Wednesday, June 27, 2012

I'm in Heat

Oh boy. It's so hot. I mean seriously the devil himself would probably want to vacay in Antarctica. I am in heat. I hate the heat! I do seriously. Where am I at you wonder? Oh, just in Tennessee. Home to the Smokey Mountains, land of nothing. It has been scorching here. Like 98 with a heat index of 110 and its only going to get worse. Now, I know that all my peeps from Texas, Arizona or Mexico are gonna be all up in my grill about "you don't know heat missy." Well, okay but with 80 percent humidity the whole state is a human sweat lodge.

There is nothing fun about it if you asked me. Just this weekend I researched new deodorant. My lady speed stick is not keeping me dry. Yes, I don't have the white arm pit syndrome, but I hate driving down the road with the AC on max and lift my arms and a cold blast hits or having sweat rings in your fabulous t shirts. It's not working. So, I bought Secret Outlast. Smells good that's about all I can attest to at this moment. 

I am surprised that women everywhere aren't spraying themselves down with Hawaiian Tropic, throwing on the bikini and trying catch the rays threw their windshields on the way to and from work. Although truckers everywhere would love it.

I can't do anything with my hair with this humidity. I can flat iron the bullshit out of it, put every product in it there is and by the end of the car ride home, I look like Buckwheat from The Little Rascals who is pretty cute by the way. I mean you can only wear a pony tail for so long before you start looking like a peeled onion.

I am pretty sure that it drains all the energy out of my body. It makes me tired and lazy. I am developing narcolepsy as we speak. 

I don't dare fart for fear of burning a hole in my underwear although the idea seems good at the moment, instant ventilation.

And I would almost be tempted to start up a nudist colony but I am afraid to see what's behind the bushes (yes, pun intended). 

Seriously, I am in heat, and the only thing stuck to me is my frickin' clothes. I hate it. I am bringing sexy back with a parka.

This is my fashion post, Wednesday, just thinking about clothes makes me hot,
Dusty

31 comments:

  1. Same here! It's miserable outside here in Houston too! Then, to confuse my body even more my office turns the A/C down to freezing levels! We are all walking around with sweaters on indoors and sweating bullets outside! Just nuts!

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  2. Hahaha. You kill me...especially about burning a hole in your pants. It is ridiculously hot here in KY too. The forecast for tomorrow and Friday shows 104 and 102, and that's WITHOUT the heat index. Omg, I hope to survive this heat streak. Best of luck to you, I could use it too!

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  3. You will need to give a full review of the deodorant soon - thanks!

    Jan

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  4. Eff the Georgia heat I'm sweltering in, too. OMG. The ventilation from a hole in my pants would be rockin'. Can I work in cutoffs? I wonder...I have scissors...and they're khaki....hmmmm.....business casual?

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  5. Yesterday wasn't so bad! Have you seen the forecast for this weekend? 105! Are you fucking kidding me????!!!! We will die in August, just melt away and die.

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  6. It's supposed to be 101 here today with a heat index of I have no flipping clue. Is it appropriate to go to work naked?

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  7. Found your blog from TwoSmuppies...the heat in DC is up and down, its either 75/80 or 100. I prefer the 100 with full humidity, yes I'm a freak ;)

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  8. this is gross but this heat is making my butt sweat uncontrollable!! hahaha

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  9. Oh Dusty, oh Dusty.

    I do not miss the humidity. It's why I will never visit Twiggs in the summer, never. and never really just means I probably will.

    I hope you and your new deodorant live happily ever after.

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  10. UUGGHHH... I have to wear a cardigan in the office because it's freezing and then I step outside and I'm sweating like a banchee. I hate it. Why can't it just be a constant 72 degrees with a nice breeze? Is that too much to ask?

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  11. Use Dove deodorant. I do and it keeps me dry and baby powdery fresh! Come hang out in Texas with me!!!!

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  12. I am so glad I don't live wherever you live. I absolutely hate the heat. Haha, I think you should try farting and tell us what happens.

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  13. I feel bad laughing at your expense! It's a great excuse to eat popsicles all day!

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  14. hahahhahaa, omg. i would DIE. DIE. I complain about the lack of sun and rain, but that humidity. I would DIEEEE.

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  15. I hear you...it is SO hot in Houston!!

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  16. Hahahahaha! I love you Dusty!

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  17. Agreed :/ This week isn't so bad, but last week... my hair was a bush.

    Zia
    singing-blue.blogspot.ca

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  19. Naked work day sounds AWESOME! And so does a margarita...Kels, GREAT idea!

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  20. 98 yeah too hot. Portland is wonderful in the summer, for example it is 244pm right now and it's only 70 degrees, yes please. It'll be 77 by 4pm and that's just perfect for me.

    Though I would like a tan, so maybe I'll do the Hawaiian Tropic in the car for you :) But only because you're fab.
    xx
    Tab

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  21. hi there! coming from the hop!

    visit nichollvincent.blogspot.com!

    have a wonderful day!

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  22. I certainly do not miss humidity! I grew up in Missouri and my BIL and SIL live in AZ, so I've been to AZ many times. I would take 115 degree AZ weather over 100 humid Missouri weather any day!

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  23. Girl I feel your pain. I'm from Louisiana. It's pretty much the armpit of the south. ha ha

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  24. ugh, 100+ this weekend in KS.
    I hate it.
    Sherm hates it more.
    I bet your armpits smell just lovely.

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  25. It has been a record breaking June here too. 5 days in a row over 100 degrees. With 8% humidity. And 12 forest fires. Eff. It feels like you're right up there in the fire. Awesome. There is no deodorant in the world strong enough for this summer. Although I heard you can use botox to paralyze the sweat glands in your armpits... in case you were really concerned about the sweat situation.

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  26. It's pretty hot here too.. Wishing you cooler days!

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  27. I freaking love you. That is all. For now.

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  28. Post title, priceless!!! I love the heat but I hate my hair in humid weather... It gets crazy a la Monica from friends.

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  29. humidity and hot don't mix. It get really hot in Utah, like yesterday was 94 or something.. but it's super dry. Which I can handle. I HATE florida, because it's so high in humidity. I couldn't even breathe.

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  30. Girl, I am right there with you. It is misery right now...especially because I am still hung over from last night!!!

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  31. Buckwheat was so cute! The weather sounds hellish, I do not far well in the heat, it was 23oc here today and that was too warm. I thought I'd stop by your blog as I just saw the comment you made on Justyn's blog about wanting "believe" as a tattoo on your wrist, that's exactly what I have. I saw you had asked if tatts on wrists hurt, I barely felt it and what I did feel I liked, it wasn't uncomfortable or painful.

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