You have heard me several times talk about that I am sure my mom was on a high juice cocktail when I was born and gave me a boys name. ..unless you've been living under a rock. I didn't really have an issue with it until the 5th grade and they put me on the boys list at school for teacher assignment of students the first day of the year. From then on, my complex began. I remember many times when someone would ask my name even as an adult I would take about three seconds to answer and I always get..oh, I love it, sounds famous.Well, I am not famous just yet. I am still working on that. But I thought I would give my thoughts on all the hype on celebrity baby names.
We know that Jessica Simpson gave birth to a beast. I mean a baby last week and named her Maxwell. And it's already started with the Maxi pad jokes. I personally kind of like it although I am team Vanessa and Nick and its a boys name. How can you not cheer for it and then think poor kid.
I chose Ian's name because I knew no Ian's. Now they are everywhere. But I am always so curious as to where or how they chose to name their own child that. I named Ian after an Olympic Gold medal swimmer, Ian Thorpe. I thought that hopefully one day when he looked for inspiration he would know his name sake accomplished something big. I also when I think of names always revert to the 3rd grade Banana Fanana Fo Fanana song. Why, because its still stupid cool. Read more about stupid cool here.
So here are my picks for stupid celebrity baby names that will cause each of these kids to hate their parents when they get older..and rightly so.
Alicia Silverstone - Bear. Not only does she feed him her own chewed up food but she gave him an animal name. The result. Pooh bear, polar bear, and teddy bear. Hate factor a 9. And that's only because one day he will read the article of her chewing up her food and feeding it to him. I see Cub Scout leader as his calling.
Kate Hudson - Bing. A search engine on the internet. A sound. The result. Bing Bong, Bing dong and Bing ding. Hate factor a 6. I would be pretty pissed if my big brother was name Ryder and all I got was plain ole Bing.
Rachel Griffiths - Banjo. Musical instrument and dog name. The result. Banho and Bunghole. The kids are all going to ask him if he knows how to pick-n-grin like the country folk. I will wonder when he's 25 if he still has all is teeth and making an appearance on Swamp People. Hate factor 8. Of course it could have been worse. She could have name him Cello.
Nicole Richie - Sparrow. This one is hard because I LOVE her. She's one of my style icons. But a bird? Did she lay him in a nest and set on him for a few weeks until he hatched. I guess in a round about way that's what women do. The result. Arrow, Sabbarro, Dario, Bird man and Little Beak. Hate factor 7. Birds are beautiful creatures but I would tell her at about 18 to fly a kite.
Gwyneth Paltrow - Apple. I know I will get booed for this and I know that you could say she's the apple of my eye. Yep, yep, yep. But kids at kindergarten will love it and when she gets older all the pick up lines she will get. You sure are sweet, let me take a bite bullshit. The result (jail time for punching out a sicko) and Snapple, rapple, apple pie, and gabble. Hate factor 2. I mean it is a sweet thought.
Beyonce - Blue. It's a crayon color. The result. Blue bell, blue bonnet, blue sky, slew, dew, peppy la blue. But maybe she was on the cocktail herself. I drank a blue Valium drink once and it knocked me on my ass. Hate factor 4. She's Beyonce's kid. All she has to do is tell someone to if they don't like it they can put a sock in it (insert music here).
So those are my thoughts on these celebrity baby names. I mean what ever happened to good ole Virginia. Yeah, its not too great either but you could call her Ginny.
Where did your name come from? Do you know someone who named their kid something unusual? I would love to hear it.