. Although I have to admit as much as I hate the idea behind it, I get totally sucked in...EPIC fail on my part...

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  19. I TOTALLY agree with you! I have thought this before about this show and just don't get their thinking. It's like a different species of women, those gals. Don't get it, never will, don't care to. It just worries me for those kids who live with it. I've got mah man too and stickin' to him girl!

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  20. I had this EXACT convo with my hubs last night at Chilis as we observed some polygs in southern Utah. I would never be down with my man sticking his wing ding in any hoo has other than mine. not ok. And I was even wondering about the STD thing. gross.

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  21. so, i'll have you know that i am TOTALLY offended.

    so, so, so offended.

    because all of my imaginary sister wives are crying right now, and i have to console them before i iron 52 denim skirts. way to to. you just destroyed my week.

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  22. This is crazy to me. They do this in the name of religo.religion? Don't get me started! Does that mean Saturdays are a free for all? ewwwwwww......and you know that's saying something from me! Might as well be swingers. I need to lie down. Chow.

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