Oh boy. It's so hot. I mean seriously the devil himself would probably want to vacay in Antarctica. I am in heat. I hate the heat! I do seriously. Where am I at you wonder? Oh, just in Tennessee. Home to the Smokey Mountains, land of nothing. It has been scorching here. Like 98 with a heat index of 110 and its only going to get worse. Now, I know that all my peeps from Texas, Arizona or Mexico are gonna be all up in my grill about "you don't know heat missy." Well, okay but with 80 percent humidity the whole state is a human sweat lodge.
There is nothing fun about it if you asked me. Just this weekend I researched new deodorant. My lady speed stick is not keeping me dry. Yes, I don't have the white arm pit syndrome, but I hate driving down the road with the AC on max and lift my arms and a cold blast hits or having sweat rings in your fabulous t shirts. It's not working. So, I bought Secret Outlast. Smells good that's about all I can attest to at this moment.
I am surprised that women everywhere aren't spraying themselves down with Hawaiian Tropic, throwing on the bikini and trying catch the rays threw their windshields on the way to and from work. Although truckers everywhere would love it.
I can't do anything with my hair with this humidity. I can flat iron the bullshit out of it, put every product in it there is and by the end of the car ride home, I look like Buckwheat from The Little Rascals who is pretty cute by the way. I mean you can only wear a pony tail for so long before you start looking like a peeled onion.
I am pretty sure that it drains all the energy out of my body. It makes me tired and lazy. I am developing narcolepsy as we speak.
I don't dare fart for fear of burning a hole in my underwear although the idea seems good at the moment, instant ventilation.
And I would almost be tempted to start up a nudist colony but I am afraid to see what's behind the bushes (yes, pun intended).
Seriously, I am in heat, and the only thing stuck to me is my frickin' clothes. I hate it. I am bringing sexy back with a parka.
This is my fashion post, Wednesday, just thinking about clothes makes me hot,