Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Rewind Twenty Nine

Sometimes I think of a story, then I select a title. Sometimes a think of a title then write the story. Today, the title means nothing and the story is just a recap of somethings I found interesting, boring or just plain willie wonka'd in 2012. Yes, I could give you recap of my favorite post, or my non existent outfits that I thought I would display or say click here and read this crap, but if you read my blog, you know what I have wrote and if you're new then you should have been catching up. I am correct? Correct. So here are a few things this lifestyle blogger found in 2012 that I feel sums up how I felt about a few things and glad that the new year is here. Yeah, yeah, I am going to get to some stuff I plan for 2013, but let me do a little catching up will ya? 

First, Chevron was all the rage. Shirts, skirts, pillows and bows. It was everywhere. I like it although I would rather have flower power, it's a modern twist. But wearing it is totally different. Why would I want to wear something that is an inverted math sign? I see it and I think it screams my boobs are <less than> my stomach or here is an arrow tip pointing to every part of my body that is being defied by gravity going down. I guess it could be a big bunch of W's or if you stand on your head, M's. Oh, wait, its multi-functional. I get it now.

The top knot. I for one, I am a fan. I am certain that my hair is glad I am going back to work because this is basically how my hair has stayed for 9 total days not consecutive of course. My hair at this moment has enough grease to fry an egg on it. To say I was lazy is an understatement. I have seen many a bun over the last year and ladies here is the deal. In the South, we say the higher the hair, the closer to God. But if you start looking like Marge Simpson, then its time to maybe try a pony tail. I just don't feel that inter tubes on the top of your head are appropriate unless you could be drowning. Oh, wait it's multi-functional. I get it now.

Liquid Leggings are well, I have no clue. I see them and think why do I want to wear something that enhances the liquid that makes up the fat content in my legs? Liquid moves. It jiggles. Sloshes to be exact. So do my thighs. I see them and think this is the tar and feathered look but where is big bird. Somewhere a pot hole is missing its fillings. Oh, wait its multi-functional. I get it now.

Facebook has drove me nuts. I have over 300 friends an only 80 of them wished me happy birthday back in November. Why am I friends with these people? They never comment on my status. Plus, I have two people that post over and over. I walked up the stairs. I walked down the stairs. I walked back up the stairs. I tripped, fell down the stairs. Now I should go back up the stairs and call 911. For fucks sake, I just want to see the pictures and  and read funny status updates. One guy was about half dead a couple of weeks ago. First his arm was going to fall off in 6 hours, then the doctor said he was lucky he had 24 hours and he could have gotten an infection and died. Holy shit, the world was ending on that Friday and the mother effer got a jump start is really how I felt about it! Ugh! Facebook isn't for every time you take a dump, every time you had a bad day and decide to cuss out the world, those feel sorry for me status updates five at a time, that you ripped off your toenail to the quick or that other people in your family seem to be fighting and its good gossip. Oh, wait its multi-functional. I get it now.

Naked children on a blog. I just somehow find it yuckola. Yeah, kids butts are cute. Every little crinkle you just wanna love it, squeeze it and call that fat ripple George, but seriously, if you think it's appropriate and then someone steals your kids photo to sell then your a dumbass and have no right to complain, plus your giving every pervert out there an outlet. Oh, I see your stats go up because some whackoff is observing your naked children in the sand. Oh, wait, that's screwed up. I don't get it.

Big Name Bloggers who are rude. News flash! This dumbshit right here is one of the many who passed along all of your names to read. News flash! One of this dumbshit's 300 plus followers probably led me to your blog and I keep reading it because well, it sometimes perhaps can be funny and you do have material that this dumbshit might want to twist, spin, turn and write about someday.  But here's my deal. Just because you are somewhat a bag of chips, not everyone is all that. People spend money advertising on your blog so you can buy more Chevron and liquid leggings and 15 more trips to Ikea. Unless you have over 10,000 followers not counting feedburner, bloglovin, check here, check this box, yes or no follow me to Oz and back, if I leave you a comment, how about just saying, thank you, or bahaha, or maybe you have an auto response that says, "thank you for coming by and visiting such and such blog, right now I can't answer you because I am too busy asking the lady in the mirror who the fairest of them all is." Oh, wait your an asshole. I get it.

So there you have it. Some of my recap. I could go on and on! It's a new year. New material. New life. New beginnings. So let's have fun this 2013. You think it, I say it. Oh, wait, we are multi-functional. I get it now.

Dusty


31 comments:

  1. Seriously love all of these and you had me laughing hysterically.

    :)

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  2. I love it! Let's be FB friends! :) I promise to wish you a happy birthday and like a status every now & then. Happy New Year girlfriend! This year will hold special things for us both!

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  3. hahaha!!! Oh man, the chevron. That was crazy this year. So were polka dots, but I actually like polka dots, so I'm buying up on them and am going to save them for all the years to come when polka dots are not cool.
    And I've been shocked to see that people put naked pictures of their kids on their blogs. I mean, I was mad that my mom put naked pictures of baby me in her scrapbooks, but this is a whole new level.

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  4. OMG you were cracking my shit up. I'm so over FB and rude peeps. And liquid leggings, wtf are those for? I don't want my big thighs highlighted in shininess. Bleh. Oh wait, it's multifunctional, I get it now. That's gonna be my saying for the new year. Love it. :)

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  5. I've been over FB for a while and deactivated mine back in April. Thinking about deleting it since I don't miss it AT ALL! Deactivated my Twitter too (just not feeling it, may revisit it again some time). You are too funny, girl and I needed it on my first day back to work after my 11 day holiday break. Gah!

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  6. love your honesty my friend! hahaha. Liquid leggings...gags

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  7. This post is the main reason why I love you so! I agree with all of the points you've made above! So much so, I feel like clapping right here at my desk. Spot on Dusty. Spot on. and you also made me laugh, a lot. But that shouldn't be a surprise to you. That's pretty typical you have me falling out of my chair and giggling like a looney tune in this silent office of mine. LOL! Liquid leggings need to just be non-existant. Yuck.

    Love ya bunches! XOXO!

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  8. Big name bloggers are starting to really annoy me. I know two that I can name off the tip of my tounge that think they are "better than thou" and won't even respond or set up an auto response for their comments. I feel the whole point of blogging is branching out and connecting with others. If you can't connect, what's the point? That's my favorite thing about blogging! But again, I do know a few big name bloggers that do connect! They're slim pickins! Great bloggers like you are hard to come by!

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  9. This. is. Fantastic. As always! :) love ya!

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  10. Annabelle /\ put it best: great bloggers like you are hard to come by! You are a rare, rare find D.

    I do have to admit, I don't judge people that don't respond because honestly, sometimes I don't need or want a response, it makes me feel weird, like do I then need to respond to the response?? and please nooo auto responses!!! If I get one of those, I def won't comment again! Just clouds up my inbox. That's just me. :)

    Chevron. A very, very wise girl that loves fried pickles once told me not to knock it till I tried it in relation to chambray, and I think that same advise should be passed forward. Chevron looks effing fantastic and feels chic D!! Try it!! ;D

    FB. Is so pre 2012. Get rid of it!!!

    you, my friend, are balls out this year, I can tell, and I love it!!! Love you!

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  11. haha yes. liquid leggings? maybe I am out of the loop. yes to the top knot. No to rude bloggers. grrrr

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  12. Well said sister!! I'm seriously over rude bloggers who think they're top dog too!
    Love ya

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  13. All of this is true!! FB has been on my last nerve lately, too many stupid people that I'm "friends" with on there.

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  14. Haha, BOOM! What a great way to start the new year. You had me laughing so hard! FB can be a bit of a downer, but you do learn so many random facts about people's random lives that you otherwise didn't want to know about. Confession: I can't do a top knot. I don't know why. It's such a simple concept.. but I can't do it. I feel like I'm not a real fashion blogger unless I wear liquid leggings while sporting a top knot... haha oops!

    xo, Yi-chia

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  15. good old recaps.

    i can't wait to see what you get into this year.

    bunches of hugs

    {even though i don't have 300+ followers, i know EXACTLY what you mean. my preferences have changed because of this reason too}

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  16. Liquid leggings and my cellulite are in a fight. Forever.

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  17. WTH are liquid leggings???? is that just leggings I am so lost!!

    miss ya girlie!

    Sharee'
    www.momFITtingitallin.com

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  18. OMG you are so funny. Entertainment right here!

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  19. Hi there - found your blog through the link up. Can't wait to read more! Hope you're having a happy new year :)
    Rachel
    http://sugar-stripes.blogspot.com/

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  20. You, my dear, are amazing! And what the hell are liquid leggings?! Never heard of them...I guess I should crawl out from under my rock occasionally. Nah...it's actually warm and cozy under here. Wanna be fb friends? :P

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  21. Happy New Year my dear dear friend! I have missed you!!! xoxox

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  22. haha Dusty! I'm definitely thinking twice before doing anything on facebook now. I might actually ask for your permission first. Deal?

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  23. So, are you saying I like to showcase my liquid fat with my liquid leggings?? As long as they cover my ass, then I am gonna keep sporting them...because they stretch and don't give me muffin tops!! Email me who the biatch is that is ignoring you. I think I have a good idea! Love you long time. Now go kick 2013's ass and that other guy's! #69 RULES!!!!!

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  24. Ohhhhhh Dusty. Dusty, Dusty, Dusty. There are too many things that I love to list them. All I can say is, you speak for all of us! Except one time I did wear liquid leggings. You know why? Because those effers are so tight they held my fat in nicely.

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  25. haha oh dusty! I think I know the blogger you're speaking of. I've never seen them answer a question in their comments, ever!

    liquid leggings look good on pretty much no one, I wish they'd go away.

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  26. Hahahahs they are rude huh, and assholes

    But I do love chevrons and too knots!

    And you!

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  27. I on the other hand hate the top knot. I feel like everyone is trying to look like mulan. I just am not digging that style one bit! However I am really grossed out by naked belly photos for maternity photos. Kabam! love ya!

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  28. SO beautiful!! Popping over from Sugar and Dots to say hello. :) Have a wonderful week and very happy 2013! XOXO

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  29. I adore you more than I can express.

    Top Knot... I don't mind it and I wanted to try it... and then I was too lazy to actually do it.

    Facebook... I also don't need to know when you check into Costco, Walmart or Panera. Nobody cares.

    Pictures of Naked Kids... I mean there are creepy people all over the internet. Do you want them to get a hold of your naked kid's photo and only God knows that they actually do with that! FUCKING YUCK!

    Big Time Bitchy Bloggers... You can't not tell me so I'm actually begging... I have to know because I have a few on my list too. I'm stalking you until you tell me about this part.

    Happy New Year lady!

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  30. We are multi-functional now!!!! I just effing love you. And I refuse to comment on most big-name bloggers' posts, simply because of their lack of desire to start genuine connections with anyone outside of their group. I really hate when they post those damn "new blogger advice" posts, and tell all of the small fries bloggers that they are only friends with people to started their blogs around the same time. So, I guess since you don't want friendship, you're just trying to feel cooler than everyone else???

    I rock the same damn hairstyle every single day. That's the sheer and utter joy of having 4 inch long hair. Although some days I get wild and add some pomade to give it the "intentionally messy" look, instead of the "low maintenance, I don't give 2 shits" look.

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  31. I will never look at chevron the same again. Especially if someone is wearing it!!!

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